Sexy '08: A New Year's Revolution!

Nikki Illinois...

2009-02-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder that if you haven't hit up the new blog with all it's awesomeness...

www.nikki-illinois.blogspot.com

I'm just sayin'

NI

The Evolution Continues

2009-01-02T10:33:00.002-05:00

Nikki-Illinois: The Evolution Continues... I undress my mind and dare you to follow.

Sexy 08: A New Year's Revolution!!!!

2008-12-31T11:09:00.008-05:00

End of the Blog Extravaganza!!!! What did Sexy 08 mean to you???? Some of our Readers shared their thoughts…

Trish: The Sexy 08 blog keeps me young as I love to read Nicolle's writing style and opinions. I enjoyed being Sexy Person Of The Week- it made my week!

Gracie: The Sexy 08 is blatantly the best blog on the net for sexy cats like me.

Urvi: Made me more confident about myself. I was self-conscious, and now I really don’t care what people think of me because as you always point what sexy is what you are and how you portray yourself…

Kristin: Sexy 'O8 gave everyone a little something to get excited about - a little spark to break up the routines and demands that are countersexy. Even just bringing up the word "sexy" puts a little pizazz into your day. Thanks for recognizing our sexiness and for bringing in out in all of us. We love you! Sexy New Year!

Paul: It led to more sexy times. Comfort Inn, nuf said.

Mom: On those occasions I have ventured into Sexy08, I have been very impressed with the depth of your introspection. (kinda scary) I have also been amused because I was supposed to be (Maurice's columns and Michelle's comments). I still feel like I'm intruding on your privacy - like reading your diary. This is not a feeling I like.

NIK: Response (he thinks he’s funny)

Michelle: Ummm...okay...I do not really know how sexy08 influenced my life, other than to say that it made it more fun. I really enjoyed reading the blog on a daily basis, M-F, and it always gave me a little boost of energy. That energy sometimes came in the form of a laugh or a giggle. And sometimes that energy came from the recognition that I am related to one very sexy and very creative and very talented individual (2--if you count Maurice's HILARIOUS guest-blog). And so I would like to this time and space to thank Nicolle (one incredible sister) and Curt (one witty and wonderful friend) and everyone else (guest-bloggers, SPOTW, and commenters) for making my 2008 more fun, more enjoyable, more pleasurable--and, therefore, more sexy.

Nick: I didn't even read it, but congratulations!

Sammi: Congrats on making it a whole blog year!

SAMBLER: In comparing my husband to Bret Michaels I have realized how happy I am that Alan still has all his hair-and no guyliner yet

Jess: It certainly made me rethink my definition of sexy and I've even started to redefine my own sexy self.

Heather: Sexy 08' has been an inspiration to me to start my own journey into sexy 09' or whatever the catch phrase will be.. i'm very proud of you nicolle for putting yourself all out there and for writing as you do,,,i loved being sexy person of the week,,my one shining moment!!! I think that you are a fantastic writer and an awesome person and i hope HOPE that you continue this journey into 09' cause i think that it has really suited you,,i love you my friend and i think that you are the greatest friend i will ever have...keep on livin life as honest as you do ;)

Neeka: i need more sexy in my life!!!! oh and i got engaged!!!! that's damn sexy!

Sexy 08… I made this random decision to try and lose weight back in April of 2007. I was still getting over TDWBR-OS and I felt like ok, I’m ready to finally tackle this monstrosity of insecurity and get myself some Sexy. Well actually, Curt and I joked around for-ever about Sexy 08. “O we are totally (pre-totes) gonna be SOOO Sexy in 2008!!!” You know, just a passing ha ha on the phone, until one day… after reading Mel Evans blog (Back when it was on myspace and at the time the only blog I ever read), I said to Curt (again over the phone cause he lives far away people)- “I think I’m going to start writing a blog about losing weight .” His immediate response was “Go to Blogger, create a blog… we will both write about Sexy 08.” And I did… And we wrote… And it became what it is… And thus a Revolution was born! It’s not like you know defeating the Nazi’s or beating the South in the Civil War… BUT it’s still pretty cool and fun in it’s own right.

I have to say, though, this blog has been really like a constant reminder that I made a promise not only to you guys to work on my Sexy every day, but to myself about not giving up and going back to where I was before… How many times have we let ourselves down? Obviously, if you are working on being the Sexiest, Best Person you are… you’ve done it at least once. I’m camp champ at it, quite frankly- BUT not this time. Sexy 08 (or Sexy ForEva now) was not always easy… And you (you being like me and all you guys and Curt) did fall down, you did suffer strategic loses in battle (did not get skinny enough for that big event), you were upset that life still dared to lob shitty relationship grenades at you… All of that did and will still happen because life is unfair and hard and whatever… But you know what?? The biggest Lesson to learn from this blog and yourself is this: You control your own Awesome and Sexy Destiny. When you let yourself down… when you don’t take the Sexy Adventurous Leap sometimes, you lose. And so does Sexy. And well, we all know Sexy doesn’t like to take a hit. Don’t do yourself and Sexy dirty by giving up… Work out, eat better, wear top tier outfits… sing with a band (regardless of ability), dance like a crazy person… essentially LIVE your LIFE to the absolute Sexiest. People notice, believe me.

So now what? Where do we go from here. Sexy 08, the year is over… but the concept still beats pretty strongly in my heaving ample bosoms. I am not done evolving or revolting against the insecurities within… And from what I’ve heard, neither are any of you… SO because I love writing to see myself in print here on the Internets and because I can’t imagine that I can stop until I am as Sexy as possible (look out world if you thought this was a CrazySexyCool Year- you got a couple thinks comin’) or until I start dating Bobby P (really I couldn’t let the last blog go without him)- I will continue the struggle… for you, for me… for Sexy. Because like Killer said at my hs graduation in 1994 “every end is a new beginning…” and that’s totes true, my Sexies… So until next year… Be Sexy and Awesome.

WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
Happy Sexy 2009 to ALL!!!!!!

Gearing up your Sexy for 2009

2008-12-30T11:18:00.005-05:00

It is the end of an era of sorts... Sexy 08 is almost to a close. Tomorrow is the final day of 2008 and one of my (and hopefully your) most Sexy years ever! But where does that leave us? Is the Sexy Awesome journey over? Hardly my dear readers (revolutionaries, generally Spanktastic people)- we are still going strong, working on ourselves and carrying on to be the best Nicolle's and Curt's and you guys we can be. I promise that in 2009, I will definitely still be out here on the blog-o-sphere writing about my constant struggles to figure out what and who I'm supposed to be... Things will change because life does and we all need to know how to "roll with it" and there will be a new blog to get all familiar with... (The Big Reveal SOON)... but it will still be me and occasionally Charlemagne and sometimes any one of you who wishes to tell a tale of love, a cautionary tale, a silly tale or just spread your ever lovin' opinion... Sexy 08 is a great community and I am so glad that we've shared a year and a quarter together... Of course it will continue... life does (according to Moofasa "ie circle of life") and so will our Sexy... Plus like New Moon is coming out next year and I totes have to keep ya'll in the loop about it and Bobby P (jk, jk... no I'm not)

So check in tomorrow- for our final Sexy 08 Blog... It's got goodies galore and good Sexy stuff... and some "final" thoughts from Charlemagne and myself... An End Year's Extravaganza- to be sure!

2008-12-29T16:35:00.002-05:00

My bf totally got a haircut for Xmas... Still so Sexy!

I'd write more, but I am literally dying of some kind of influenza (though not the Spanish one like Edward Cullen)... more like you know a flu outbreak ala Oregon Trail and we crossed the mighty Mississipp and now I've got the chills (they're multiplying) and I'm congested... yada yada. And delirious.

In any case, I've missed you my Sexies... And as we wind down this Sexy Sexy Sexy year, please let us know how Sexy 08 has affected/impacted/made love to your life this year... Email us... thesexy2008@gmail.com and look for our FINAL ENTRY at Sexy 08 on December 31st 2008- from both Charlemagne (yea I know, he's gonna grace us with his Awesomeness) and myself...

So... go be Sexy in the name of me since I am gross and coughing up a lung.

NEW YEAR's Eve Tip: Don't be lazy, make it special.

Happy Sexy Christmas to All!!

2008-12-24T12:56:00.002-05:00

Wishing you and yours a very Merry and Sexy Xmas today and tomorrow... Have fun, be awesome, and most importantly bring your A Game of Sexy!!!

Love, Nikki Illinois and Charlemagne!!!

Happy Sexy Holidays

2008-12-19T15:08:00.001-05:00

Happy Holidays from Sexy 08... I am off to my parents... nothing new to report. I may blog next week- especially if it is anything like my week for Thanksgiving...

Have a great and Sexy weekend

Nikki Illinois

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to ever be right. But I'd still like to be Sexy.

2008-12-17T09:15:00.010-05:00

I love myself some Robert Pattinson. This is not a secret. It is not even like a billboard on the side of a relatively deserted road... It is well-known, well documented, and well... ridiculous. (I know it is) And it does make me seem a little insane and maybe, just maybe... it takes some shine off my Sexy. And I'm sorry for that- I'm a little sorry that it may somehow hinder my ability to "snag" a man ultimately and yet, without a real guy around what's the harm in fantasy? What's the harm in loving Bobby P?

I don't know that there is any "real" harm to it. Eventually I will outgrow this tiny fire I walk around with (currently on my key chain) and RP (and Twilight) will become part of the pantheon of hilariously embarrassing things I've enjoyed in my life-time (BTW, did anyone else see Emilio Estevez on Two and a Half Men?!) But right now, I feel silly and yet still hypnotized by him. Maybe it is more dangerous to "crush" as an adult because your expectations of love kind of mold your insanity. Like why a 22 yr old British guy now? Why a dirty, artsy, string-bean of a man-child, when I am like a SuperWoman in my own right? Why does he appeal to me and is this my brain's way (and my heart's way) of saying try something new spazz and maybe reap the Sexy results!

I have never really found "artistic" guys attractive. They are usually a little too sissy poet for me and require a lot of emotional work and are more moody than I am and are totes flaky. In essence, they hit a little too close to home (except I am not FLAKY and I do not abide it!!) and in response, I find myself drawn to uptight lawyer types (gross!) with hidden emotional baggage. So maybe now my brain is all "Change it up!! Do something different, love a new kinda man... Love someone more like you!" And maybe I should listen and use Bobby P as a poster-child (I mean man, poster-man) for what I want out of a guy these days.

Is it Sexy to figure out what works and doesn't work for you, HELLS YES!! Maybe Robert Pattinson and I are not meant to be, maybe he is like a hot-mess and any guys like him can only be good for ONE thing (over and over again), but maybe that's what my brain wants. Or maybe I'll discover that a hott, creative guy who's giggle makes me wet (sorry!) gets that obsessions and emotional vomit and enthusiasm over nothings are what makes life kinda worth living... Maybe I need someone to really understand my Sexy and leave it be instead of laughing to themselves in a condescending way and shaking their heads over my "lovable" insanity. So here's to obsessions and me and you and Charlemagne. Here's to being your Sexy self and not the "wacky" one to his (or her) straight man. You don't want to love a man (or woman) who thinks you are his/her Whimsical Fe/male... You want to love someone who engages every part of you and gets every part. Don't sell yourself short and listen to your head (and heart), even if they are telling you to love a man 10 years younger than you that you will never meet (I kinda did!). It's ok... Sometimes to be Sexy, we all need to take a leap of faith in ourselves.

Sexy Holiday Tip # 517: Create a Sexy Mix Cd for your friends as a cheap and thoughtful gift... but make it Awesome. Pick your favorite tunes that make you happy, sad, feel Sexy, etc. Mix it up as much as possible and who care if you throw some Miley Cyrus on there "7 Things" is a great song!!!

Why being Smart is so damn Sexy...

2008-12-16T09:53:00.008-05:00

I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm like smart. No, really. All my Twilight readin', Bobby P lovin', superhero worshipin' extras not withstanding- I am intelligent. I know sometimes we "dumb" it down here at Sexy 08 for entertainment purposes, but Charlemagne (ahem that name alone pretty much sums it up, I think) and I are definitely people who believe in the power and Sexy of the brain. I hope there aren't people out there who don't appreciate a huge cranium... I mean like a ginormous frontal lobe is totes hott.

So why is being Smart like one of the major keys to being Sexy? Um because you know things. What things, you may ask? Any things, like both trivial and important. Whether you are super into politics, history, cinema, music, pop-culture, books, etc... (Twilight and Robert Pattinson)you are always in the know about something and can add to any conversation. And being smart, most of the time, helps with being witty and hilarious. I should know, I am witty Nicolle (for reals people actually called me this). I think my intelligence is one of two defining characteristics I have... (no, the other is not my boobs)- my intelligence and my sense of humor- these are the source of a lot of my confidence... and thus a lot of my Sexy. That other little part is my hair (I have great hair).

Now it's true, being smart wasn't always seen as Sexy. In high school, we honors kids were kinda mocked a little. I mean nerdy types actually caring about grades and like what stratus cloud looks like and how many rings Saturn has... But now, it's like trendy to wear glasses (Hey Tina Fey) and know about Sciencey stuff (going Green!) and knowing the difference between your and you're... that's all important and Sexy. Because let's face it- if you can't write a sentence in this day and age- and all your emails or blogs read like IMs or text messages, you've got problems and everyone thinks you are stupid (like real stupid, like GWB stupid and we all know he's not Sexy). So embrace the inner nerd... the eloquent writer/speaker... the smart, sassy upstart with in. Be Smart... And Strong... And Sexy... Cause um I just totes found out my bf loves himself a Smart, Strong-personalitied, tiny bit crazy, older woman and well, if there was ever a reason for me to believe we belonged together... it is now and it is Sexy.

Sexy Holiday Tip #1492: Wow your friends and family at your Holiday Extravaganza's with your worldly and Sexy knowledge. Read a classic this Holiday Season or learn all about a new topic (why not give meteorology a try!?). You'll be amazin' and Sexy and so very Smart with all your new found info... but don't over due it. No one likes a pretentious know-it-all (ie Hermione Granger).

Office Holiday Party Day

2008-12-15T12:19:00.009-05:00

There is nothing Sexy about combining work and the Holidays. Just try to remain sane and smart and not too inebriated at these kind of functions and you should be ok...

Also- cubicle caroling... it's so catching on this holiday season- bring it to a office space near you.

And if you don't, I don't wanna hear about how lame your office holiday party was... Because I will bring down the house (like Harvey above) with my own rendition of "Santa Baby" - For Reals!!!

Sexy Holiday Tip # 100: Show your co-workers what kind of Sexy Holiday Moxie you got... But like don't get drunk, don't photocopy your ass, and um don't fool around with anyone at the party. So um, yea... like I said show them your Sexy Holiday Mormonism. It's sooooo HOTT, like a high-necked collared shirt and an ankle length skirt... you know like temperature hot- cause of all the clothing.

Happy Sexy Friday Afternoon

2008-12-12T16:19:00.007-05:00

Wishing you all A Happy Sexy Friday Afternoon

Sexy Holiday Tip #14: A little scruff is Sexy on every guy in the Winter Months. A lot of scruff is Sexy only on Bobby P all the time. Words to live by.

Why Am I Such A Misft: Rudolf's Sexy Redemption Story

2008-12-11T11:48:00.008-05:00

I really am tapping all the holiday stuff this year... And how can Sexy 08 not get into the "Coming (ha) of Sexy" Story that is Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer? I mean, it is clearly detailing how this awkward, unSexy buck got his Sexy & Awesome on, saved the girl, got his friend a job as a dentist, and Saved Mo-Foing Xmas. Hello- Sexy 08- totes. It's hard like eggs ya'll to get that kind of mad handle on your life and Rudolf did it in like the span of I guess a year? I don't know the life cycle of reindeer- but he totes gets antlers by the end of the story so I assume he's like an adult or at least a surly 18 yr old man-deer. What was I talking about??

O Right! The message... ok quick story, back in college we watched Rudolf's Holiday special and one of my friends (hey Casey) sang the "Misfit Song" incorrectly and I (being so incredibly sweet and Awesome) corrected him. And he finished the line with "Why is Nicolle such a dipshit...?" (A question for the ages, I am sure). In any case, that was my nickname up at dear old WPC with a few of my friends... Some of which still call me that on occasion (Hey Tyler). SO anyway, I am so like Rudolf... I don't know what part of me is the "red-nose" and all, but all I know is that I have come to terms with me. Enough so that I don't hate me... or the mirror me either. And I like totes Saved Xmas one year... I lit the way with my giant headlights (read as boobs).

Gaining that kind of inner acceptance is key to Sexy, Holiday or not... Quite frankly self-loathing is the biggest issue I hear from people, especially those who use to be totes HOTT. They used to be Awesome and Sexy- and well babies, aging, too many Carbs, etc has rendered their youthful Sexy useless... I'm sorry for your loss of Teenage Sexy, but quit your crying and save yourself some inner Xmas like Rudolf. Life is nothing if not totally unfair. Sexy is not something you buy at age 5 and get like the extended warranty and everything is fine forever. And if something changes (ie your body stretched in crazy ways to deposit a tiny life into a bassinet), you need to deal. Not terribly compassionate, but whatever, I've been lugging around extra weight for like 32 years. One day you have to look at yourself and say "Um, really... This is me and it's ok." You don't believe me, but it will save your life (and possibly your marriage and your job).

Look Rudolf ran away because people were like "Damn check out your crazy ass nose!!!" That's a chicken's (and apparently reindeer's) way out, not a revolutionary. We love you here. So find something remarkable about yourself physically and shine like that freak's nose. Shine your light on us all!! No Really... Do it. And maybe you'll discover not only is your hotness totes still there, but like even better cause your boobs are bigger or if you are a guy, you can bench press a car (whereas before you looked like a string bean with a head and thus could not lift a string bean, let alone a car). God a guy lifting a car is really Sexy. I am so with Robyn on HIMYM about the whole violence being Sexy. Um... right- Get your Sexy together people- especially those of you wondering where has all the Sexy gone- it's right there. Like a red-nose reindeer... and like if you revolt now- you'll go down in history too (like Columbus not freaking George Washington)

Sexy Holiday Tip # 543: It's cute to wear a hat and scarf when out in the cold with your rosy cheeks and snow ball fights. It is not cute to wear a scarf indoors ala JT. You look like a tool. Stop it.

All I want for Xmas: A Nikki Illinois Wish List for 2009!

2008-12-10T12:13:00.009-05:00

I love doing these Holiday themed blogs... Can you guys tell? In any case, it's time to start talking 2009, my friends. Sexy 08 is ending... so what does that leave us to look forward to in 2009?? What will Charlemagne and I do without this blog??? What do you hope to personally and blogfully accomplish... well read on. And let us know what some of your hopes for the new and even more Awesome 2009 are!!!

