I really am tapping all the holiday stuff this year... And how can Sexy 08 not get into the "Coming (ha) of Sexy" Story that is Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer? I mean, it is clearly detailing how this awkward, unSexy buck got his Sexy & Awesome on, saved the girl, got his friend a job as a dentist, and Saved Mo-Foing Xmas. Hello- Sexy 08- totes. It's hard like eggs ya'll to get that kind of mad handle on your life and Rudolf did it in like the span of I guess a year? I don't know the life cycle of reindeer- but he totes gets antlers by the end of the story so I assume he's like an adult or at least a surly 18 yr old man-deer. What was I talking about??
O Right! The message... ok quick story, back in college we watched Rudolf's Holiday special and one of my friends (hey Casey) sang the "Misfit Song" incorrectly and I (being so incredibly sweet and Awesome) corrected him. And he finished the line with "Why is Nicolle such a dipshit...?" (A question for the ages, I am sure). In any case, that was my nickname up at dear old WPC with a few of my friends... Some of which still call me that on occasion (Hey Tyler). SO anyway, I am so like Rudolf... I don't know what part of me is the "red-nose" and all, but all I know is that I have come to terms with me. Enough so that I don't hate me... or the mirror me either. And I like totes Saved Xmas one year... I lit the way with my giant headlights (read as boobs).
Gaining that kind of inner acceptance is key to Sexy, Holiday or not... Quite frankly self-loathing is the biggest issue I hear from people, especially those who use to be totes HOTT. They used to be Awesome and Sexy- and well babies, aging, too many Carbs, etc has rendered their youthful Sexy useless... I'm sorry for your loss of Teenage Sexy, but quit your crying and save yourself some inner Xmas like Rudolf. Life is nothing if not totally unfair. Sexy is not something you buy at age 5 and get like the extended warranty and everything is fine forever. And if something changes (ie your body stretched in crazy ways to deposit a tiny life into a bassinet), you need to deal. Not terribly compassionate, but whatever, I've been lugging around extra weight for like 32 years. One day you have to look at yourself and say "Um, really... This is me and it's ok." You don't believe me, but it will save your life (and possibly your marriage and your job).
Look Rudolf ran away because people were like "Damn check out your crazy ass nose!!!" That's a chicken's (and apparently reindeer's) way out, not a revolutionary. We love you here. So find something remarkable about yourself physically and shine like that freak's nose. Shine your light on us all!! No Really... Do it. And maybe you'll discover not only is your hotness totes still there, but like even better cause your boobs are bigger or if you are a guy, you can bench press a car (whereas before you looked like a string bean with a head and thus could not lift a string bean, let alone a car). God a guy lifting a car is really Sexy. I am so with Robyn on HIMYM about the whole violence being Sexy. Um... right- Get your Sexy together people- especially those of you wondering where has all the Sexy gone- it's right there. Like a red-nose reindeer... and like if you revolt now- you'll go down in history too (like Columbus not freaking George Washington)
Sexy Holiday Tip # 543: It's cute to wear a hat and scarf when out in the cold with your rosy cheeks and snow ball fights. It is not cute to wear a scarf indoors ala JT. You look like a tool. Stop it.
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