Top 5 Sexiest Holiday Songs!

I can't believe we never did this one last year... I guess we were so hyped up at that point and had so many ideas, this brilliant one got sidetracked for more serious Sexy helping fare!!! Can you believe there was anything more important than this list? No, it is hard to believe. Sometimes we take ourselves too Seriously here... (ha ha) In any case, here are my top five Sexiest Holiday Songs!!! What are some of yours?

1. All I Want For Xmas is You: Now I don't like Mariah Carey at all, but boy howdy do I love this song, a lot. First of all, it's in that movie starring Sexy English Guy Hugh Grant (btw, why do I always say Grant when I want to say Jackman?)... you know with Sexy Kiera Knightly and all that Love stuff... O now I remember the name- Love Actually. I like this movie. I think it's sweet. I make no apologies for wanting to find true love while working for the British Prime Minister. And I think all the weird Sex going on is Sexy. Good for Alan Rickman for getting his Old British Ass some tail and then even better for Emma Thompson giving him hell for it. Anyway, AIWFCIY is a really fun Sexy song that gets my holiday spirits soaring and o look Mariah's like practically naked in the video... Don't believe me, Youtube it. In any case, this song always puts me in the mood... the Sexy Mood... the Sexy Holiday Mood.

2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (B Springsteen): Now the more traditional version of this song is kind of stupid. Zoey Deschanel just sang it to me (and anyone else watching ELF) last night and it was pleasant but forgettable. Now, you all know I love myself some of the Jovi (that's the kind of Jersey girl I am), but the Boss' very Sexy rockin' version of SCICTT is awesome.... So much so that I frequently forget how the original goes (thanks sister of Bones for reminding me). And I love it when he yells at the crowd about how there aren't that many people who have been nice..."Not many, not many" And he mentions the Boardwalk. I live on the Jersey Shore people and this is like our Christmas Anthem. Plus I like all the Yea Yea Yea's at the end. This is one time where the Boss beat the Bon Jovi... so far Jon hasn't recorded any Xmas songs as memorable as that one... Sorry Babe!


3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: This song is all naughty... and that's very Sexy. I mean why is the Daddy dressed up as Santa... Sure you could argue that the parents were really into keeping the Santa illusion alive, but where I'd like to go with it... (Can you guess by now??? O give it a shot. I'll pause for second so you can conjure up some twisted ideas) And... ok. Well, I'm thinking that maybe Mommy has a thing for bigger, bearded guys and this is just really really bizarre fetish role playing. And then O NO, your kid totes catches you. But you find out cause he thinks that Mommy's cheating on you with Santa. HA, the embarrassment. But the Sexy night of rolling around in the tinsel was well worth it. I mean dirrrrty. Well played Mommy and Daddy, you're gross perverted weirdos. And you managed to work in a Holiday theme, I salute you!!!

4. O Holy Night (Tracy Chapman): Some could say that her voice is not Sexy. I would say "You are so wrong it hurts me to look at you." I love TC's voice and I especially love it during this song. Silent Night was always my fave traditional Xmas song, but the lilting haunting vocals of this grumbly lady really changed my mind. Sexy singing to me is acoustic guitars and an Awesome voice. Tracy Chapman rocks this one whereas Josh Grobin makes it sound like everything else on the Holiday Planet. TC you are one Sexy Singing Bitch and I love this version. Thanks for making it special.

5. Baby it's Cold Outside: This song is stupid, but funny and hilarious. And every dynamically ridunkulous duo that makes a recording of this song is a little Awesome in my book. Last year, I heard a version by Rob Stewart and Dolly Parton. No really. I mean, on the radio, for everyone to hear it and boy was it funny. And the plot... Holy Moses Jesus (happy bday man) "Honey it's cold outside..." Stay here, have Sex, go home in the morning... Taxis aren't going to come get you. Who cares if people are looking for you... just stay here, have Sex, go home in the morning. TEE HEEEEE SO Awesome and Sexy. I remember Manda and Killer listening to a Barry Manilow version a lot back in the day. Seriously- Hate it so much that I love it.

Honorable Mention for his Sexy Confidence: Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer... LIKE COLUMBUS!!!!!! (not George Washington)

Sexy Holiday Tip #515: Listen to Holiday Music as loudly as possible. Annoy Everyone!!!!! Fall into the Spirit of the Season!!