1. I want to go on a Sexy Vacation to somewhere other than Cincinnati, Chicago, and Maine. Perhaps the Caribbean or Spain or ENGLAND. Where-ever, I just want to you know go somewhere Awesome in 2009 and have Sex there.

2. I want to write a book. I mean it- I really really want to write a novel of some kind. All this blogging has really helped me come to terms with my desire to create... Maybe I will complete one and share with you all. Maybe I won't. I just want to write.

3. I want a dog. A puppy. A dachshund puppy of my own and name it Simon. I have a puppy itch and I don't know if I will make it much longer without one. It would be a big life decision. 2009 might be the year I do it. O gosh, look at how cute they are!!!!

4. Love. I'd like to fall in love. And not just with my bf (below) Robert Pattinson and fictional characters like Edward Cullen... I mean like actual love with a real man with real sex (I love you Edward my vibrator but really- I want to make out) and real like feelings. I know, crazy talk, BUT the psychic this summer did say this January I would meet a tan man and we would fall in love... So here's to love- may it finally happen to me. Like for real, and good, and with a down right hottie. (maybe Rob... I mean why not?)

5. I'm starting a new blog. I hadn't mentioned it before but why not now. Sexy 08 will be winding down and I will be starting my own official blog on January 1st. Charlemagne will occasionally (from time to time) guest blog... as will my sister, brother, and anyone who wants to... I haven't named it yet, but I am taking suggestions right now... so just keep it in mind... 2009 is right around the corner and this life doesn't stop for no one.

Sexy Holiday Tip #1: Look your MOTHER FREAKING BEST at any and all Holiday Gatherings this season! Do not drop the Sexy ball... This is the time to SHINE. FOR REAL

You Mean you Forgot Cranberries too?: A Sexy 08 Expose on Lovin' At the Holidays.

2008-12-09T10:00:00.010-05:00

I'd like to say I didn't intentionally put a BONES picture up (ok, it wasn't like a mistake or anything), but when I googled kissing under the mistletoe... there they were- DB and ED. How could I not? So even the internet knows what's good for it. In any case, as this is the time of year when people are prone to feeling less than Sexy because they are single, I figured it was time for Sexy 08 to expose the truth about hooking up at the holidays. The sometimes Sexy, always silly, burden of being alone when Jolly Old St. Nick drops by... Why do we let the joy of the season become so painful? Does a sig nif really add to the most happiest time of the year? Sexy 08, and mostly Nikki Illinois, want to uncover the truth about this most horrible of seasonal afflictions- "All I want for Xmas is you" itus.

Admittedly, I don't have this ailment, well I used to not have it. I never felt like having a man around at this time of year would somehow enhance it. I'm very busy and the idea of cramming someone else's friends and fam into the picture actually gives me a wee bit of agita. So no, I don't cringe when I don't get that $5,000 engagement ring under the tree and I don't cry myself to sleep New Year's Eve because no one slid their tongue down my throat... It's not only been the Hap, Happiest Time of the year for me, it has been the down right ment, mentally healthiest too. Well except... except that lately I dream about getting a soft, sweet kiss under the mistletoe. Sappy, I know. But doesn't that sound really nice? O Robert Pattinson, it's happening to me. Get outta my head! DAMN IT!!

So now I know why I love those dumb Xmas songs like "All I want for Christmas is you" and "Christmas Wrapping". And why I love ABC Family's 25 days of Romantic Christmas Drivel so much!!!? I'm getting the disease! But I can't let it control me and neither can you guys! So yes the appealing tale of "Say it's that guy I've been chasing all year" suddenly appearing at the Supermarket only to discover "You mean you forgot cranberries too?!" and having it all end happily ever after is a nice idea. A really nice one... Wouldn't that kind of Awesomeness be totally Awesome? O No, I mean- We are a strong, Sexy group and we don't need to think that over glorified berry side-dishes have anything to do with finding true love. And making out with the British Prime Minister at your old elementary school will most likely not happen either. Maybe.

So... what am I going to do now? I don't have a bf, well except for Bobby P, and he's really busy promoting Twilight these days in Europa. And obviously I haven't been really chasing any guys all year- any real ones anyway. How can I turn my holiday season into a charming Christmas hit or "Have a Holly Jolly Sexy-mas"? O wait, I'm supposed to be telling you none of that is necessary. Well you know what, when you feel it is time to find someone... when that itch gets so unbearable, don't think that Sexy 08 isn't right behind you supporting you. We want our readers (and our co-revs) to be as Sexy and Happy as possible. So if you get some kind of Love Actually Pox- embrace it. I mean don't curl up in a ball under the Christmas tree crying because you didn't have some lame cardboard cut-out man (or woman) to parade around the holiday festivities... I mean let the actual magic of the season work for you and your Sexy. If you find something/one special, make sure you make it count. And just so I can live vicariously a little, maybe get a few really good snogs under the mistletoe for me. Seriously, what a wonderful time of the year.

Sexy Holiday Tip #4: On New Year's Eve... make it about the fun. Not about the Mid-night Drunk Ass kiss with a stranger... unless he's totally hott or in my case... Robert Pattinson.

Step into Sexy...

2008-12-08T14:33:00.006-05:00

(Nikki Illinois and Wing it- Anthony and Alan)

Grab yourself some Sexy... Or a microphone at a bar and let 'er rip. Go have a Sexy Adventure this holiday season. And Step into Sexy and/or Christmas.

(Charlemagne and the Basic 8 getting Holiday Sexy...
Step Into Christmas)

What do you do to Sexify your Weekend??

Sexiest Person of the Week: My ABC Family Holiday Movie Character!!!

2008-12-05T10:16:00.011-05:00

Happy Belated Birthday to SexiBear and Trish!!!!
Dec 4th all the way ladies!

O Glorious Friday, thank you for returning. I'm a little sick again (thanks Langlois' of the greater Maine area) and today marks a rather stinky anniversary in my life so I got to thinking... Who's the Sexiest Person I know these days?? O that's me (and me- o hey) BUT OOO boy was I not so Sexy two years ago (stupid shiny CRV owner). SO, whilst I was thinking, I had an epiphany (I have these a lot)... There should totes be a ABC Family Holiday Spectacular (during the 25 days of Christmas, smack dab between "Twice Upon a Christmas" and That Melissa Joan Hart/AC Slater one- obviously) about me and my journey from washed up "has been" to Sexy hottie and revolutionary. So get on board the silly train folks... I've been doping up all week on Nyquil and I've got a pretty good caffeine buzz going right now. SPotW- ME (as an ABC Family Holiday movie character about Sexy... as played by TV's Emily Deschanel)!

I met with Emily Deschanel on the set of the ABC Family Holiday Movie "Have a Holly, Jolly Sex-mas" based on my life and Sexy journey. They had just finished shooting a tumultuous and emotional scene where "I" throw TDWBR-OS out of my dingy, studio, basement apartment (though still happily decorated in holiday trimmings). ED and I grabbed a scone and a coffee and discussed my Sexy and what it was like becoming me and the Sexy Journey we all go through.

ME: You, I mean... ME... I mean, US... We are SPotW. Aren't you excited?? BTW, this is much nicer than my actual apartment was.

ED: I am so honored to be playing you. You are an inspiration to all of us. All of us on the planet I mean. But really, this is nicer- cause I was like "wow we are really hamming this crappy part up, huh?"

ME: Yea, I was so unSexy for someone so beautiful and so was my apartment, for reals. Anyway, what was it like playing "unSexy" Nicolle?

ED: Well when I got the part, I totally researched you on the internets. There is a lot of info out there if you are trying to become Sexy Nicolle, but not a lot about unSexy Nicolle. So I took what I could from your MySpace page.... your likes and dislikes and listened to a lot of Indigo Girls and watched a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At first, I thought you might be a lesbian and/or a vampire, but then someone told me you are just really weird. I also watched a lot of Janeane Garofolo movies and comedy specials and I found something there. So I made this Janeane Garofolo/Buffy/Lilith Fair blend of a character for you and I think it works!

ME: It totes does. From the scene I just saw you had unSexy Nicolle down to a science. Though when you put "me" that way, I sound like such a weirdo. Speaking of weirdos, what was the most Sexy thing that's happened during filming?

ED: The Most Sexy... Gosh, that's hard. (that's what she said). HA HA HA, no I kid. Um the most Sexy thing would be the special moment at the end... Wait, I don't want to spoil your fans...

ME: SPOIL Away!

ED: Ok, the end scene where you, me, us finally get together with that guy we've been chasing all year. Or as it turns out, he's been chasing us too and we meet under the mistletoe and kiss at a mutual friend's Holiday Party. We (you and me) are all tinsled up and he just sweeps in because he can't control himself anymore and wham. Having put myself in your shoes for so long, I was totally overwhelmed by the power of Sexy 08 and how much it can change your life. That was soo Sexy... making your, Nikki Illinois', Sexy dreams come true- by far the Sexiest Moment of filming so far. PS: Two Words... TOM WELLING

ME: I think I'm tearing up. I can't wait to see that. Is Tom still here? O anyway, how do you think "Have a Holly Jolly Sex-mas" compares to other Holiday movies about being the Sexiest Person you can be?

ED: It's definitely got the market cornered. It has all the fun of traditional ABC Family Holiday Movies- BUT it offers you so much more. There is so much sexual innuendo about holiday stuff AND we even snuck in an implied masturbation scene- just because it was you. I felt so naughty sometimes being Nicolle, Sexy 08 Co-Revolutionary... But I really wanted the ABC Family audience to see what it was like to really become Sexy and obviously being in touch with your sexuality has been a big part of your journey and inner revolution. So it's not really for the kiddies, I guess.

ME: I love how seriously you took this role... cause it's about me and well I am important. What part of me is the Sexiest to play?

ED: That's a great question! I loved being Post-Sexy 08 Nicolle. It's like this epilogue future part where TW and I are off in our new place, with a puppy named Simon, and we are decorating for the holidays and it's so Sexy to be your newly Sexified, confident you with all the things you needed to complete your life... that and your obsession with Robert Pattinson, that's so fun and Sexy to play. Plus you curse like a trucker sometimes... and that fetish you have... sheesh, you are outta control!!

ME: Ok, enough about that. Ok Last Question... What do you think is the Sexiest Holiday Song and Why? Or I guess you as me... what do you think Nikki Illinois' favorite Sexiest Holiday song is??

ED: Let me answer this as all three Nicolles I play... Pre-Sexy (cause unSexy is just not true) Nicolle loved "Last Christmas" made famous by George Michael... Sexy 08 Revolutionary Nicolle Loves "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses... And Totally Sexified Nicolle will love "All I want for Christmas is You."

ME: Wow. It has really been great talking to you. And might I add, you look not so bad in a "fat-suit" or more like a bulky sweater, I guess. Not a big budget huh?

ED: Yea, the make up artist was like you either look super hott at the end when you hook up with TW OR you get a fat suit... So we went bulky sweater and glasses.

ME: Is there a make over scene...? I heart those. Do I get contacts? And like a new hair cut and what not? Is there a petite montage??

ED: You know it!!! We film tomorrow. Come by!

ME: I will be there. Well, I've gotta jet. I have to call my agent about the book deal and you know all that jazz. Thanks again ED, and give David Boreanaz my love!

Sexy Holiday Tip # 82: Watch ABC Family 25 Days of Christmas at least once. It's hilarious cheesy fun!

Sexy Holiday Tip # 999: Create a Tiny Sexy Holiday Town

2008-12-04T10:22:00.007-05:00

My mom is a Sexy lady... We've proven that 100 times over on here... What you didn't know is that My mom, Anne, loves herself some holiday cheer. Cheer in the form of tiny Sexy Holiday villages, specifically of the New England Variety... So please, enjoy some of these pics (the two I found) and I hope they inspire you to create your own Holiday Lovin' Sexytown, USA (or whatever country you live in). Make the Holidays both Sexy and Bright... and tiny. (Just don't raise the taxes on your fake townspeople, they don't like that. They also don't like Toll hikes either- Damn you GSP!!!!)

O and go see Twilight... either for the first time or again. I have seen it 5 times and I am already planning my sixth. It is a time-honored Holiday tradition... making me happy. Plus hello... He is totes worth it. (Hey Bobby P, Happy Christmas- that's how they say it in England and they call a vagina a fanny... Ha, Love it!)

Top 5 Sexiest Holiday Songs!

2008-12-03T09:42:00.009-05:00

I can't believe we never did this one last year... I guess we were so hyped up at that point and had so many ideas, this brilliant one got sidetracked for more serious Sexy helping fare!!! Can you believe there was anything more important than this list? No, it is hard to believe. Sometimes we take ourselves too Seriously here... (ha ha) In any case, here are my top five Sexiest Holiday Songs!!! What are some of yours?

1. All I Want For Xmas is You: Now I don't like Mariah Carey at all, but boy howdy do I love this song, a lot. First of all, it's in that movie starring Sexy English Guy Hugh Grant (btw, why do I always say Grant when I want to say Jackman?)... you know with Sexy Kiera Knightly and all that Love stuff... O now I remember the name- Love Actually. I like this movie. I think it's sweet. I make no apologies for wanting to find true love while working for the British Prime Minister. And I think all the weird Sex going on is Sexy. Good for Alan Rickman for getting his Old British Ass some tail and then even better for Emma Thompson giving him hell for it. Anyway, AIWFCIY is a really fun Sexy song that gets my holiday spirits soaring and o look Mariah's like practically naked in the video... Don't believe me, Youtube it. In any case, this song always puts me in the mood... the Sexy Mood... the Sexy Holiday Mood.

2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (B Springsteen): Now the more traditional version of this song is kind of stupid. Zoey Deschanel just sang it to me (and anyone else watching ELF) last night and it was pleasant but forgettable. Now, you all know I love myself some of the Jovi (that's the kind of Jersey girl I am), but the Boss' very Sexy rockin' version of SCICTT is awesome.... So much so that I frequently forget how the original goes (thanks sister of Bones for reminding me). And I love it when he yells at the crowd about how there aren't that many people who have been nice..."Not many, not many" And he mentions the Boardwalk. I live on the Jersey Shore people and this is like our Christmas Anthem. Plus I like all the Yea Yea Yea's at the end. This is one time where the Boss beat the Bon Jovi... so far Jon hasn't recorded any Xmas songs as memorable as that one... Sorry Babe!

3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: This song is all naughty... and that's very Sexy. I mean why is the Daddy dressed up as Santa... Sure you could argue that the parents were really into keeping the Santa illusion alive, but where I'd like to go with it... (Can you guess by now??? O give it a shot. I'll pause for second so you can conjure up some twisted ideas) And... ok. Well, I'm thinking that maybe Mommy has a thing for bigger, bearded guys and this is just really really bizarre fetish role playing. And then O NO, your kid totes catches you. But you find out cause he thinks that Mommy's cheating on you with Santa. HA, the embarrassment. But the Sexy night of rolling around in the tinsel was well worth it. I mean dirrrrty. Well played Mommy and Daddy, you're gross perverted weirdos. And you managed to work in a Holiday theme, I salute you!!!

4. O Holy Night (Tracy Chapman): Some could say that her voice is not Sexy. I would say "You are so wrong it hurts me to look at you." I love TC's voice and I especially love it during this song. Silent Night was always my fave traditional Xmas song, but the lilting haunting vocals of this grumbly lady really changed my mind. Sexy singing to me is acoustic guitars and an Awesome voice. Tracy Chapman rocks this one whereas Josh Grobin makes it sound like everything else on the Holiday Planet. TC you are one Sexy Singing Bitch and I love this version. Thanks for making it special.

5. Baby it's Cold Outside: This song is stupid, but funny and hilarious. And every dynamically ridunkulous duo that makes a recording of this song is a little Awesome in my book. Last year, I heard a version by Rob Stewart and Dolly Parton. No really. I mean, on the radio, for everyone to hear it and boy was it funny. And the plot... Holy Moses Jesus (happy bday man) "Honey it's cold outside..." Stay here, have Sex, go home in the morning... Taxis aren't going to come get you. Who cares if people are looking for you... just stay here, have Sex, go home in the morning. TEE HEEEEE SO Awesome and Sexy. I remember Manda and Killer listening to a Barry Manilow version a lot back in the day. Seriously- Hate it so much that I love it.

Honorable Mention for his Sexy Confidence: Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer... LIKE COLUMBUS!!!!!! (not George Washington)

Sexy Holiday Tip #515: Listen to Holiday Music as loudly as possible. Annoy Everyone!!!!! Fall into the Spirit of the Season!!

Sexy Holiday Tip # 2014: Never let them see you sweat (even in that really warm sweater)

2008-12-02T15:08:00.006-05:00

Charlemagne loves himself some sweaters, I do not. But I figured here is a great time to share some hilarious images of Sexy Holiday Sweaters... Tee Hee enjoy!!!

And of course, though it's not really a HOLIDAY Sweater... my bf, back in the day... looking dorkilicious... in his rainbow sweater!!!

Happy Sweaters to All and to All a good wool!!! (it's all non-sensical gibberish these days!!!)

Give the Gift of Sexy this Christmas!

2008-12-01T14:27:00.010-05:00

Hey ya'll!!! Gosh I hope you all had a great, Awesome Sexygiving last week and are ready to really hunker down for a beautiful and Sexy December (November was incredibly Sexy with all the Twilight Hoopla and Bobby P stuff!!). It's almost the end of a remarkable and Sextastic year and Charlemagne and I are preparing for a very quick and jacked-up last month of Sexy 08. What can you do to make sure you really make it count? Read on to Sexy up these last few precious days of the year!!!

I think today I will concentrate on making sure you give the gift of Sexy to everyone you meet this Xmas. How? (Really I expect more from you by now) Honestly, you should try to touch the hearts of everyone you see... HA HA HA (I watched a lot of ABC Family yesterday- so many lame, lame Christmas movies) - Well I mean, make the people around you feel the Sexy inside... (and no I don't mean feel your boobs or cock, I mean... well if that works- go ahead). Like a fresh sprig of mistletoe, stand under the Sexy and let yourself shine and share that confidence with everyone. You might just get that long waited hook-up you've been craving (please?).

What are some common ways to spread the Sexy? Well firstly, walk up to someone you know who is feeling down and say "Wow look at that holiday sweater?! That is so fresh and young! You look great!"- Any kind of compliment like this will be met with an "Awww shucks" kind of response and a huge smile. You don't have to mean your compliments, but spread them around to those who deserve them. What else can get the Sexy word out? How about greeting everyone with a "Sexy Holidays" and a handful of green and red glitter. It will be like you are a Holiday Sprite of some kind. Everyone loves glitter. Well I do and I think it's Sexy. So wham, you'd at least make me feel happy and Sexy if you sprinkled me with it.

