Is It Possible That I Am More/Less Attractive Than I Think I Am?

So, I'm totes Sexier than I was 12 months ago when my dear co-rev and I started this blog, and I know I'm way Sexier than I was 18 months ago, when things were put in motion. I see a difference physically (minus somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 pounds) and even more importantly, I feel a difference.

But...I've been talking to some people recently about the fact that sometimes it is still hard to "let go" of the feeling that you are unSexy. I spent upwards of 26 years having no strong feelings at all about my attractiveness. I guess I thought I was "average." It's so hard to judge one's own attractiveness relative to others...which I guess is what I am struggling with/lamenting here. Now that my own physical attractiveness relative to myself had increased significantly, it it still hard for me to shake my previous (and completely half-assed and noncommittal) assessment of my own attractiveness.

I don't mean to be harping on the physical, but for me, I have rarely lacked social confidence or felt that I could not attract people to/with my personality and my wit. But it never really dawned on me that I might attract or need to attract someone with my appearance. I mean I'd put on top tier outfits and compliment myself, but I still didn't put much stock in it. Also, I just don't know where I fit on the spectrum of ugliness to plainness to cuteness to hotness to handsomeness to averageness. I do not write this blog to fish for compliments or to invite the readers to offer opinions as to where I fit in. I'm just saying it's hard (like eggs) to know how attractive you are to the populous.

I recently told a friend that if you put a stack of headshots in front of me and asked me to rank people in order of attractiveness...and then add myself to the mix, that I would have no idea where to put myself and would likely lowball myself. I am not fishing and I am not looking for opinions. I guess I'm just saying that when one has never thought of oneself seriously in those terms, it's hard to start doing it.

I know that compared to Curt at 17 or 22 or 26 or 27, that I am more attractive...but how does that work once I get out of my own personal pond and into the big pond. How do I know if I'm barking up much prettier trees...or much plainer shrubs?

If you look around you, countless examples of mismatched attractiveness pervade our peer group. Most often, it is some very pretty girl with a completely unremarkable-looking man. This begs the question, how did straight men get the confidence to date outside their league and how do I get that confidence? How do completely non-descript straight men walk around thinking that they could/should date much more attractive women and then go on and do it?

This is unSexy talk, I know. I am totes Sexy and am totes enjoying my newfound and continuously growing Sexy. It's still new though, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work it...all of the new features, the shiny buttons, the bells and whistles... So I'm just hoping that the Sexy will take care of this problem for me...a problem which, I guess, is not such a bad one to have.

Thoughts/Comments? Does anyone else think about this?

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Besides sweating about the election I don't know. Well...I mean I do know that I am not going to dress as a "Slutty Pumpkin."

Question for Nicolle:
What's Sexier...regular verbs or irregular verbs?