Some other fun, fast Sexy ways to make this Holiday season shine are caroling at people's cubicles, bringing in hot, mulled (alcoholic) cider for your office, decorating your office/cubicle with paper snowflakes (shining with glitter- YAY), wearing tight revealing red sweaters that show tons of Nicolleavage (or whatever your name is), enjoying peppermint sticks shaped like dicks, or Christmas Cookies shaped like cocks and boobs etc... Make the Sexy Holiday Season extra special for your friends, co-workers, and even your frenemies (caroling at their cubicles, people... caroling). I love the holidays- especially the Sexy ones!!! (what's an unSexy holiday?)

UPDATE:
I think the Question of the Day Gag has run its course, as I never know if my dear co-rev is going to blog or not (he says he's not- so I guess this is now my blog). So I'm not asking any questions cause it's silly to waste the time to ask myself questions. I'm crazy, but not like that crazy.

So get with the Sexy Holidays- Here they come... only 31 days of Sexy 08 left!!!!!!!!

The Sexies: The People Have Spoken

2008-11-24T03:22:00.014-05:00

Hey y'all...I'm back! Today the readers/supporters/revolutionaries chime in with their own ideas about the year in Sexy.

Sexiest Song of the Year.

"You Can't Stop The Beat." (from Hairspray) always put me in the best mood. I could listen to it at any time and it could totally turn my spirits around. - Brian

"So What" by Pink.... Whenever I feel down or stressed I play this song really loud and dance around. - HiLary

"Piece of Me" by Britney - Jeannie

"When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls. It's really easy to stomp down Belmont in four-inch heeled boots and a flowing wool coat with the beat and motivational lyrics. (I could've easily gone with "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" but that came out after the announcement of the Sexies so I will save that for Sexy '09.) - Kara

"Great DJ" by The Ting Tings - Molly

"Look Before You Cheat" by Carrie Underwood. - Debbiecakes [hey guys, It's me, Curt. I think my mother means "Before He Cheats" right?]

Umm, can I say "Don't Stop the Music" by Rihanna like Nicolle did? I'm really not copying - I just don't listen to the radio enough and it followed me fo' rizzle for my nups. - Sexibear

Sexiest Album of the Year.

The Block by New Kids on the Block. Every track, in one way or another, is about doin' it which is much more appropriate to think about with respect to Donnie Wahlberg now that we're both over 18. - Kara

The new Alanis [Flavors of Entanglement]- even though some of the songs are wacky, some of them are hilariously SEXY - like the tequila song - like wha? Alanis is singing about getting wasted?! Which is why it's so Sexy. - Sexibear

I'm not much an album person. The album I loved was Vampire Weekend's self-titled Vampire Weekend. They've got an interesting sound. It's not something a ton of people have heard, but I guarantee you will eventually have heard of them. I got to see them in Seattle and I have loved them ever since. - Brian

The Bird and The Bee (self titled). - Molly

I listened to the Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen on a regular basis. - HiLary

Magic by Bruce Springsteen - Debbiecakes

Sexiest Movie of the Year.

Well I really loved the new Batman [The Dark Knight.] - HiLary

Sex and the City. - Molly

27 Dresses. There really isn't much you can do to a film with James Marsden and Ed Burns to make it hotter. (Except maybe add Blair Underwood? Oooh, 28 Dresses!) - Kara

Atonement. - Debbiecakes

I don't really watch movies that much .... ummm, I just watched Casino Royale and liked it. - Sexibear

I'll have to go with The Dark Knight. I saw it three times in the theater. I haven't seen a movie in the theater three times since Sister Act! It was also pretty awesome that the lobby of 111 E. Wacker (where I work) was used for multiple scenes like Bruce Wayne's penthouse and the press-conference. It really showcased Chicago, so that is pretty groovy. - Brian

Atonement. - Jeannie

Sexiest TV Show of the Year.

Gossip Girl. - Molly

Now, this is my medium - I have to say two. One, The Daily Show for obvious amazing awesome Jon Stewart and the Gang reasons. And Second, Pushing Daisies - I love this show - from cutie pie boy to cutie pie girl (NPI) to Jim Dale narrating it to her wacky aunts/mom to Kristin Chenoweth as crazy and short. hhhhmmm, i look forward to it every week. - Sexibear

True Blood. True Blood, True Blood, True Blood. It has both the Sexy and the Sex. Gossip Girl is a close second. - Kara

Gossip Girl. Just watch Chuck Bass, and you'll know what I mean. - Brian

My favorite show of the year is John and Kate plus 8 because kids are so darn cute. - HiLary

Mad Men. - Jeannie

Brothers & Sisters. - Debbiecakes

Sexiest Book of the Year.

Twilight, though I haven't had the chance to do my yearly re-read of The Thorn Birds yet (it's a tough call between which is Sexier/creepier -- underage love or against-the-Catholic-church's-vows love). - Kara

Totally. For fun, the Shopaholic series. For serious, In the Woods by Tana French. It drove me wackadoo, but it broke through the mystery genre and became mainstream fiction and for showing that mystery can be enjoyable and well-written, I love it. - Sexibear

It's Not About The Bike.....it's an old book but Lance Armstrong is soooo hot. - HiLary

I read The Time Traveler's Wife. It is not new or anything, so it may not count but it is an amazing book which such an absurd premise. Such a quick read too. I finished it in two weeks. I generally quit reading books after having read 100 pages. - Brian

Twilight. The whole series. Well, maybe not Book 2. - Molly

Sexiest non-Sexy '08 Blog.

Broadsheet - it's my "lady issues" blog (i.e. feminist blog on issues that women should know about around the world) and the writers are funny, serious, rational and help me stay on top of the issues that affect my people. - Sexibear

Dlisted.com, Michael K is hilarious. And his obsession with Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend is downright the main reason to keep on going back! - Brian

Perez Hilton.... I liked the politcal blogs he wrote this year. - HiLary

The Superficial/Geekologie. - Molly

Things I've Bought That I Love. (http://mindyephron.blogspot.com) by Mindy Kaling. She hasn't updated since April but everything she's bought that she loves, I love, plus it's usually super cute, flirty, fun, and Sexy. - Kara

Sexiest Celebrity of the Year.

Tina Fey. Duh. She's fantastic is every way. - Kara

John Hamm. - Jeannie

Anne Hathaway. She kept it going in spite of unSexy trying to bring her down. - Molly

Jennie Garth. I realize this isn't 1993. But 15 years later she has returned to 90210. Only to prove she is the only person, in a cast that is much too large, that she is the one to keep your eye on. She is quite shy in real life and is dedicated to raising her family and making that a priority. She's also married to Peter Facinelli, who plays the father in Twilight, that's got to put her up there on the list, right Nicolle??? - Brian

I think Michael Phelps had a great year. - HiLary

I love Jon Stewart? Oooh, actually my real vote is for Tina Fey b/c she's better at doing Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin and 30 Rock is really funny. - Sexibear

Sexiest Comeback of the Year.

Britney...I mean she always has a comeback. - Jeannie

I think Britney Spears is coming up, y'all. - Molly

The Writers' Guild of America! The year started in a strike and ended in me watching more television than I can ever remember watching (and being sad about not having time to watch other quality program when I wanted to). - Kara

Britney..... Duh. - HiLary

Me! I had a crazy year - studying for, then passing the comp, stomach infection, loss of foot, back surgery, losing a dog, and stabbing myself with scissors - and I'm still Sexy y'all! - Sexibear

Britney Spears is getting her shit together. She has been showing some class. Way to go for her! Of course coming from where she was it isnt hard to make a vast improvement. - Brian

Sexiest Event of the Year.

The rally for Obama on election night. Right as we counted down to California...he was the winner. - Molly

Obama winning was the moment of the year. - HiLary

My wedding, duh! - Sexibear

Voting! Because my Lorain County, Ohio absentee ballot didn't arrive in time, Curt drove me 11-hours round trip to my hometown so that I might cast a (provisional) ballot for my Dems. Sexy AND important. - Kara

Birthdays! - Jeannie

Now for some blog-specific Sexies...

Sexiest Sexy '08 Reader/Commenter.

Robert Pattinson. (He sponsors this blog, right? :-) - Kara

Nicolle's sister [Michelle "Starchild" L-W]. - HiLary

Sexiest Guest Blog.

Hilary's [An unSexy Version of a Sexy City: HiLary on LA]. She and I really speak the same language (or at least I like to think so). - Kara

I'll go with Hilary [An unSexy Version of a Sexy City: HiLary on LA] . - Brian

Sexiest Blog by Curt.

The Five Sexiest Things About Being a Single Dad...because I didn't even know I was an aunt. - HiLary

The Five Sexiest Things About Being a Single Dad. (because my heart warmed over) - Kara

SPotW: The Statue of Liberty. - Debbiecakes

The Six Sexiest People with Whom I Improvise. I just liked it because it was a very warm and touching entry! - Brian

The Josh Groban Fantasy [A Thanksgiving Fantasy...]. - Molly

Sexiest Blog by Nicolle.

The Sexy Skinny on Being Totally Fat. - Jeannie

Now that I've read Twilight, all the Twilight-related ones. - Molly

I've gotta go with Nicolle's Train blog - you know how i feel about the whimsical female [Whimsical Females, or What's Wrong with the Band Train] - Sexibear

The Sexy Skinny on Being Totally Fat. I think it was a super awesome blog entry. I truly loved it! - Brian

El-FABULOUS: Why Idina Menzel Defies Sexy Gravity. (because I love this woman) - Kara

Sexiest Blog-Comedy.

A Thanksgiving Fantasy. (because Josh was such a hilarious dick to Molly) - Kara

The Five Sexiest Things About Being a Single Dad. - Debbiecakes

No shirt, no shoes, no salvation [Sexy is the True Meaning of Christmas]. - HiLary

The Five Sexiest Yankee Candle Scents. - Jeannie

Sexiest Blog-Drama.

The Sexy Skinny on Being Totally Fat. (because Nicolle is just plain awesome) - Kara

The recent one about Prop. 8 [Some Post-Election unSexiness.] - Debbiecakes

The Sexy Skinny on Being Totally Fat. - HiLary

Sexiest Saying of the Year.

I only say "Loving It" because I think I said that during my week I was nominated, and I've been saying it since 2000. - Brian

"Six weeks to Stackhouse," though it's a total write-in as it's not yet appeared on the blog and also only applied for one week since the weeks tick down (and now we're at Five Weeks to Stackhouse?). Anyway I love alliteration and Ryan Kwanten and the fact that Curt is getting hotter in just 8 minutes a day. - Kara

What up? - Debbiecakes

Sexiest Person of the Year.

Mel Evans. She is funny, strong, and I am honored when people confuse me with her. Plus, girlfriend look gooooooood. - Kara

John Anderson. And my mom. - Molly

Hilary Foxworth! - Brian

Mah husband! He's supported me and taken care of me ceaselessly and without need for thanks. And when Murph was sick, he took care of him so amazingly (he's going to be a great dad too!) and when we lost him, he got through it and supported me too. Plus, he's hot, kind, funny and wonderful. - Sexibear

It would be gross for me to pick my brother Bryan, but he was funny. I have to say Paula because she is funny, smart and has amazing style. - HiLary

Curt's wardrobe. - Jeannie

Michelle Obama. - Debbiecakes

Thanks to everyone who participated! It was great to hear your voices.

Twilight: Why it worked, why it didn't.

2008-11-21T08:53:00.007-05:00

I am not posting any pics today. I think I've run out of them and I'm starting to repeat and that's not pretty nor Sexy. In any case, the long and the short of my review of TWILIGHT is this... I loved it, but it has its flaws.

First and foremost, the audience I saw it with sat rapt with attention the second the movie started... Yes there were shrieks of "TWENTY MINUTES... WOOOOO" (Woo girls in training, what up HIMYM) as the countdown progressed... And SAMbler and I (after a lovely dinner where her husband just shook his head at us- mostly me- the whole time), well we didn't want to have to shank any kids, but we were ready to, if need be. No one was interfering with my viewing, no one. And luckily, we didn't need to kill any tweens... luckily.

The movie started and wham it's pulling you through the familiar storyline very quickly. I don't even think we were 10 minutes in and there he was... my bf, Bobby P, Robert Pattinson, Edward Cullen and no one could stop themselves from squealing (including me). And then wham, wham, wham... the pacing was off the whole movie. I felt rushed, I wanted to feel the build up and swoon that you do in the book... but that's a lot of swoon and it's a movie. My problem with the movie lies here, in the choppyness of the story... I know what takes place, I know the background so I loose nothing... but what about those who didn't? Will they even know how much they are supposed to care about any of this? I don't know... or I rather unfortunately say, no they won't.

But was it good? Robert and Kristen and the entire cast made the movie. I loved characters I didn't before... even stupid Jacob! I cared what came out of Eric Yorkie's mouth, really. They did what they could with a strangely abridged script and they really managed to encompass their characters completely, even when they only had two lines. Good Job and especially well played Taylor Lautner... I may like this Jacob guy yet.

Um and what about Bobby P... was he every bit the Edward Cullen in my head and heart. Yes, yes he was. He was insecure and broody and Sexy and handsome and out of his mind in love with Bella and believe me... there are quite a few scenes I will need to watch with my own "edward" and enjoy enjoy enjoy (I mean masturbate, if you don't get it). There is a kiss scene that is so- I mean everyone was like "Woaaaaa... woa..." after. He did it, and I am very proud to be dating someone so Awesome. (ok so we aren't really dating, but a girl can dream). And ok, I loved Kristen Stewart as Bella... there is a scene at the end where the desperation of being in love with EC overwhelms her... like I almost just lost my shit at the end and started crying with her. I don't know what I'm going to do in New Moon... I will be a sobbing mess (PS - if you don't know what I'm talking about, you will)

SO all in all... Loved it. Could it be better, yes... could it be less cheesy... yes... are there moments where I thought, if I didn't love this so much that would have been silly. But all in all, it captured the magic I wanted it to. If you are not a true fan, you might think it's totally lame. To each his own... for me... I fell in love all over again with Edward Cullen and the series.

TONIGHT... TONIGHT... Won't be just any Sexy night...

2008-11-20T09:14:00.006-05:00

I have nothing to add today- just that in less than 15 hours, I will be watching TWILIGHT. I am not reading any reviews. Ok well I read a few and I think that I'm not going to read any more. I don't want to become one of those "Twi-fighters" as my brother, Maurice, so aptly put it. You don't get it- fine. I do. I am the blessed one.

OME- FINALLY!!!! I love it and I'm so UBER excited!!!! HOORAY- and I'm totally totes all about the Sexy of Edward/Robert! YAY!!!!!

Tomorrow- no SPotW... my review, and then... my dears... Next Week I am officially taking off from the blog. I may blog here or there, but I make no promises. I will be back on Monday Dec 1st- just in time for the holiday season.

ALSO- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Former SPOTW - LEENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (one of the Goddesses of Sexy)

This Countdown is Killing Me OR What if it Sucks?

2008-11-19T15:04:00.009-05:00

Do you know what's Sexy... the mounting anticipation of actually seeing a movie you've waited over a year for. Do you know what's not Sexy... the drag of minutes that seem to be snailing by as both the movie and your vacation get ever so slowly closer.

Um, I know you are all tired of Twilight, even those that are excited about it... You are tired of hearing me yammer on nonstop about Robert Pattinson and his Awesome. But really, it's my blog, and I can annoy you if I want. But really, is it that annoying... I'm endearing as all get out, like a tiny adorable puppy making you hold their toy while they leap about and enjoy themselves (awww, I want a puppy). Where was I, o right... like we always say... Confidence in yourself is Sexy. Confidence in this movie is too, then. By all logical standards. (No really)

So there are those out there wondering what I will do if this movie does indeed suck. What will I do if Robert is not an adequate Edward... What will I do if the romance is cooly tepid instead of fantestically on fire? Um... I have faith that I will be happy with this- maybe blindly so. But that's my ridiculous choice kiddies, and I embrace it. My sister (Hey Michelle, are you reading this as of late?) always calls me "a funny girl" almost like I'm her daughter (Sammi and I are totes going to be bff's one day) because I am silly and weird and crazy, like a child in some ways. But again, so what? Maybe it will suck and all of you will think less of my opinions on Sexy World Wide affairs... to those, I say, TOO BAD. I have spent a year living in the Happy Daze of the Twilight World and it's been blissfully distracting. This movie is just another way to distract myself. How many of you wish you had something that made you happy in crazy ways that don't destroy your kidneys... Aha! Well, I've got something that does that- it's ok to envy my insanity. I envy you for your normalcy sometimes.

So go ahead... You can laugh at me, as everyone has this week... You can tell me that Robert was wooden (ha stake, erection... ha ha ha) you can roll your eyes at the cheesy goodness of the "How long have you been 17?"ness of it all. I really don't care. Be a hater. Be a lover. Either way I will continue to lose myself in it and be happy. It's fine. Twilight is my drug of choice these days and Robert, the top shelf liquor if you will. It's ok to be Sexy and silly and enthusiastic. It's ok to be me. And it's surely ok to be Bobby P, these days.

Answer to Question of the Day:
What did I even ask yesterday?? Something about Sexy Shoes? I guess those would be my silver peep toe kitten heels. Wow what a horrible question? Here's a better one. Will Curt write even on blog this week? Only time will tell.

Question for tomorrow:
Did you hear that they are totes firing Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn from Days of Our Lives??? This is insanity and a direct attack against cheese-tastic Sexy Soap Stars. The revolution needs explanations. So what do you think??

Equus Got Under My Skin

2008-11-18T10:03:00.010-05:00

So yesterday, I was not my Sexy self. I apologize. I am feeling much stronger today, angrier, but stronger and well angry and strong are much more Sexy than weak and kitten-y. (Sorry cat lovers...) And so I bring you the blog you should have gotten yesterday... Equus and what it evoked in me...

So yes, Equus is about horses and sex and religion. What? Yes, that's what I said. And yes, DRad (we are bff's now cause I've totes seen him all nakedy) does get all birthday suited up and run about and leap and act all crazy. All true. But I kind of expected that... What I didn't expect was that I would love this play. That it would get under my skin in a good way, that I would over-relate to the sexual spirit of it. I am a weirdo- no lie, but I am also apparently really, really deviant. (I kind of all ready knew that, but you guys really didn't) O well... another cog on the wheel of getting to know Nikki Illinois.

All the actors were very impressive (DRad in particular), but it wasn't even the performances that got to me... it was this idea of secret, sexual, ritual. Dark, secret, sexual, spiritual... ritual that continued to spin in my head long after tiny Pocket Poppet Potter had left his adoring fans (that's two cute British actors in the last month that I've been within 10 ft of- AWESOME). I have a dark, secret, sexual, spiritual, ritual that I take part in frequently enough. I am not afraid to say it exists in side of me (I won't be sharing what it is, but I make no apologies for it). And this play explores where these weird "fetishes" begin... how they can develop, how they enhance and ultimately (maybe) come to control our sexual pleasures, how we hide it from others, how our religious faiths come into play, how we may become ruled by our passions, and how someone can be driven mad by all of it. I was fascinated because of my own "less than vanilla" sexual tastes. The one scene of DRad riding the horse and riding it until he orgasms was just insane and yet, I got it. I got the perversion and excitement and elation and disgust. I have been there, in the night, riding my own horses in secret... Worshipping my own gods, finding my own pleasure.

Will everyone like this play? No. It is abstract and very religious and if you are made uncomfortable by the idea of a 19 yr old boy leaping around naked and poking out the eyes of horses (abstractly so- not really people), don't go see it ever. It's not for you... and that's fine. But it is for me. I'm not one to judge sexual acts. I'm not one to care. I am one for talking, dissecting, partaking in, and experimenting for the sake of passion and enjoyment. I am a heathen and that's fine with me. I just really enjoyed the idea that this crazy person, this boy who can't help himself, his attraction and sexual pull towards horses (his god, his worship), could and should be envied for his passion and fire and light. And that we try to conquer this out of ourselves... to eradicate those fires because they are somehow "wrong." I disagree... I don't want to lose my fire, my passions, my dark secret sexual rituals. I don't want to be cured of it. Not even for love.

So go away from this with whatever you will about me. (PS: I don't condone bestiality ) I'm curious, that I'm open, maybe I'm immoral, that's fine. In my opinion, sexuality is something to be explored... it's something to be embraced (maybe not with horses) but it's not something to bury inside of yourself. Explore, safely, but explore... figure out your passions and fire. Never let them put your fire out... Never let someone turn a hose on you... that is unless that just gets you hotter and ready to go. Now's the time to find your sexual worship.

So on that note, hey 2 days and some change til Twilight, one of many current weirdo passions of mine. Worship at the alter. (I'm kidding, well only a little)

Answer to Question of the Day:
Honey you say? How do I make it Sexy? O that's easy, I lick it off my hand sometimes. And everyone knows licking anything off of anything else is totes Sexy. Somehow being humorous after my blog above seems tacky. Um, honey... it's yummy.

Question to Whomever:
What's your Sexiest Shoe look like?

I can feel so unSexy for someone so beautiful...

2008-11-17T10:10:00.006-05:00

I was going to write about Equus today (I loved it) but that will have to be saved for another time. Maybe tomorrow (if Charlemagne can underwrite, conversely so, I can overwrite... it's all about balance folks.) In any case, I am not writing about Equus today. Today is an unSexy day. Sorry.

I was talking to my dear friends, Killer and K&S this weekend about a certain confusion I frequently have about men. A confusion, if you will, that men do not, in turn, have about me. Now, I've written a great deal about my issues with straight guys on here. Today I write, not so much about those issues, but more about the reality check I got this weekend. Apparently, they really just want to be my friend. Like, full on, no holds bar... friendship. And boy howdy are they ever enthusiastic. Like that non-sexual friend-crush or "frush" you get when you make a new friend. Men "frush" hard on me and because I am a starving person when it comes to sexual affection, I frequently can't handle my liquor (liquor being male attention) and I develop my own crush, but like a real one... complete with those smooshed feelings I'm so very fond of. And I end up totally confused by all their enthusiasm and attention. But this weekend- I finally understood and it hurt and what's more, I hated to finally understand.

I like guys. Straight, Gay, Brother, Friend's Husband... whatever, men are fun. And apparently they love me as well. Awesome, right? Hardly. It's hardly Awesome to realize you are actually one of the guys. I'd suspected it maybe, but I always fully believed that men do not waste that much time with a chick unless deep down there was "something" going on (PS this applies to anyone, not just man/woman relationships). But Killer put it this way "When I met you, I thought Nicolle is SOOO funny. She's so much fun. I just want to spend time with her." She said "That's when I 'fell in love with Nicolle'." She said that to me and retardedly perhaps, it finally sunk in. These guys I'm always so confused about are frushing on me. I'm an asexual beast of some sort with large tits and a sharp tongue. Never has knowing dialogue from the Simpsons and loving action movies seemed so incredibly unSexy to me. Suddenly I can see it, I am love-able. They do actually care about me... and have high regard for my attention and friendship. I am just not seen the way I want to be. I am not a Sexy Female, I am the great friend (which I am), but what happens when that's all you are... When you clearly want more?

Epiphanies are normally inspiring, violent and important, but inspiring. You are shown the truth, are forced to see reality for the first time. Did I need to know and understand this concept? Yes, Most definitely. Do I hate knowing and understanding it? Abso-fucking-lutely. I always questioned why a guy would spend all their time with me. They must "Like" me, right? Yes, they did. They thought I was extraordinary, amazing, funny... which I totally am, and always will be... they just wanted me to be their friend. I feel a little ashamed that I couldn't do that for a handful of them because all I wanted to do was love them. I gave them my heart and it's not that they didn't want it... it was so much more complicated than I ever knew. So today, I feel unSexy. Today I feel heart-broken all over again for scars that are decades old. Today I fear for my future possibly for the first time, for real. I am not alone, but I am lonely today whereas normally I am not lonely, but alone. And for all the "you will find someones" I have heard (and will hear), I find that sentiment so incredibly silly... I have many someones - a herd, a pack, a coven of Nicolle Lovers who I care very real-ly for... and yet... and yet. I stand here today a single lady with many friends. Is that really so bad? Today, it is.

So this is TWILIGHT Countdown week. Romance and adventure and Edward Cullen (and Robert Pattinson) in a just a matter of 3 days time and right now, it's like I don't care. Well I care enough to post a picture, but my heart's not in it. (Ok my heart's in it a little). I suppose I just need to believe in my own RP/EC. That eventually I will figure out how to wield my Awesomeness and make it actually do the things I want it to. But right now, I am questioning all that I am... Fearful that it is too much, that I am too much me for anyone (figuratively, not literally)... That my greatest fear that it's not my weight that's kept them at bay, but actual me. Today is an unSexy day. (But tomorrow, there's always tomorrow... and there is hope in a tomorrow).

Answer to Question of the Day:
What did I ask Curt on Thursday? Eh, it's not important, I'm sure. I'm going to just say that in order to make my Sexy the most unDorky on Thursday night when I go to the mid-night showing of Twilight, I'm going to wear my "Bite Me, official member of the I Love Edward Cullen fan-club" shirt. I bought it after I read the books, before there was a movie. When there was no Bobby P, only Edward. So I feel that sums it up. One upon a time, there was only EC.

Question to Whom-ever writes tomorrow:
What's the Sexiest way to use honey in your every day?

It's Time for TWILIGHT's Sexy Other Star... Kristen Stewart!

2008-11-13T09:19:00.006-05:00

In one week, I will see Twilight, the movie~ that is unless I win some crazy contest (Hey Universe, what's up? You look nice today. O what these flowers and chocolates and gold bars, why they're for you...) where I get to go to the Premiere and meet Bobby P. But mostly likely, I will see it in one week at mid-night, like the spazzy dork I am. And even though I give Twilight and my BF props on here every day, I think it's time I mentioned that there are other actors in the movie. Most specifically, there is Kristen Stewart, playing Bella Swan... the girl that manages to get Edward Cullen wrapped around her jugular and the actress who managed to get my BF to propose to her (many many times apparently). So here she is... Kristen Stewart (try finding a really great pic of her that does not include Bobby P and you will discover that isn't possible).

So why do I like Kristen? It's fair to say at first I was not getting on the KS train to Awesomeville. I had some other actress groping around in my head whenever I pictured Bella and well, KS didn't look like her. So I was kind of "not impressed" - but one day while I was watching.... LIFETIME (not ABC Family, fooled you) I came across a movie starring our little Bella and well I was really blown away... And since then, I'm on board. In fact, I am like a KS pusher for those yet to see the Sexy of her and her very deep voice (we man-voiced ladies gotta stick together). I have no doubt she will pull off the crazy clutzy smitten-kitten with flying colors and that her Sexy will astound you.

Now, I just finished reading the articles in EW over the past weekend and I gotta say KS totally impressed me even more with her general confidence and Awesome power. She is not some "Disney kid" (cough orphan) - she wants to make the most out of all her projects, work her acting mo-jo, and make it something. Twilight could have very easily become a giant cheese-fest (which it still could be if you don't get the power of it), but I have complete faith that I will love it because she took it seriously. Take the material seriously, the fans will love you. Plus, shes like really pretty, but not in a boring kind of like everyone else in Hollywood kind of way (ooo and she's playing a stripper next... FUN). Seriously, she's interesting and smart. She's talented. This is a girl at 18 who is totally in charge of her Sexy. I wish at 32, I was capable of that kind of confidence and Awesome. So Enjoy KS, she is tough as nails and a little shy, but really really spectacular and interesting. And I love her voice. "How long have you been 17?" TEE HEE... ONE WEEK!!

Answer to Question of the Day:
Is wearing a bright Orange football jacket ever Sexy? Yes. I would never wear it. But having the confidence to wear a bright orange football jacket with a pirate like winking at you (O I'm sorry a buccaneer winking at you) is totes like one of the Sexy 08 Ten Commandments (ooo future blog- I call it Charlemagne). Be confident and radiant in that crazy thing. I know it's joyous when irony and Sexy can be fused together. Go Forth and make us all proud.

Question to Curt:
What's the craziest Sexiest thing you've done this year?

It's not blog writer's block when you're writing other stuff...

2008-11-12T20:54:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all, so as the year closes out, I'm afraid you can expect more posts like this. I have just become involved in two exciting writing projects that take a lot of my creative juice. I recently joined together with several former Sexiest People of the Week to form a writing group, heretofore group. We meet on Saturdays to discuss our work and to hold each others creativity accountable. It is important and Sexy work. Also, the very Sexy B8 has just begun the process of writing a show for the late winter/early spring. This will be our first such undertaking together, and I know we're all terribly excited. If my fellow Sexy teammates are anything like me, then their minds are racing with ideas for this potentially awesome show.

I have not forsaken you, my Sexies, but I ask for your patience as one of my most volatile and Sexiest inner departments demands extra attention.

I'll be back on Friday with a SPotW!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
I would arrange to meet that person in a supply closet or media room and bring a large, sharp office implement (such as a letter opener or a big knife to cut birthday cakes) with me. I would shove this person against a filing cabinet and inform him/her that I was the Sexiest person in town and s/he better not thing of usurping me. I have an entire revolution at my disposal, so s/he'd better stay in line.

Question for Nicolle:
I feel like I'm going to wear my vintage Tampa Bay Buccaneers Starter jacket a bit this winter...Sexy or no?

Sometimes being Sexy, is like a J O B.

2008-11-11T08:37:00.008-05:00

As Charlemagne so effortlessly (and I mean like with absolutely no effort) put yesterday (or possibly very early this mornin'), sometimes blogging and being Sexy is not easy. I will tell you that there are days (today possibly one of them) that I have very little to offer the world of Sexy philosophy and thus little to offer all of you dear, dear readers. And that's why being Sexy and co-hosting a revolution can not only be hard, like eggs, but also kinda like having a second job. One that you love, duh... but a J O B none-the-less.

So what then... Do I half-ass it, like I sometimes do my other "real" job? No, absolutely not. Because giving up on you guys and Sexy means I've given up on me (and my own Sexy) and possibly ever getting laid again in my life and that AIN'T happening. Now is the time, when I'm feeling sick and bogged down by keeping the Sexy ball rolling that I have to rally myself and you guys and apparently Charlemagne too. When you feel the excitement of your own Sexy start to slip, this revolution's got some major problems... and I'm not talking about like "Ooops, I had a piece of Cheese-cake" problems. What I'm talking bout is the missing some work outs, eating poorly, not trying to look even remotely human when you go out kinda problems. That is one slippery (and not a fun like Sex slippery) slope right outta Sexytown and back to where-ever you lived before. Let's call it like Hagsville (did Scooby Doo solve some mystery there? Like the "The Case of the Missing Sexy?")

What I want to say is that being Sexy will always be hard work, especially in those areas where we have issues with ourselves. For me, my body will always be something I am going to fight with to be Sexy... a constant struggle, my own Civil War if you will (without all the Patrick Swayze drama or ooo maybe I should have some Swayze drama). You cannot be lazy and Sexy. Ok, you can. But I mean, that's not the way a revolutionary Sexy comes about. Being Sexy is your JOB. It's also my JOB and Charlemagne's now. For all those people out there who have great genes (and jeans) and fast metabolisms and never lift a finger for their Sexy, eventually age and unSexy will catch you and beat you to death. (Or I mean beat your Sexy to death) And for us, the ones who worked at it... who learned to embrace our Sexy attributes (my hair, my smile, my boobs, my sassy) we will be better for it and Sexier and get a better review and a higher raise than our Now-Sexy CounterParts. Believe in us, yourself, and the Sexy 08 movement. We are working hard for all of us, always and remember Effortless Sexy only counts when discussing Bobby P. (less than two weeks to TWILIGHT).

Answer to Question of the day:
Which TV show has the Sexiest storyline? O I don't know. I don't watch the Office or like Brothers and Sisters and apparently anything that normal people watch. For me, I'm just really enjoying HIMYM this year and I've recently gotten into Supernatural. Smallville has been better so far and a little Sexier so maybe that... I don't know. I like TV, but still nothing is Sexier to me than Buffy was... Maybe when I get into TrueBlood when I'm at my parents I will feel that is Sexy, but really right now- my Sexy is concentrating on Bobby P and Twilight. Sorry.

Question to Curt:
When someone at work appears to be stealing your Sexy, undermining your Sexy, if you will... what is the best approach?

I'm Not Going To Force It...

2008-11-11T02:57:00.002-05:00

After a year of blogging...I don't have anything to say about Sexy today...

I will just post a couple of reminders...

Don't forget to sign up for the Turkey Trot if you'll be in Chicago on Thanksgiving. It's a great way to start your Turkey Day off Sexy.

Please vote for the "People's Choice Sexies!" Email Nicolle or me with your choices.

Also...

Check out MSNBC's Keith Olberman taking a passionate stand on behalf of my people.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Call me Goody Foxworth, but I do no think of the celebs I love in terms of their nakedness. That just seems weird to me. So I cannot say that any particular celeb's clothing status would attract me to a play...though I can certainly understand the appeal...it's not appealing to me.

Question for Nicolle:
What's the Sexiest storyline on TV this November Sweeps?

Sexiest Person of the Week: Gypsy

2008-11-07T13:51:00.007-05:00

It's the end of the week, ya'll... But what a week!!! Obama, Bobby P, and the Sexies!!! My Gosh, it's like some kind of Sexy 08 vortex of outta control hottness. And so, as it is tradition, today we have a special SPotW. Today's Sexiest Person is Gypsy. Gypsy and I work together and one day... several months back, we discovered we had strange amounts of things in common. I had already known that we shared a lunch need (and love) of all things low-cal and weighty watchery, but I was to learn on that fateful day that she too studied photo, took German, attended Ramapo College of the Jerz, and enjoyed Internet stalking... all just like me. And we all know I'm totes Sexy. So it was only logical that one day soon after she would be SPotW. I really enjoy Gypsy, and so should you. Love her Sexy. It's remarkable.

I met Gypsy in Berlin, Germany to enjoy some Brot and Spatzel and Kaffee. We took in the sights and sounds of the people, both the melodic German language and the yummy German Food. As we ate our Wienerschnizel and Roladen and drank our Edbeerbowle, we discussed photo, life and, of course... SEXY.

ME: Gypsy, I am so glad you decided to take me up on my SPotW offer. I find you so refreshing.

Gypsy: Really? It sounded like fun. And I've been studying my German so much lately that I figured why not take the opportunity to do an interview there and share my Sexy secrets.

ME: I heart your enthusiasm. So... you studied Photo... What do you think is the Sexiest thing about Photography?

Gypsy: The camera! The color of it, the way it comes in various sizes and shapes, the way it almost reads your mind.

ME: O, I like that reading my mind part. That is sooo true... The manipulation of the "real world" with the camera makes me so happy. You know what else makes me happy, internet stalking Bobby P. Speaking of which, internet stalking is a Sexy pass time for most women, but not men. Why do you think that is and what do you think is the Sexiest thing about it?

Gypsy: Women become more sexy through stalking, we gain our knowledge this way. The sexiest thing is that stalking has endless and hourless possibilities!

ME: It does have endless, hourless possibilities... I like to think of it as like learning at a library about a research topic. You know like my thesis is "So-and-So enjoys this, that, and the other thing." And I have to "research" or stalk them on the Internet to support my theories, you know? Right? Anyway, you march to the beat of your own drummer, a valued trait here at Sexy 08. Why do you think being yourself, no matter how off the "norm" it is, is Sexy?

Gypsy: Truly being yourself is sexy because there is no one else out there like you and if someone is similar I'm probably sexier anyway. =)

ME: We are similar, but not and we are both DAMN Sexy so... the fakers are whatever... speaking of being the same, which is a Sexier name... Sweet potatoes or Yams and why?

Gypsy: Yams, because is has 4 letters like sexy and starts with a "y".

ME: "Y" is a highly under-utilized letter and Sexy has a "Y" and I agree. I mean I'm sure most people would say sweet potatoes... But Sweet is rarely Sexy too. So... If you were writing a romance novel... what would your main characters be like and what would make them THE SEXY?

Gypsy: My main characters would be comparable to Romeo and Juliet, nothing is sexier than dying for true love.

ME: That is so true. Which is probably why I love Twilight so much. God, I can bring almost anything back to that book, can't I?

Gypsy: I hear you and Urvi talking enough about it. What's your thesis on it that you are trying to prove or dis-prove?

ME: Um, that a 32 yr old can totally relate to a YA novel and not be a complete spazz. I'm having difficulty proving this. Whatevs... or Was-evs since we are the Deutschland!

Gypsy: Ja, Ich liebe Die Zietung!

ME: Let's get outta here and enjoy some German fun... Tschus!

Answer to Question of the Day:
There is not a lot of Sexy Chill in the air here lately. But what we did have managed to actually help in me getting sick. I mean it was a little chilly on Monday when I "met" Bobby P and sitting on a cold floor didn't help, but I really can't wait for like shopping for warmer clothes, as all my last year stuff is too big. Sexy 08 really helps when you realize that in just a year all of your previous clothes have become obsolete cause your boobs are so much smaller. (if you have boobs and have lost weight, of course- DUH!)

Question to Curt:
I am going to see Sexy Brit Dan Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) next Saturday be all naked in a play in NYC. What celebrity would you like to see in this manner? You can pick for whatever reason... and no it doesn't have to be this weird horse play.

Some Post-Election unSexiness.

2008-11-07T02:30:00.002-05:00

Nicolle and I have been blogging for a year now, and we have tried very hard to stay on message. Every once in a while though, we digress a bit and end up talking about something other than Sexy or perhaps look at a national issue or phenomenon through the eyes of Sexy.

Now you all know that I have some strong opinions on gay rights (of course) and on gay-ness in the culture, specifically, gay celebrities, etc. But I can find only four times in a year in which I said anything remotely aggressive on the subject: here, here, here and here.

I mention this because on November 5th, a day I should have spent feeling wonderful about the sweeping Obama victory, I spent feeling very sad about yet another round of ballot measures that removed rights for my people (what up Moses!).

Arkansas doesn't want my people adopting children. Well, we don't want your unwanted rednecks anyway. No offense to anyone who lives in Arkansas whose neck is actually red due to a dermatological condition.

Florida (wet heat) and Arizona (dry heat) defined marriage as a union between a man and a woman...and they did it without looking in a dictionary.

But really, do we expect any better from those places? Though Florida went for Obama (hoorah!), it is full of old people, and old people don't even know that 10% of their grand children are gay. They miss the days when Rock Hudson and Dorris Day pretended to be in love, you know, before he died of AIDS. And Arizona, well...just more old people. And Arkansas is a disgusting place. I have been there and shall never return intentionally. The Clintons never went back, did they?

But what hurts real bad...what made my Obama-glow turn dim...is California. I mean, even the Republican Governor did not want to ban gay marriage. But 52% of the people in one of the most liberal places in the US...a place full of godless, sun-loving hedonists...said, you know what gay folks...could you just stop being happy and feeling equal?...we'd like it better that way. By the way, on the same ballot, the people of California happily expanded the rights of chickens. Chickens need more rights; gays need less.

So yeah, it was a bad day. Onwards and upwards.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
One Sexy change I am looking forward to is a president who doesn't make me feel like I'm watching someone struggle in a public speaking class...cuz O...he's got the Sexy confidence needed to stand before a crowd.

Question for Nicolle:
Can you feel that Sexy chill in the air and, if so, what is it doing for you?

Top 5 Sexiest Things about Being Liberal!!

2008-11-05T09:12:00.004-05:00

Hooray and Joy and Awesome!! So in honor of it finally being super cool to be liberal and a democrat in this country... Nikki's Top 5 Sexiest Things about being Liberal!! YAY!!

1. My Mom: Now, my mom gets a lot of play on here for someone who refuses to read the blog... BUT really her Sexy focus on making sure the democratic message is out there in Maine is out-freaking-standing. I never knew my parents were so liberal but really, they are... Anne of North not only supported Hillary, but switched over to Obama to continue the plight of the Dems when they needed her most. She is the head of the York County Democrats in Maine and frequents caucuses and conventions in her state. Can you say the same? And she's 65. What have you done for your country lately? Sexy and informed and making the world better, that's my mom. She's an American Hero and a Sexy Revolutionary for reals. Go Anne!

2. The G A Y: I love that being liberal makes me a sympathetic lover of the Gays. Because I am a lover of the Gays and I have no issue telling all of you that... and I mean, there's nothing Sexier in my opinion than being open-minded, totally in charge of who you are, making the world know it, and telling them to respect you too. In this new Awesome Sexy Liberal environment- let's scare the bejesus outta the conservatives and get some more Sexy states to allow Gay Marriages. BTW, you should know I'm insanely loyal and if you don't think my friends should get married... I'll punch you in the neck. I'm just sayin!

3. We got that Sarah Palin was a Joke: I think it's Sexy as hell that we (liberals) got the joke that was Palin. I mean really with her "Awww Heck!" and "You betcha!" was I really supposed to take her seriously? I mean, I'm sure she's a lovely person just not a lovely VP for the nation. So congrats to us and Tina Fey for getting the joke and laughing at (not with) SP on her VP run. I mean, really... really???!

4.Celebrities: I don't like being associated with celebrities in general because they are rich and vapid and usually very shallow, but I don't mind being lumped in with them when it comes to being Liberals. I mean... yea sure sometimes they go all nutz like Sean Penn (Into the Wild?)- but other times, like Tim Robbins and Leo D, it's kinda cool. So now, I'm like a celebrity... I'm a liberal celebrity. And so it Curt and so are you (if you are liberal) - Isn't that nice? I mean, it's totally Sexy and now we can go to Ivy or some fancy place in Hollywood to eat because we are one. One big happy Liberal Ass family. Yay!!!

5. We Won, finally: The Sexiest reason it's Sexy to be Liberal today is this... WE FINALLY WON! I mean, if Gore was the Gore of now when he ran against W in 2000... maybe things would be different. But he wasn't. And Kerry- I don't even want to talk about. And now- NOW... Now there is Obama. Someone to get excited about. Someone who exudes intelligence. Someone who actually seems presidential. He's Sexy, He's Smart, He's the President-Elect. We Won. We made a Sexy difference. Now it's his turn to revolutionize the country. So today, if you are a Liberal, go forth and revolt and be happy and be totally Sexy. We did it and there ain't nothing Sexier. Except maybe Bobby P.

Question to Curt:
Now that the country is a little more Sexy... What do think will be one of the Sexiest things to change?

VICTORY FOR OBAMA...and AMERICA!

2008-11-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

Sexy '08 is thrilled with the outcome of the 2008 Presidential Election! It's important to acknowledge a few Sexy folk we know who helped in this great cause. So, we wish a special thanks to our Sexy friends HRH The Queen on Macedonia, Aunt Maymee, Kara, esq., (someday) Dr. Ken, Ann of North, and Mother Lee. We did it...and it was with your help, Sexy friends!

A Sexy Bobby P Adventure, Part 2

2008-11-04T09:25:00.009-05:00

Well, my dear friends... I didn't meet him per say. No one really did. But I did get to sit 10 feet from him for an hour and make eye contact a few times and enjoy his British Awesome Sexyness and so I feel my goal has been reached. I really do. Whether you agree or not, I really don't care.

I got to the Apple Store in SoHo at about 2pm. I was about the 40th person in line. Which, as it turns out, was very good because they only let like 200 people (if that in). People- hmmmm I use that term loosely. I mean females in their late teens/early twenties. I sat around for many hours and made line buddies with the gals around me. Alyssa was very fun and she and I started making fun of everyone around us. The Apple customers were really confused by us. It was very hilarious. I wish I could do a photo study on that alone. I did not wear Bobby P on my chest like so many other fans, instead I wore my boobs out loud and proud. I'm 32 and I know how to use boobs.

So after many many hours, a hot dog, and watching (and laughing at) all the sad teens who did not get there in time to get in. HA HA HA. I am an adult and I make my own choices... TEE HEE. In any case, we finally sat and waited and then it got crazy!!!! Here he is below. He is the very lit up one in the middle.

SO he finally came out and holy moses!!! I was 10 ft from him. TEN FEET. And he was delightful and funny. I won't go on ad nausea, but some of my favorite moments are "If you actually dated Edward... you'd be like 'yea you're hot, but can you just shut up already?'" and "I can really relate to JOB in the bible" and "At least let me get to know you before I kill you." I think I may want to adopt him as a puppy, if possible. He's so entertaining and adorable.

We were not allowed to take pictures, but I managed to get a few in... below is my best shot. I was trying to be tricky but could not. All in all, 7 hours waiting around for Bobby P was worth it. Even though now I'm sick... even though now I'm tired... even though I did not actually meet him. He was Sexy and Awesome and I'm glad I took the leap. Do something leapy this week... make your Sexy count. O and VOTE!!!! (unless you are voting Republican, then you know, have some FroYo and read a good book). Here's my one slightly ok sneaky pic. O Bobby P, you had me at "I mumble when I write lyrics and then interpret the sound into words... because I'm not very good."

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

A Sexy Twilight Adventure, part 1.

2008-11-03T09:46:00.002-05:00

My dears, my blog will be short today... I need to get a lot of work done so I can get the hell outta dodge so I can fulfill one of my Sexy 08 goals... Meeting Bobby P. I know, I know! I can't believe it either. I am off today on a glorious re-connect with my bf after our hott and Sexy phone call back in August when we discussed How To Be. It's been a hard couple months apart and I'm sure the sparks will fly when we eventually meet face to face.

I leave you now with this thought... I may meet Robert Pattinson today. I may also pass out and or Orgasm right there too. O Gosh! I'm giddy with the idea!

I promise to report back later... I love you all.

Sexy 08 dreams can come true, just believe!

The Sexies, According to Coxworth

2008-10-31T23:28:00.002-04:00

Alright folks...here I am, weighing in.

Don't forget to send us your choices! We'd love to hear from you!

Sexiest Song of the Year.

Umbrella. Yeah...this song is not from '08...but I swear I had not heard it until this year...because I don't listen to the radio. Nikki and I love Rihanna...

Sexiest Album of the Year.

ABBA Gold. This is not an Album from 2008, but I did receive it as a gift in '08 and listened to it over and over in my car over the summer. Those Sexy Sweedes know how to keep your toe tappin' and you Sexy thumpin'. Um is that tin foil?

Sexiest Movie of the Year
.
Atonement. I mean we all know that this movie came out last year. But technically it was released after this blog commenced. So, I think it qualifies, no?

Sexiest TV Show of the Year.

True Blood. I wrote this blog about it, and as I write this blog I am about to catch up on the last three episodes during my babysitting duty in Des Plaines. Sorry Nikki, but I cannot imagine how any teenage vampire in film/lit could be Sexier than the Sexy generated by Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, et al.

Sexiest Book of the Year.
I think all of the books I read this year were about betting on horses, but as far as this blog is concerned, how could I not say Twilight?

Sexiest non-Sexy '08 Blog.
Television Without Pity. When I was part of the 9 to 5 workforce, this site made every single day passable if not downright fun. Some of my favorite recaps are Survivor, The Amazing Race, and Friday Night Lights.

Sexiest Celebrity of the Year.

Tina Fey. This woman has had a devastatingly Sexy year. She has become the go-to comedian for humor that is both high and low, wet and dry. Her impression of Sarah Palin is one for the ages, and she won a much-deserved Best Actress Emmy. It's been quite a year.

Sexiest Comeback of the Year.

The New York Giants at the Super Bowl. Suck it, New England Patriots! The Jerz had your number. Remember when the Giants were totally down in the 4th quarter and dorky Eli Manning threw that ball to that guy who caught it with his helmet? Yeah, I do too!

Sexiest Event of the Year.

The Sexibear nuptials, for sure.

Sexiest Sexy '08 Reader/Commenter.
Michelle Langlois-Wagner. This Sexy mom is a regular commenter and a devoted reader. She always has something funny or intelligent to say about the day's blog, and we have appreciated her devotion.

Sexiest Guest Blog.
HiLary's blog about LA. My sister is one funny gal. She should take improv classes, for real. Don't squander your gift, Hilary!

Sexiest Blog by Curt.
This One. It's a little graphic.

Sexiest Blog by Nicolle.
This One! I totally forgot about it

Sexiest Blog-Comedy.
This One. If I do say so myself :).

Sexiest Blog-Drama.
This One. I really feel like it encompasses everything that Sexy '08 is about.

Sexiest Saying of the Year.
TTO (top tier outfit). I think when our followers prepare for a big night...this year, next year, and in years to come, the TTO will be on their minds.

Sexiest Person of the Year.

Angela DuRoss. She was a SPotW and a guest blogger. Angela's Sexy is in demand as she fearlessly swims in the treacherous waters of the singles scene of the greater Philadelphia area. She is gorgeous, funny, and smart. She is a rare 20-something who loves what she does for a living. And most importantly, she has learned and, as a result, teaches the lesson that when she is Sexy, she rightfully holds herself and others to the highest standards. Only the best for us all, now that we are Sexy.

THE SEXIES: Nikki Illinois Style

2008-10-30T09:21:00.005-04:00

THE SEXIES

OME- it's totes time for Nikki Illinois' Choices for the Sexies!!! Get your Joy on People!!! It's time to dish out some SEXY!

Sexiest Song of the Year.
I’m going with one of the many Awesome and Sexy songs by Rihanna. And while my current fave is Disturbia… I really think “Don’t Stop The Music” was the Sexiest of the Year. It followed me to Chicago, Cincinnati, AC, Sexybear’s Nuptials, and to my own Sexy 32nd. Now that’s a Sexy Song!

Sexiest Album of the Year.
I’m going with Paramore’s Riot. It got me hooked and hooked good. They are my new favorite band and I heart them and their teenybopper rock licks. This album totes rocked my Sexy 08, thank you ITUNES.

Sexiest Movie of the Year.
Can I say Twilight even though it hasn’t hit yet? Ok, well that’s a given… But otherwise I’m going with “The Dark Knight” because this movie kicked all the other movies’ asses this year. Plus I heart superheroes and BATMAN. It was just so good.

Sexiest TV Show of the Year.
Hmmm, this is tough. But I’m going to say How I Met Your Mother. I loved it this year, a lot. I cannot get enough of that show. Honorable Mentions: Bones and Smallville. O I love you DB and TW.

Sexiest Book of the Year.
Sexiest Book of the Year? I know what book wasn’t Sexy this year (Breaking Dawn), but you know what book rocked my world people… Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. You win some Sexy, you lose some Sexy… O well!

Sexiest non-Sexy '08 Blog.
I read Television Without Pity like all the time. It is funny and Awesome and hilarious. If you do not, there is something horribly wrong with you. Honorable Mention: www.robpattinson.blogspot.com (RIP- this blog no longer exists)

Sexiest Celebrity of the Year.
ROBERT “Bobby P” Pattinson. God, he’s sooo adorkably delicious! The Hotness- The amazing Hotness. I would so lick him. Ok, I'm done.

Sexiest Comeback of the Year.
Britney Spears… Womanizer womanizer… And HIMYM. And general not crazy behavior all Sexy 08. Congrats Brit, I love you!

Sexiest Event of the Year.
While Sexybear’s nuptials steals the Sexy all around award for this category, I think I actually felt MY Sexiest at my own and recent Sexy 32nd Bday Party! People I looked ridunkulously HOTT!!! Suck it TDWBR-OS!!!!

Sexiest Sexy '08 Reader/Commenter.
My sister (hey Michelle) is totes the Sexiest reader because she responds the most and comments the most and gets mad the most when there is a missing blog. She’s like the blog police. For Real. She’s intense ya’ll. O and Sexy!

Sexiest Guest Blog.
I know this may sound totally like nepotism, but my brother Maurice’s blog about how a gypsy stole his Sexy was hilarious. And funny is Sexy. Period. Honorable Mention: I love Hilary’s blog on LA and how not like the Hills it is.

Sexiest Blog by Curt.
Hands down, my favorite is “Top 5 Sexiest Yankee Candle Scents” - James McAvoy will never be the same.

Sexiest Blog by Nicolle.
I really enjoyed writing “Whimsical Females or Why I hate Train” Cause damn it- they really suck!

Sexiest Blog-Comedy.
Another favorite of mine was Charlemagne’s “Top 5 ALW Songs I’d do on American Idol” That whole part about being a cat… Awesome.

Sexiest Blog-Drama.
I’m going with my own “The Sexy Skinny on being Totally Fat” I was keeping it real my friends… Totally.

Sexiest Saying of the Year.
While totes has come on hard and strong in the last half of the year, I gotta say “It’s hard like eggs” is still my favorite. My siblings used it the other day and were like what movie is that from… It’s not a movie, my dears… it’s Curt and I being Awesome and Sexy.

Sexiest Person of the Year.
I’m giving this a toss up between two of my new close friends because they are sassy and Sexy and Awesome and made my day to day extra Sexy this year. So Congrats SAMbler and Meghan W. You are both my Sexiest People of the Year. I aspire to your levels of Sexy!!!!

The Sexies: Here Are Your Categories...

2008-10-29T17:56:00.000-04:00

So to celebrate a year of Sexy, Nicolle and I feel that it is fitting to create and bestow the Sexy Awards, or the Sexies. We intend to award Sexies in the following categories. If you have been keeping up with this blog all year, we invite you, our readers, to choose your own Sexy winners and email us! Well will gladly shares some of your choices with the readership sometime next week.

But for now the categories...so many categories...so many decisions...

Sexiest Song of the Year.
Which tune kept you and your Sexy at the top of your respective games?

Sexiest Album of the Year.
Which album played on repeat in your car and on your iPod?

Sexiest Movie of the Year.
Which flick got you all hot and bothered...in that good way?

Sexiest TV Show of the Year.
Which show did you tune into every week to learn more about Sexy?

Sexiest Book of the Year.
Reading is Sexy, isn't it?

Sexiest non-Sexy '08 Blog.
Whose blog is the Sexiest you read this year?

Sexiest Celebrity of the Year.
Which celeb did you google every day?

Sexiest Comeback of the Year.
Who was down and out on January 1, but got their Sexy together?

Sexiest Event of the Year.
On which day was your Sexy at its height?

Now for some blog-specific Sexies...

Sexiest Sexy '08 Reader/Commenter.
Which reader was the most significant contributor?

Sexiest Guest Blog.
Which guest blog taught your Sexy the most important lesson?

Sexiest Blog by Curt.
Which of Charlemagne's 100 plus blogs was the best?

Sexiest Blog by Nicolle.
Which of Nikki Illinois' 100 plus blogs was the best?

Sexiest Blog-Comedy.
Which of the funny Sexy '08 blogs was Sexiest?

Sexiest Blog-Drama.
Whichof the serious Sexy '08 blogs was Sexiest?

Sexiest Saying of the Year.
Which of the terms/sayings featured on Sexy '08 is gonna stand the test of time?

Sexiest Person of the Year.
Who in your opinion is the Sexiest Person of the Year? (This should be someone you know and not Curt and/or Nicolle...we don't need our asses kissed.)

Have fun...and please participate! We cannot wait to hear from you!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
I am celebrating the 1 year anniversary of Sexy '08 by driving my Sexy friend Kara to
Ohio. Her absentee ballot did not arrive, but her voice must be heard! We're driving there and back in one day...all in the name of Democracy! G-Obama!

Question for Nicolle:
Um, looks like you've already got a lot on your plate what with awarding the Sexies and all...so...no question today!

Are you Afraid of being Sexy?

2008-10-28T11:20:00.011-04:00

What's it like to live your life like there's no tomorrow? To fear nothing, not rejection or pain or humiliation? I don't know, my dears, I really don't... but today's blog is about just that. Being not afraid, being alive, being totes Sexy... I think ultimately, for a lot of us, we are afraid... not like of the dark or wigs (except I am) or Republicans winning next week... But fearful of accepting ourselves for the Awesome people we are and making the most of life as a result.

The concept of self-love (no, not like with Edward) is hard (like eggs), I won't lie. The concept of throwing all your hesitations out the window and being completely uninhibited is like crazy talk too. But I think it's a Sexy 08 necessity. Why let our fears rule us and our lives? Why let our Sexy suffer so much? Because the idea of "what if it goes wrong" is terrifying. Because someone might not want us back. Because sometimes there is someone waiting to laugh in our faces. But, um, so what. Now is the time to say stand up and shout "I'm Sexy as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" and let your confidence soar, like a pretty eagle on it's way to nurture its young (what?). Don't wake up one day regretting all the time you've let pass through your fingers. Live your life to its Sexiest.

A friend of mine passed away this past weekend. His name was Jon Dailey and he had Cystic Fibrosis and he was someone who knew had to make the most of life. He lived, loved, and laughed for every moment he could and his story is pretty inspirational. So I say in honor of Jon's memory and Awesome Sexy spirit (and smile), we all pledge to be our Sexiest. To jump off of life's scary towers and take plunges and profess feelings and go to NYC this weekend to see Bobby P all alone- because Jon would have because Jon understood life and Sexy are always worth the extra effort and that ultimately the only thing to fear, is not Sexy confidence... but rather fear itself (and maybe wigs and Republicans).

This blog is in loving memory of Jon Dailey... One of the Sexiest People I've ever known... I love you Jon, where-ever you are now.

Answer to Question of the Day:
I'm going to go with irregular verbs because we are all a lil' bit irregular here and we are all totes Sexy. And because words like Lay and Drink (drunk) and Blow and Write are all irregular and they are ridunkously Sexy!!!

Question to Curt:
How are you celebrating the Sexy 08 Blog's 1 yr Anniversary?

Is It Possible That I Am More/Less Attractive Than I Think I Am?

2008-10-28T01:47:00.006-04:00

So, I'm totes Sexier than I was 12 months ago when my dear co-rev and I started this blog, and I know I'm way Sexier than I was 18 months ago, when things were put in motion. I see a difference physically (minus somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 pounds) and even more importantly, I feel a difference.

But...I've been talking to some people recently about the fact that sometimes it is still hard to "let go" of the feeling that you are unSexy. I spent upwards of 26 years having no strong feelings at all about my attractiveness. I guess I thought I was "average." It's so hard to judge one's own attractiveness relative to others...which I guess is what I am struggling with/lamenting here. Now that my own physical attractiveness relative to myself had increased significantly, it it still hard for me to shake my previous (and completely half-assed and noncommittal) assessment of my own attractiveness.

I don't mean to be harping on the physical, but for me, I have rarely lacked social confidence or felt that I could not attract people to/with my personality and my wit. But it never really dawned on me that I might attract or need to attract someone with my appearance. I mean I'd put on top tier outfits and compliment myself, but I still didn't put much stock in it. Also, I just don't know where I fit on the spectrum of ugliness to plainness to cuteness to hotness to handsomeness to averageness. I do not write this blog to fish for compliments or to invite the readers to offer opinions as to where I fit in. I'm just saying it's hard (like eggs) to know how attractive you are to the populous.

I recently told a friend that if you put a stack of headshots in front of me and asked me to rank people in order of attractiveness...and then add myself to the mix, that I would have no idea where to put myself and would likely lowball myself. I am not fishing and I am not looking for opinions. I guess I'm just saying that when one has never thought of oneself seriously in those terms, it's hard to start doing it.

I know that compared to Curt at 17 or 22 or 26 or 27, that I am more attractive...but how does that work once I get out of my own personal pond and into the big pond. How do I know if I'm barking up much prettier trees...or much plainer shrubs?

If you look around you, countless examples of mismatched attractiveness pervade our peer group. Most often, it is some very pretty girl with a completely unremarkable-looking man. This begs the question, how did straight men get the confidence to date outside their league and how do I get that confidence? How do completely non-descript straight men walk around thinking that they could/should date much more attractive women and then go on and do it?

This is unSexy talk, I know. I am totes Sexy and am totes enjoying my newfound and continuously growing Sexy. It's still new though, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work it...all of the new features, the shiny buttons, the bells and whistles... So I'm just hoping that the Sexy will take care of this problem for me...a problem which, I guess, is not such a bad one to have.

Thoughts/Comments? Does anyone else think about this?

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Besides sweating about the election I don't know. Well...I mean I do know that I am not going to dress as a "Slutty Pumpkin."

Question for Nicolle:
What's Sexier...regular verbs or irregular verbs?

Sexiest Person of the Week: Triple AAAmbler

2008-10-24T09:52:00.007-04:00

Today is My Birthday people... And it's Sexiest Person of the Week... So HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY TO ME and also congrats on AAAmbler getting the nod for being so damn Sexy on this most holy of days! (It's my birthday on my blog- you can all suck it!)... I have known Alan approximately forever (27 years) and he really is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Aside from being boringly nice though, there are actually some terribly Awesome and Sexy things to know about him... He's got a ridiculously swanktastic singing voice, was so popular in high school that (according to Killer) he didn't have to take square-dancing (I think this is made up), and he married SAMbler... So Sexy! Anyway- read on... get to know him, his music, his Awesome hair, and his wise-cracking self... Sexy

Alan and I time-traveled (we are doing this a lot lately- but we've got money in the budget for it) back to the mid-80s at Six Flags Great Adventure. We found the recording studio where we recorded the greatest renditions of "Uptown Girl" and "Twist and Shout" back in the day and decided to wait for our younger selves to arrive so we could freak the bejesus out of them.

ME: This place is so weird. I actually hate it here.

Alan: Really? Why? It's so... yea, I can't even fake it... there are too many kids here.

ME: Exactly and it smells funny, like perpetual funnel cake and dirty old sewer water. Anyway- you are SPotW... Congrats!

Alan: It's an honor, I think.

ME: It totally is... so you have an incredibly Sexy singing voice and continue to perform and entertain with it... Why do you think it's important and Sexy to keep creative endeavors alive?

Alan: Heinz ketchup put it best “The best things come to those who wait”… and that’s all I have to say about that.

ME: So is should I enjoy your vocal stylings with like a burger or... O I get it. Hmmmmm- I hope that applies to all things. It's a good motto... Speaking of mottos or I mean autos, what is the most unSexy part of being stuck in GSP traffic?

Alan: I know that this is a cliche answer but, rubber necking….. just because it is sooooooo useless. I wish someone could explain to me why a person changing a tire, someone pulled over by a cop, or a “fender bender” on the OTHER SIDE of the highway is worth slowing down to look at. There is an accident at least 3-4 times a week on the Parkway during rush hour. If you have seen one then you have seen them all. On top of that it makes me feel like a horrible person. And I know that I am not alone in this. (He's not) After you have been sitting in traffic because of an accident for over an hour, you finally roll up on what has delayed you from getting home, only to find that it was a two car accident with one car’s bumper on the ground. Am I the only one that thinks “Really? That’s it? No body on the pavement with a sheet covering it?”. I know everyone is thinking this at that moment but you just can’t say it. And if you do see a sight like that, doesn’t it feel just a little justified then? Then shame sets in and I feel like a horrible person. Maybe I am, but I just wanna get home quickly… ARGGGGG!!!

ME: Um, I agree... so not only does that make us both horrible people... But look we are both really fun and Awesome so screw you universe!!! We win! Anyway, speaking of the universe and space, we saw Return of the Jedi together back in the day... Which is Sexier... Ewoks or Wookies... and which would make better pets?

Alan: My opinion is that Ewoks suck; they try to be cute and loveable, but they just suck. Lucas failed miserably when he scripted the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi. They are about as fun as Teddy Ruxbin. Only Teddy was better because he spoke English. The Ewoks were mindless idiots that worshiped anything that was shiny and had a British accent (Hey Now- that sounds like me). Now Wookies on the other hand are great. They don’t speak English but if you had a Wookie, you would understand everything it said; and no one else does. Wookies are loyal friends and apparently know a lot about engines and electronics. Not to mention, they could kick the sh@t out of anything or anyone that got in your way. Sure you would have to vacuum everyday that they stayed in your house. But isn’t that a small price to pay for such a sexy friend. I wish I had a Wookie.

ME: I hate to vacuum. But I do like Wookies better myself, but I think I'd like to have an Ewok for a pet because I'm a girl and I feel like a Wookie just might try to go in for the sexual assault. But that's me... More on movies, what movie genre best represents your Sexy (action, comedy, musical, drama, romance, etc...) and why?

Alan: Comedy. Everybody in this life has flaws. You have to be able to laugh at them. Comedies put it in your face and point out why you should never be completely committed to just one belief. There is always another side, and it’s usually really funny.

ME: I think my life is more like an action movie, o wait... I totally want to sleep with an action movie star... and like get married to them and have more action movie sex... Sorry, I digress but anyhoo, weddings... Charlemagne and I love to dance to horrible cheesy music at weddings- What is the most Sexy song heard at every wedding that you don't actually hate to perform?

Alan: “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye. It is the complete opposite of “Walking On Sunshine” in every possible way. Enough said.

ME: Why do I love cheesy music so much... O wait there we are... O god is this the day you and I record "You've lost the loving Feeling?"

Alan: We have to stop it. Or at least teach ourselves the song.

ME: Come on- let's jump out at us and make us cry!

Answer to Question of the Day:
Sexier 09 or Awesome 09 - what will I try to make happen hobby wise... I don't really know. I'm not a hobby person. But I would like to maybe get better on the drums, on RockBand so I don't just demand to be the lead singer. Cause I'm an ok singer but maybe secretly I'm like a kick ass virtual drummer... I mean that's totes Sexy... female drummers, right? Right?

Question to Curt:
What's up your Sexy sleeve for the Halloween weekend?

Sixty is Not the End of Sexy: Martha Stewart & Joy Behar

2008-10-23T23:32:00.005-04:00

There are two Sexy Sexagenarians who have brightened up my mornings recently and I wanted to honor them both today...and thank them for keeping my mornings Sexy.

Jersey girl Martha Stewart has been at the helm of the S.S. Good Taste seemingly forever. And each day she spends an hour teaching us new recipes, passing out decorating tips, and trying so so hard to be warm. As high brow as she is/can be though, she totally remembers where she came from. Martha's Sexy is totes a product of her Jersey pride and her total ownership of her ex-con status. She is not ashamed of having been to jail and is not afraid to remind her viewers. "When I was at Alderson," she will occasionally say...um how many celebs willingly reference even their misdemeanor pot arrest? Not many.

As Nicolle and I have said countless times, confidence, specifically an unflinching loyalty to oneself is one of the greatest contributors to Sexy. Martha Stewart knows exactly who she is and that's who shows up every day, on my TV, challenging me to get out of poverty, decorate my apartment, host a dinner party, start an herb garden, taste different types of cheese, find a use for all of the parts of the pumpkin, learn to sew, create amazing centerpieces, properly groom my gorgeous cat Gwendolen, give hot dogs another chance, and of course become successful enough to be on her show. I love you Martha!!! Tramps like us, baby!!!

*****

So I was all prepared to give you all a break on the political rhetoric, but my current employment situation has me in a position to watch The View every day. Those ladies are really on edge of late, and I completely relate: it's kind of a crazy time what with the election and all. I have never really enjoyed this program. I think the old bat Babs Walters needs to retire from public view; at the very least she needs to stop opening her useless mouth. For many years, this program was an entertainment show trying to pass itself off as journalism, especially with old Babs and the sometime journalist Meredith Viera (sp?) at the helm. Now that Whoopi is in charge, The View has become decidedly entertainment, but its "Hot Topics" segment has been ferociously political.

Sexy Sexagenarian co-host Joy Behar is a woman who brazenly shares my liberal values and who is not afraid to unleash them on the world. Former Survivor contestant, Biddy Hasselbeck has become a frighteningly deranged mouthpiece of the right, and the Sexy Joy Behar does not give her an inch. I have been watching for a few weeks now, and literally every day, these two are at each other's throats during "Hot Topics." Behar loves to call out the GOP and Ms. Hasselbeck every chance she gets. Her treatment of Old Man McCain during his recent appearance was delicious. Whereas "journalists" often turn into sycophantic, sniveling p*ssies when faced with a major interview, Joy Behar lets her Sexy opinions out to play. Thanks for making my mornings Sexy and exciting.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
The Sexiest Rihanna song is Umbrella mostly because she looks so "hot" in the video. I put "hot" in quotation marks so that you would know that I do not desire Rihanna sexually but do in fact recognize that she is very attractive, particularly in a corset, ballet slippers, and silver and gold body paint. Sometimes men use the word hot and it gives people the wrong impression about their sexuality. Let's make an effort to use quotation mark, when possible.

Question for Nicolle:
With an eye on an even Sexier '09, what Sexy hobby would you like to take up?

My Sexy 32nd in 5 Sexy Parts

2008-10-22T10:16:00.008-04:00

Ok- so I totally haven't turned 32 yet. That's on Friday my Sexies... But I had the most Kick Ass Rockin' BDay party yet (as I mentioned on Monday) and well- I thought I'd let you know both the Sexy and slightly unSexy flip-side to this most Awesome of evenings... so without much more explanation... My Sexy 32nd in 5 Sexy Parts!!!

1. THE PEOPLE: Look at the picture above (go ahead and scroll up)- these are the most Awesome of people... I know not everyone from the party is in this picture BUT everyone who attended is like a Sexy Rock God/dess in my mind now. I had a blast with everyone and I realize it was kind of a hike for some of you so thanks a bunch... you are all really really Awesomely Sexy... Especially my family for making the longest treks there!! ~ unSexy flipside: Charlemagne and Sexybear could not make it. Which was sad and a little less Sexy than it could have been... I poured some beer on the floor in your honor (no I didn't, but Maurice spilled some drink of Ken's which made Paul worried someone would slip- does that count?)

2. Tiara: I love a birthday Tiara. I love an everyday Tiara. Tiara's are totally Sexy and let everyone know you are the most special of all the people where ever you are. On your birthday, wear a Tiara... and then share it with everyone, men and women alike. ~ unSexy flipside: Some Tiaras have pointy sharp parts that can stick painfully in your head, like Jesus and his Crown of Thorns (which was my Tiara's nickname for the evening, btw)... Just don't jam it down on your bald brother's head or he may bleed... which he maybe did (IDK my dears, Idk). Tiaras goodtimes, just for the love of Robert Pattinson be safe!

3. Dancing: I love to dance. Sober Drunk German... it doesn't matter. And I did! I boogied my rather curvy large ass off! Rihanna finally made a very public (auditory) appearance and I made eye contact with my sister (Hey Michelle) and bolted for the D-Floor. After that, I got to hear Katy Perry, JT (he brought some Sexy Back), Britney and I can't remember any other music... Key moments of hot dancing... My brother and sister square-dancing... for reals, with bowing and do-si-doing... really. I heart them ~ unSexy flipside: the DJ blew for like 75% of the evening and only really knocked it out of the park with a half hour to go... way to bring the Sexy down JkAs... Booo.

4. CupCakes: Don't let anyone tell you that having cake at a bar is a bad idea. They are stupid and not Sexy. I had Cupcakes at my party at a bar and it was Awesome and everyone sang HBDay to me and we got to enjoy the taste-tasticness of it all... I had three different flavors people, I am that incredible... I'm cupcake-tastic, that's what I am. ~ unSexy flipside: Total strangers will try to eat your Cupcakes at a bar... watch out for the kind of unSexy thievery... that's not cool - those tiny cakes were expensive and I don't know you... leave my mom alone!!!

5. Getting Drunk from a Sexy Bitch Glass: My two bestest friends, Killer and Heather Frisbie-Smith bought me a ridiculously large wine glass that says Sexy Bitch on it. And then proceeded to pour beer after beer into my cup. I never saw the bottom of it, nor did I want to... I was rocked my dear Sexy friends, rocked by the end of the evening. After two shots, 4 Malibu Baybreezes, and the lord only knows how many beers... I was flying high! That glass was Awesome and let's face it- perfectly describes me- A Sexy Bitch ~ unSexy flipside: I don't think there is one here... sorry! It was a great gift and I totally loved it! You guys ROCK!!! (and um so do I)

Answer to Question of the Day:
The Sexiest of Rihanna's songs... O god that's hard, like eggs ya'll. I love most of the stuff I hear from her. Don't Stop The Music is AWESOME and so is Umbrella (Little Miss Sunshine, Rihanna where you at??) BUT I gotta say Disturbia is the Sexiest for me. The lyrics are totes hot... "Like a thief in the night to come and grab you... it will creep up inside you and consume you... " I love the creepy hot video too... all that bondage, you can't go wrong!! So Disturbia- that's my vote.

Question to Curt:
Which is the Sexiest Rihanna song in your mind?

Closing in on a Year of Sexy...

2008-10-22T02:56:00.004-04:00

Did you know that Nicolle and I began this Sexy revolution almost one year ago? Well, it's true...our very first blog was posted on October 30, 2007, and we are quickly approaching our anniversary date. Folks, that's a lot of blogs. More than most of you fellow bloggers post, though to be fair, we do alternate. But still, it's been nearly a year of Sexy work and Sexy blogs. To Celebrate this momentous occasion, Nicolle and I will announce nominees (and subsequently, the winners) of the inaugural Sexies. A Sexy is an honor to be bestowed upon a person, a blog, a phenomenon, etc. who/that has been a proponent/example of the revolutionary spirit of Sexy '08!

The day before our one year anniversary, we will announce the nominees in each category and on October 30, 2008, we will announce the winners!

Nikki and I want to hear from our readers. Do you want to suggest a category or recommend a person, etc. for one of the inaugural Sexies? Email us at thesexy2008@gmail.com! We'd love to hear from you.

****

I had intended to write a "proper" blog today, but I have to be honest: I have become a bit consumed with the election. It's really all I can think about right now, and as three of my last four blogs have been politically themed, I decided to give the readers a break. So...think about potential categories and nominees for the inaugural Sexies, and let us know!!!!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Yes. I was very sorry not to be there. I was happy, though, to celebrate the Birthday of former SPotW Molly on Saturday night. I got my dance on which...yeah...is always Sexy fun. They played two Rihanna songs.

Question for Nicolle:
Speaking of Rihanna...which of her Barbados songs is the Sexiest?

My Birthday Party was Sexier than Yours...

2008-10-20T14:10:00.007-04:00

So I totally had a birthday party this past weekend... And it was SEXY. Possibly the Sexiest Bday Party EVA! My mom, Maurice, and my sister (Hey Michelle) came in for a quick, hard-hitting, totally Sexy weekend extravaganza of ridiculous sayings (It's like a dress) and wacky Langlois Fun (dead legs at bakeries, we are soo not adults sometimes). My mom, Anne, totally wins weekend CAMP CHAMP because she drove our drunk asses home after the party and helped me keep awake while I drove Michelle back to Philly (what up four hour drive after only 2.5 hours sleep) the next morning. O THE FUN!!!

What made this party so Awesome was, aside from me looking ridiculously hot (pics coming soon), was that all my friends and fam were there to celebrate. It was like a who's who of Nikki's good time funtime peeps. Friends from every walk of my life populated our corner of the bar. There was some crazy dancing (Maurice and Michelle square-danced), I drank from a Goblet of Beer all night, Killer totally stood on a toilet so she could talk to me in my bathroom stall, I grabbed Seth's crotch a coupla times, we had CUPCAKES, and TWILIGHT even managed to get worked into the evening by SAMbler purchasing a themed gift (what up Bella's Bracelet) for me. SO MUCH FUN!

So like Wednesday, look for some party pics... a top 5 of Sexy or unSexy things that happened (there were none) and enjoy that I managed to write you all a blog that I was considering skipping (I've never done it before) because I am tired and not really feeling terribly literary today. I love you all, be Sexy... Enjoy this most Awesome of Weeks... My birthday week!

Answer to Question of the Day:
Sexiest Person at my Party, aside from me??? EEEEEK, IDK. How about I tell you that Killer looked Awesome (even though Lil' Kill totally called her out for wearing a "crazy" shirt), Ken and Seth were like dressed alike (except for Seth's Matrix jacket and satchel), my family took great care in their outfits at my request and they all looked HOTT, and Chris Frisbie-Smith totally had a moose on his shirt (or an elk, I believe that was up for debate)... in any case, everyone looked amazing (especially the people who wore my bday tiara) and I heart them all for coming!

Question to Curt:
How sorry are you that you could not attend the second MOST Sexiest event of 2008 (only following Sexybear's nuptials)? And how did you keep your Sexy going despite this?

Sexy '08 Officially Endorses Barack Obama for President

2008-10-17T15:02:00.007-04:00

Well in lieu of a Sexiest Person of the Week, Sexy '08 is finally ready to give its much sought-after endorsement for President of the United States. Some of you may have noticed that my co-revolutionary and I are Democrats. We have mentioned this a few times. It should be no surprise, then that Sexy '08 hereby endorses Barack Obama for President.

Nicolle and I are lucky to have been raised in super liberal families. My parents are lifelong Democrats who raised two enlightened and liberal children and also my brother (what up BrYan?). They have been towing the liberal line in weirdly conservative (damn you papists!) Middletown, NJ for as long a I can remember. I have seen my father absolutely lose it in the presence of republic*nts or their propaganda, and honestly, it makes me proud. Nikki's awesome Mom is the head of the local Democratic Party in OOB, ME, and her sister is the only Democrat in greater Cincinnati (win us Ohio, Michelle!). Every phase of our upbringings has prepared us for this moment.

Yet, I have been very slow to embrace Mr. Obama as my candidate. I knew I would vote for the Democratic nominee, but I had hoped for a long time that it would be Hillary Clinton. I believed that Mr. Obama would not do everything it took to win, that he would try to take the high road and miss numerous opportunities to attack his opponent. I know perhaps I should have preferred a candidate whose principles encouraged him to operate his campaign with more optimism and energy. It's just that, I saw this as an absolute must-win election, and I feared that it would take the shadiness of the Clintons to win.

I am delighted, though, with the intelligent and sensitive campaign that Mr. Obama has run. I am also, of course, delighted by his current advantage in the polls. (That sound you hear is me knocking loudly on wood.) It seems that Americans have responded to his message and are impressed with his abundant intelligence. And now Sexy '08 is formally jumping on the bandwagon.

Today, I took advantage of the opportunity to vote early. I realized, as I was participating in the democratic process on my first touch screen voting machine (fun!), that I has not voted in four years: not since crappy John Kerry lost to the worst and dumbest president ever. Let me tell you, it's great to be participating in Democracy again. I used to vote all the time, even for American Idol (go Kimberly Locke!), but the last presidential election left me with a very unSexy feeling. After my Sexy year, voting again felt like I was truly back on track. Now let's all get back on track...by voting for Barack Obama for President!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Hmm...two actresses? Well, I've always wanted to be friends with Janeane Garofalo...like always. Whenever I see or hear (Weight Watchers voice overs!) Ms. G, I am reminded of her awesome outspokenness and her total Jerseyness. Also, I'd have to say Elisabeth Moss who plays Peggy on Mad Men because I love Peggy and I think we could have a lot of fun, and also I just shut off my cable so I'm gonna miss the last few episodes of the season and I'll bet she could fill me in.

Question for Nicolle:
Besides you, who looked Sexiest at your Sexy 32nd?

The Sexy of Seth Green and NPH!

2008-10-16T09:55:00.013-04:00

If there are two more lovable scamps running around on the planet of celebrity, I don't know about it (and I don't want to). I heart these two... and not in a Robert Pattinsony F*ck Me til the cows come home kinda way (not that there's anything wrong with this kind of love... Hey Bobby P!). No, SG and NPH are two truly special celebrities who make you wanna grab a frozen yogurt together, find a bench, and then mock the passing public endlessly... These are the BFF kind of celebrity crushes we should all have... and of course, I do. (Cause I'm a weirdo who loves celebrity men, gay/straight/whatever... I just enjoy guys~ I make no apologies... NONE!)

If you are unfamiliar with their collective Awesome... all I can say is- what's wrong with you? How can you (someone so Sexy and Sassy) be unfamiliar with their collective Awesome? I don't know if I can care about people who don't know why SG and NPH are insanely ridiculously most fanTestical... (yea that's what I said). I mean who doesn't know about Doogie Howser MD or The Austin Power Movies? Or more importantly, Neil Patrick Harris (and harold and kumar do sumthin') and Robot Chicken/Family Guy? (Curt possibly) These are two guys who laugh at you, themselves, and the world at large and manage to look extra adorable doing so... like I said scamptastic!

So what's so great about them, aside from being hilarious and adorable? Look at them- no really. If they were just regular Joes (not to be confused with this plumber guy) and you passed them on the street, would you notice them at all? Most likely- I'm thinking- no. SG is like 5 ft tall and red-headed (not exactly a lethal combo of OMG hottness) and NPH is well, NPH is cute with his cro-magnon fore-head and all, but he's not UBER-Celebrity HOT (like let's say Robert Pattinson or Tom Welling or David Boreanaz) and yet- these two sardonic sweet-hearts are FAMOUS... and Sexy and I'm writing about them. They are "normal" looking peeps who got their Sexy all shined up and didn't let their "out of the box" appeal stifle them. If you ask me, which you kind of did cause you're reading this blog (yea in your face), they are great examples of people in control of their Sexy.

So what lessons can we take away from SG and NPH's incredible Sexy Charisma? Don't let anything stand in your way. Be hilarious, be over-the-top, be witty and delightful and adorable... but never ever let them see you sweat. Also starring in weird musicals about evil villains (Dr Horrible's Sing A Long Blog- NPH) and creating hilarious sketches with 80's cartoon action figures and what not (Robot Chicken is HYSTERICAL- SG) are sure fire ways to make people like Nikki Illinois LOVE YOU MORE. So in conclusion, Seth Green you had me at Buffy when you played Oz... but your incredible Sexy continues to rock my world on a regular basis. And NPH, you are so so spanktastic on HIMYM... Together your Sexies are almost legend (wait for it) dary!

Answer to Question of the Day:
What's the Sexiest thing about this election season? O Christ (no, not him- he actually tends to um de-Sexy it... Sorry Jesus!) I guess I think Obama is the Sexiest thing about the season. He's so smart and eloquent and his confidence and articulate manner make me feel ok, like everything will be ok... I want someone smarter than me in the WhiteHouse... I want someone in touch with the world at large... I don't want Sarah Palin or McCain doing what we've always done. It doesn't work anymore. Obama does stand for change and it's what we need. Change/Evolution/Revolution/Sexy. Need I say more? PS: Tina Fey is also a pretty damn Sexy part of this but we covered her earlier in the week! (Hey Tina!)

Question to Curt:
Who are two celebrity women who you have asexual BFF crushes on like SG and NPH and what are they bringing to your Sexy table these days?

The Five unSexiest Thing About Sarah Palin.

2008-10-15T13:24:00.008-04:00

So there's this woman who's running for Vice-President, maybe you've heard about it. She's the super-conservative governor of Alaska, and my brother, a former SPotW thinks she's hot. Now I'm not super excited to think that my brother is into Cougars, but I'm even less excited when that cougar is the standard-bearing right-wing freak show Sarah Palin. My brother is not alone. Many men have found themselves "attracted" to Sarah Palin, so I feel that I need to offer this blog as a warning to those who think she Mrs. Alaska is hot, but who are not exactly familiar with what comes out of her mouth.

The Vice-President Becomes the President if the President Dies.
Or...if you're Sarah Palin it could be explained like this. "If for any reason, Miss America is not able to fulfill her duties for any reason, the first runner up will assume both the title and the duties." Only this time, it's a bit more involved than putting on a crown and attending state fairs. This woman could be one misshapen mole away from the top spot, and my Sexy thinks that's scary. Hillary Clinton...now that was a woman who could run a show like this country. I'm not sure Sarah Palin could run a talent show at a high school...at least not without making some gay teens cry.

She Thinks We Are Dumber Than She Is.
Mrs. Alaska, what is your reaction to the Troopergate investigation that found you to be in violation of a state ethics law?
Oh heck, I am so happy that they decided that I had done nothing wrong and did not violate any laws.
Oh you must not have understood my question. They did find that you violated the law. Any reaction?
I am just so pleased that I was proven to not be a law violator.
You're joking, right?
No siree, Bob, I am so happy to be 100% innocent.
She is a Republican.
Nicolle and I have been pretty upfront about the fact that there is not much about the Republican party is Sexy. I respect that some people are fiscally conservative or that they are into small government or even that they want America to be the world's only super-power. What I do not respect is the social conservatism that has plagued the GOP for a long time, but especially since the rise (?) to power of our current "leader." Mrs. Alaska is just too conservative to be Sexy, and she reminds me (and many others) of the blanket social conservatism, often borne out of a blind devotion to religious "teachings." And that behavior encourages the denial of rights to people who want, need, and deserve them.

Speaking of those Rights: Abortion.
So I'm going to tread lightly here. I am pro-choice, and I understand and respect that people are pro-life (or perhaps anti-choice). What I cannot respect is people wanting to outlaw abortion. This is a public health issue...one that directly affects young women. It is misogynistic to try to remove a 35-year-old right, a right that women have fought and died for. The right to choose does not require or insist that anyone get an abortion; it provides the right to make a private, individual choice. This just stinks of girl-on-girl hate; and it's unSexy.

She is Completely Confident Despite her Dearth of Knowledge.
The Charles Gibson interview. The Katie Couric interview. The obnoxious behavior at the VP debate. But she is delighted with herself. She walks up to a podium with a swagger that says I can read from a teleprompter so I have nothing to worry about. She doesn't worry about not knowing or understanding anything that is really important in this election because all she has to do is scare the mob about Obama. What is perhaps the unSexiest thing about her is that since she clearly doesn't know anything pertinent, she is actively appealing to people who don't know any better...and appealing to the worst parts of those people. Oh dear.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Well, to make sure that my Sexy and I are there in your heart, you can wear a top tier outfit, you can dance like it's your job, and you can be confident that you are queen for the night. I wish I could be there Nikki!!!

Question for Nicolle:
What do you think is the Sexiest thing about election season?

The Sexy Never-Ending Never-Easy Revolution Continues!

2008-10-14T10:09:00.019-04:00

There's nothing easy about this revolution my friends (but like all those others, totally easy)... and deep down I think we've all been a part of Sexy 08 for years, if not decades, now... Unnecessarily waging war against the mopey doppelganger in our mirrors (not to be confused with the ghostly, creepy images in the mirror that are trying to kill you all horror movie style... you can wage war on them, that's totes ok). It's difficult and it's every day and it's not fair... AND... so what? The reality is you let the doubts and insecurities creep inside you and parasitically feed on you... the reality is you did this to yourself (Though I'm sure you had the help of some outstandingly tremendous AssHats) ~ and now it's time to take back the night, your self-esteem, the shirt you loaned your roommate, that huge diamond necklace in Titanic, and most importantly - your Sexy. Now is really the time to stand strong, my compatriots... because folding now would be the easy way out and no one said gettin' Sexy was easy. (Don't listen to the Gambler, you don't need to know when to fold'em... folding is for wussys and Republicans)

Right now, I am fighting myself to stay afloat (I'm so tired of the horse metaphor, I totes don't want to get on a horse right now... but I'd like to not drown)... Well, ok I'm fighting myself to win the Olympic medal in the Butterfly, that's far more inspirational than like doggie paddling Sexy... Anyway, I needed to remind myself why this was important and that I can't give up... and that yes it's hard, like eggs and immigration laws ya'll. It's never easy to put down the guacamole and chips and go walk 3 miles. It's never easy to ignore those memories of rejection (Why didn't Jason Bateman love me back?)... It's never easy to sparkle like diamonds and be UBER confident every moment of the day (unless you are a Cullen) It's never going to be easy, I know that. And that's part of the Awesome of it- that it's a struggle... that when we come out Sexy and victorious, it (it being a winner) will taste 100 times better than even giant Red Velvet Cupcakes. (if this is a lie, I don't want to know)... I need to believe in myself, in Charlemagne, and you guys- it gives me hope and faith in this whole wacky thing... Hope, Faith and a huge ego that you all care what I have to say... and huge egos really help in the fight against unSexyness. For Reals.

I say all this now (and again) because it's the final Quarter of the big Sexy 08 Playoffs and I think the team (um and myself) needs rallying and reminding about why we are doing this and why everyone needs to stay resilient and Awesome. And I don't just mean until Dec 31st at mid-night my friends... Do you think this Sexy Revolution will end then... HELLS NO! The revolution will continue, it will always continue... The message might change (um coz the year totes changes to 09 and we can't keep saying 08, that's not very forward thinking of us) BUT you can bet that Charlemagne and Nikki Illinois will still be fighting the ghosts in the mirror who are trying to kill us and our own inner unSexy demons. I promise you that... the journey doesn't end ever... there will be sequels. Sexy 08 forever!

Answer to Question of the Day:
Economic what now? O right that whole stock market thing and people losing their jobs... Um I'm staying Sexy by not worrying about it. If I think too much about it, I start to think unSexy things and that my friends is pointless. There is nothing I can do about it. Except Vote- which I am for Obama and that's all I can do... Otherwise, I am living my life like there ain't nothing going wrong in the world. I have no control over that stuff and if it continues to crisis, well so be it. In the meantime, I am happily waiting for the chance to help the economy by going to see Twilight a million times. Robert Pattinson, helping us out of the economic darkness... Sexy!

Question to Curt:
Did you see Wanted? Cause your answer yesterday was totally Wanted but like a lil' Gay... and you played like Angelina Jolie's character... weird, but very fun (I liked that movie- hey James McAvoy we haven't mentioned your hotness in a while!!) Um, so you won't be able to make my Sexy 32nd because of this "economic whosits" - what can I do to make sure that my Sexy dance-card remains filled without you? What can I do to make sure Charlemagne is still there in my Sexy 32nd heart??

Your Sexy Quarterly Report

2008-10-13T14:09:00.003-04:00

Can you believe that Nicolle and I are quickly approaching one year of blogs? As you will recall, the revolution began a couple of months before '08. Well on October 30th, we celebrate one year! Isn't that exciting and Sexy? Anyway, I'm ready with the quarterly report...so here we go.

There were 92 days in the third quarter of Sexy '08...on how many of those days did you actually take the time to look Sexy, and did that affect your overall Sexy on said day?
The third quarter was a very exciting time for me and for Sexy in general: weddings, trips, visitors, etc. I am proud to say that there were very few days on which I did not make a concerted effort to look my Sexy best. I'd say the only time I didn't make a real effort was when I was traversing the country with former SPotW Jackie, trapped in a car for 2.5 days. It's really not that important when you are alternating driving thru the "heart"land and sleeping in a passenger seat. But otherwise, I've been keeping busy and busy is good for your Sexy.

Nicolle and I invited several wise people to be SPotW or to write us a guest blog...which of those guests had the greatest impact on your Sexy in the third quarter? Why/How?
Well for me the most influential Sexy guest during the third quarter was Jackie. She has been an ardent follower of our movement, and I was inspired by her own views on Sexy and how she applies the ideology of Sexy '08 to her every day life. After a chat with Jackie, or a SPotW interview, I am left feeling like Nicolle and I are not alone on this Sexy journey.

Name one positive change to your Sexy that manifested itself in the third quarter (but had not previously been seen earlier in the Revolution).
Honestly, I think my Sexy has learned how to turn on the GO signal. I'm not always pleased with those who see and react to said signal, but I definitely see the third quarter as positive step in the direction of social interaction, of the kind that I have not quite partaken...

Did you confront any and all entities that threatened your Sexy in the third quarter? If so, which ones? Did your Sexy emerge victorious?
The biggest threat to my Sexy in quarter three was a drop off in the frequency and intensity of my workouts, but as I detailed here and here, my Sexy emerged victorious indeed.

Are there any obstacles you can foresee in the upcoming fourth quarter (October 1st-December 31st) that your Sexy will need to be in peak condition to defeat?
Oh hey guys, I need a new job, and nothing is quite so unSexy as a job search or potentially finding a job that you absolutely do not want. So I'm just really trying to stay positive and hopefully the search and the resulting job will be just great (Frosted Flakes are gross).

Most importantly, are you Sexier now than you were on January 1st? April 1st? July 1st?
If my Sexy were plotted on a x-y axis where time was represented on the x-axis and Sexy on the y-axis, there would totally be a direct relationship or a positive correlation. As elapsed time in Sexy '08 increases, so does my Sexy. So to answer your question, me, I would have to say yes. I am Sexier now than I was on January 1st, April 1st, and July 1st!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Ok, well in my next movie I play a gay hitman with a heart of gold. Evil hitmen kidnap my Lhasa Apso, Cinderella, and refuse to return her to me unless I agree to take down the man who taught me everything I know about hitmanning. Now, this guy is like a Dad to me b/c of course I grew up in an orphanage after my parents were killed by hitmen, so I totes do not want to kill him. And he totes didn't care that I was gay even though others in the hitman community wouldn't accept me. But I'm an animal lover so you'll have to see how this works out...Spring 2009!

Question for Nicolle:
How do you plan to stay Sexy during this financial crisis?

Sexiest Person of the Week: Trish!

2008-10-10T09:20:00.011-04:00

It's Friday.... A lovely Autumn Friday morning in fact. I've just had a yummy breakfast, I'm about to get my morning cuppa java and the birds are singing. Awesome. And it's totes SPotW day! Today's SPotW is none other than Trish! Trish is a sassy, Sexy, womanly woman of the world. She has been supporting Sexy 08 since it's inception and let me tell you... this lady is not one to be trifled with (no triflin'- do you hear me!). She takes charge... of her life, destiny, and her Sexy. She is a tough broad with a wealth of knowledge at her feet and a heart the size of Texas. She is also mother to former SPotW Heather Frisbie-Smith and that's insanely Sexy. So come on the journey to get to know Trish- enjoy her, worship her, love her. So Sexy!

Trish and I met at a speakeasy in Chicago in the roaring 1920's. Dressed as flappers, we delightedly thumbed our noses at the prohibition laws and drank deeply of the gin and tonics. We got drunker and drunker as the night progressed, but our Sexy stayed in tact as did our Sexy philosophies!

ME: Wow, the 20's are totally in Black and White. Did we know that?

Trish: Well it was the Great Depression Era, so maybe color was too expensive?

ME: And that ridiculous accent, "I need another drink, see... you mook." Weird! The past is crazy silly! Anyway, congrats on being SPotW!

Trish: Thank you, it's an honor. And you should respect the past... You can learn a lot from it.

ME: Like that everything is in Black & White! Ok, you love animals and they love you. Which animal is the Sexiest and why?

Trish: My cat Baby ( a Leo), was the sexiest for sure. She knew how to work the room and play on your emotions. But dogs can be really sexy, too. My dog Alle was a perfect companion so devoted and loyal ( a Leo) and that to me is sexy.

ME: If I had to love a cat, it would have been Baby... We always bumped heads together when I came over. Awww and well, I am a dog lover and Alle was a sweet-heart! Speaking of sweet-hearts... or prostitutes, I once dressed up like a murdering cowgirl prosititute and said "red-eye" all in the name of dinner theater for you. Which do you think is Sexier, a murdering cowgirl prostitute or dinner theater?

Trish: A murdering cowboy prostitute for sure- when you can play the part and know for a little while how the other side lives, why not?

ME: Are you implying I'm nothing like a cowgirl prostitute who murders people and says dirty innuendos? I mean sure I've never killed anyone or been paid for sex, but come on! I love myself some innuendo! Anyway, I digress... you and my mother, two terribly Sexy mature, sassy, ladies, are both called Gigi and not Grandma. Gigi infers a certain level of Tremendous Sexy, how do you bring your Sexy Gigi out?

Trish: GiGi is a french name, not that I am French, but find all things French extremely sexy. Gigi is a better name than GRANDMA- as a matter of fact to me- anything is better than the name Grandma- which sounds like a woman knitting socks which isn't sexy. Gigi is a name for an older woman who still likes style has grace, and is up with the times, which I hope to instill in both my grandchildren- style, grace and elegance which is very sexy.

ME: I concur! So it's almost my Sexy 32nd and I am a Scorpio. Your daughter, Heather and Curt are Leos and you and Sexybear (both born on the same day) are Sagitarians... What do you think, with all of your outstanding knowledge, is the Sexiest of all Astrology Signs and why?

Trish: The sexiest sign of the Zodiac is definitely Sagittarius, one because I am one ( I actually have alot of Scorpio planets in my chart) and some of the most sexy people are- Tina Turner, Kim Basinger, Frank Sinatra, Bette Midler.. but Scorpio is raw- deep in the gut sexy- deep and intensely immersed in all things sexual and sensual from the way they brush their hair ( if they have some) to the way they kiss, they are totally and passionately in the moment- really ingrained in the power of capture- that's the sexiness of Scorpio- passionate capture. Leos are sexy in their regalness, they love the spotlight- and are sexy when they are entertaining us with their sense of humor and Queenish or King of all things behavior-you knows what I am talking about, Leo!!

ME: Leos... such incredible attention whores! It's outta control! All right, last question - You are a Jackie of All Trades... you read, you write, you cook (the best broccoli), radio shows, real estate, medicine... you have lived a crazy interesting life... What are some things in your life that have made you and continue to make you feel Awesome and Sexy? What kind of advice can you impart to our readers about making each day Sexy?

Trish: CONFIDENCE MAKES YOU SEXY!! CARRY YOURSELF LIKE THE SEXY PERSON YOU ARE!! MAKE THEM WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO!! BE OPEN TO NEW ADVENTURES!! LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION!! WEAR EXPENSIVE SHOES~ THEY'LL MAKE YOU FEEL SEXY!! But really-I try to stay positive and optimistic about life. (As do we at Sexy 08) I like to try new things, which adds to my life and I keep growing as a result. Some people have told me I have courage because I have tried so many things but I am not brave- I am curious, and have an insatiable desire for knowledge. And I have the confidence to know after experiencing so many things, that the worst that can happen is that you move onto something else. If something doesn't work out, you have more confidence cause you at least tried... best of all- you tried. Funny thing- thinking back to all my careers I have always been the director. In nursing, as a visiting nurse, I was in charge of orchestrating all the players for a patient- aides, physical therapists, occupational therapists... Then I wrote and auditioned ( some were given the part and didn't have to audition-ha) the actors, produced and directed my plays~ On radio, I write the script, direct the show and procure all the talent. And even with real estate, I am the director getting the deal done with mortgage brokers, lawyers, home inspectors, appraisers. I guess that is what I am- a director- too bad I didn't take up film- but life is still young- you never know!!Boring to me is unsexy, and negativity is unsexy. Staying abreast of the times, be an interesting person to be with and truly care about others and keep a smile on your face would be my advice for you youngin's who wonder what sexy is. And flirt, it's fun, cheap ( doesn't cost anything) and totally worth it! Plus it doesn't hurt to be your own person, wear what is your style- looks good on you- and have your own perfume or fragrance that when others smell it they remember you... a wisp of smell, does do tell.....

ME: Wow- all good stuff! You are very directory... as am I. And I'm about to direct our waiter to get us some more drinks.

Trish: Let's do the Charleston.

ME: But of Course!

Some side not stuff: One of our friends and former SPotW's, Lyndsay is running a marathon this weekend!!! GOOD LUCK my best friend who I've never met! And of course, all you Twilights out there - the new full length trailer is out... on myspace trailer park. Or Click HERE --> EDWARD CULLEN/BOBBY P MAKES ME HOT! Also featured below- the men of TWILIGHT... Can Robert be any cuter?

Answer to Question of the Day:
How Sexy is Tina Fey? Um she is damn Sexy! But really I'd have to defer to my younger brother on this one because Maurice loves her and thinks she's HOTT. I just heart her cause she's hilarious and a total dork and that means there's hope for all of our collective Sexy. She a perfect example of Sassy Smart Sexy! She could be the poster child for Sexy 08- if you know, Curt and I weren't all ready to dead Sexy not to be poster peeps. So, in conclusion, Tina Fey- hilarious and Sexy... Sarah Palin, not so much.

Question to Curt:
I loved your 80's movie cliche turned on it's Ass with the gay friend who beats up the loser guy and than makes out with him... What other archetypes can you turn on its Ass and make uber Sexy... Um, how about you rock my Action Movie World now?

Looks Like MSNBC Has Found Its Sexy.

2008-10-09T13:41:00.005-04:00

So the last time I wrote about celebrities, I had some harsh words for the "recently" outed La Aiken. This celebrity Thursday will have a similarly gay but decidedly more positive tone...je le promis!

So, it's election season (what? really?...yes.) and though my political interests have lain dormant for the past four years, of late they have resurfaced with a vengeance. The last time I was paying attention to politics, the folks over at Fox News were spewing their grossly partisan conservative views 24/7. And, four years ago, the folks over at MSNBC, while decidedly more liberal, had not really hit their own partisan liberal stride. People would say "Oh Fox News is a puppet of the GOP...and oh...MSNBC...I guess some of them are kind of liberal."

But now, the folks of MSNBC have taken off the gloves to reveal their super liberal, GOP-hating, finely manicured hands. And I love it. There was something maddeningly unSexy about feeling like Fox News, presenting itself as "fair and balanced," had the loudest and most influential voice in TV "News". Well, now tune into MSNBC at any moment and revel in the joy that its on-air personalities take in knocking McCain, Mrs. Alaska, and the GOP in general.

I want to give some special attention to my favorite MSNBC anchor, the awesome Rachel Maddow. I used to listen to her on Air America back when I lived in the Jerz. Rachel Maddow has a PhD from Oxford and was the first openly gay Rhodes Scholar. She is young, fresh, and deliciously liberal. As a viewer I relate to her anger and outrage over Bush, the GOP, and the election. In fact, each day, she features a segment called "talk me down" in which she is wildly upset about an issue and invites a knowledgeable party onto her show to "talk her down." Um...I need that sometime. She even has charmed the super conservative Pat Buchanan...who she charmingly calls her "fake uncle." HA! My fake aunt is Sally Field (Come have thanksgiving with me Aunt Sally!). Ms. Maddow is someone who embodies the confidence that Sexy '08 strives to achieve, so I urge the politically minded revolutionaries to check her out (not like that!) if you have not yet done so.

Also, though it does not affect her work as a radio/tv politico, I am heartened to see an openly gay person whose sexuality is known but not an issue...she is a wonderful example of how a person's sexuality does not necessarily have to weigh heavily on a person's actual or potential success. I just wish a certain dreamy-eyed, silver haired CNN anchor who goes on Oprah to talk about almost every major event in his life might feel like he could possibly send out a memo and get on with his fabulous life...

Until then, Rachel Maddow is my Sexy political hero!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Oh god, really? You're going to make me do this again. Oh god...ask me that question again tomorrow and maybe I'll have a better answer. Sorry, Sexy.

Question for Nicolle:
Also on the subject of politics...seriously, how Sexy is Tina Fey?

My Fall is Going to be Totally Sexy!!! Top 5's back and taking names.

2008-10-08T10:41:00.016-04:00

Wednesday, get yer Wednesday here!!! O Joy, yet another hump-day extravaganza here at Sexy 08! TGIW, I guess, if you will (and if you will not, that's your prerogative, I suppose). I'm just trying to stay positive here folks. And on top of that, I'm so committed to our Sexy work that while I sit and listen in on a very important meeting, I will still write this blog and expound on Sexy all because I love you! So in honor of my favorite time of the year, I'd thought I'd let you know how I'm personally continuing my Sexy domination of the last few months that make up 08. So here it is- to inspire our readers... so that you all grab the Sexy balls of the Autumn and make it your best. Nikki's Top 5 Sexiest of the Fall!!! It's what's for dinner! (or like what's for Fall? whatevs.)

1. My Sexy 32nd: What? What's that? That sounds strange, Nikki? A Sexy what? I'm so confused. Your Awesome is overwhelming. Shhhhhh, calm down my friends... It's ok. I said, my Sexy 32nd. Look I'm not getting married any time soon, but I totally wanted to throw a huge party with lots of drinking and dancing, like a reception without all the hoopla. And then I mentioned that to Charlemagne, my wonderful partner in crime here and he was like "You should throw a Sweet 32nd, double 16's" - WTF, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA! And then I was talking to my sister (Hey Michelle) and she was like not a Sweet 32nd, a SEXY 32nd... in honor of Sexy 08! Um brilliant!!! So that's how the idea was conceived and grown to term and now with a mere 10 days to go... we are ready for the birth process, I mean party! So on Oct 18th I am having a Sexy 32nd... celebrating my Sexiest birthday yet. Important Sexy Side Notes: Michelle, Maurice and my Mom are coming in the for this Awesome good time! I still have hope for Charlemagne too! So the lesson: It is important to embrace your Sexy... find a reason and make it happen. BTW- Sexy 32nd patent pending- it's all my idea bitches!

2. Kiddie Birthdays: I realize that doesn't sound too Sexy, but you know what... I get to see my friends and their kids and partake in cake and running around. I also love that this reminds myself why I love kids, but from a distance. "O sure Kailey Monster Aunkiecolle totes wants to play Candyland, but OOOps I've gotta run! Sorry!!" You know, the way my vagina folds in on itself whenever I've spent too much time with kids is a totally Sexy way to ring a bell in my head (the warning bell of no babies) that while I love my friends' and sister's kids, I am not particularly made for mother-hood. But like I said, these October/November parties (cause my friends are totally aiming for my birthday to steal it from me) are my time to be Aunkiecolle, super Aunt and she's a totally Sexy biotch!

3. Equus: I am going to see Equus in November. I am going to see "no longer underage" Harry Potter (Sexy Daniel Radcliffe) get weird and naked with horses. I'm going to see it with Killer and K&S and it will be a hoot and Awesome Sexy times. I cannot wait to see it. I mostly cannot wait to see his penis because I am a pervert. I really don't know how else to explain the Sexy of this- he's Super Hot, he's going to be Naked and we have really good seats because K&S do not play around when it comes to dick. End Transmission.

4. Soccer: Running around with boys and getting my Ass handed to me has been surprising Sexy this Fall. I forced myself to get out and play and make it count. I got a few Soccer balls kicked at my boobs (um breast plates would be beneficial) and I managed to injure my right knee cause I fell like a spazz. But all in all, I bought a new soccer ball (my old one was given to me by TDWBR-OS)... got into a crazy email war with another woman... demasculinized a guy during a game... practiced my ass off alone... and made some new friends and even possibly a really good friend all in the name of Sexy 08 Awesome. I suggest you all do something like this, I mean not the ball to the boobs, but like everything else was pretty cool. Go Team! (we aren't that good!)

5. TWILIGHT: By now, a lot of you have discovered the Awesome of the Twilight Saga, aka the books. Every day I find out that more of you are falling in love with Edward Cullen. And then, then I get to wrangle you into the wonder that is Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen because the movie is on it's way. Well, actually on November 21st my dear Sexy Twilight lovers... the wait is over. More importantly over your wait, is my wait~ that has lasted almost a whole year to see this movie~ will be over and the promotional blitz will begin... Soundtrack, calendars, trading cards, posters, t-shirts, the FINAL TRAILER (btw released this week)- all of it will finally culminate and orgasm all over us in November my friends- so get ready. Edward Cullen is coming and then so will I because I can't get enough of him, Bobby P and my vibe Edward... O MY Edward... it's almost time!!!! I mean, if you could live forever, what would you live for? (See below- look at him... That's what I'd live for... can you feel the heat? I can and it's Awesome.)

Answer to Question of the Day:
I kind of answered your question in my blog, didn't I? Things I'd love to do any fall and not just this fall would be - return to Salem, Mass and check out Sleepy Hollow too. I love Halloween Fun!!!!! So those would just add to my Sexy Autumn... maybe next year for the awesome of 09!

Question to Curt:
I loved your 80's movie cliche turned on it's Ass with the gay friend who beats up the loser guy and than makes out with him... What other archetypes can you turn on its Ass and make uber Sexy... Um, how about you rock my Action Movie World now?

It's the Fourth Quarter...Are You Ahead of the Spread or Do You Need to Mount a Rally?

2008-10-07T12:12:00.008-04:00

It's been a great year for Sexy and for this revolution but Nikki and I are not done yet. We have one more quarter to seal the deal, if you will. The Third quarter of Sexy '08 (July, August, and September) has just recently come to an end, so it's time once again to do a little quality control...time to do some personal inventory and ask oneself some important questions about the state of Sexy.

As in previous quarterly reports, I will ask the questions this week and answer them next week...to give us all time to think. Again I invite any and all readers to share their own answers to these questions...we're all in this together.

There were 92 days in the third quarter of Sexy '08...on how many of those days did you actually take the time to look Sexy, and did that affect your overall Sexy on said day?

Nicolle and I invited several wise people to be SPotW or to write us a guest blog...which of those guests had the greatest impact on your Sexy in the third quarter? Why/How?

Name one positive change to your Sexy that manifested itself in the third quarter (but had not previously been seen earlier in the Revolution).

Did you confront any and all entities that threatened your Sexy in the third quarter? If so, which ones? Did your Sexy emerge victorious?

Who is one person you know who was particularly inspirational to you...in this past quarter...as far as getting and staying Sexy is concerned?

Are there any obstacles you can foresee in the upcoming fourth quarter (October 1st-December 31st) that your Sexy will need to be in peak condition to defeat?

Most importantly, are you sexier now than you were on January 1st? April 1st? July 1st?

Answer to Nicolle's question:
You may not recall Nicolle that my taste for 80's movies is not well-developed. In fact, I have not seen many, if not all of the major iconic "80's movies" that I imagine you refer to. So let's just say that I would be the sharp-tongued gay one who goes to the prom with his best girlfriend and who beats up the guy who dicked her over in the bathroom at the prom. And then we make out...not me and the girl but me and the guy I beat up.

Question for Nicolle:
Besides your Sexy 32nd, name a Sexy fall activity that you have on your docket in the coming weeks...and tell us why it's Sexy.

Single and Sexying it!

2008-10-06T10:30:00.015-04:00

By now, you all know I'm single. I've been single most of my Awesome (almost) 32 years now. And even those RARE times when I was involved with someones (Squire726 and TDWBR-OS), I was practically single because those situations were strange and bizarre and like over the Internet and you know, with a married man (my bad!). So my single-ness has helped to mold me, define me, birth me, spank me, lick me, and from time to time (occasionally)- love me... it has also become, horrifying and surprising as this may sound, something I am not ashamed of at all and I think that's terribly Sexy and totally Awesome of me. (O no no, stop applauding. Please, I'm not that good.)

Let me start by saying, I have crazy Awesome relationships with my friends and family and that is ultimately what makes my being single so not-oppressive (that and a great vibrator named Edward)... I mean, the people in my life, they fill my time up to the brim with good times and good cheer (so does Edward)... so it stops me from feeling empty ever. I am like a 12 yr old boy with a really fast metabolism at an all you can eat friend buffet! I can't stop eating friends! (hmmm that went somewhere weird) Also, I do not have a biological clock booming in my ear, ticking off the precious possibility of offspring. My vag's lack of interest (so apathetic, only Edward keeps her attention) helps keep that lecherous monkey of coupledom, Juan, off my back... But actually, none of this is ultimately relevant to what my point is today (of which I have not gotten to yet), I mean I know I am pretty ok with my life and my status as Sexy Single Sassy Co-Revolutionary... My real issue is... I mean, what I want to know is... why aren't "you" ok with it??! (O don't act surprised... You know what I'm talking about)

I don't really get why it's unSexy of me to be single and not really extra-curricularly trying to change that... If I stumble across a hottie from time to time and enter into a challenging round of "what is this?" with him and still end up going to a Saturday matinee movie by myself, what is the big unSexy fricking deal? No, I didn't join Match.com and post 100 pictures of myself trying to reel in the most eligible single bach in the greater Central Jerz... No, I don't go to any bars with the intention of meeting my future (alcoholic) pimped-out husband (note to scary creepy men who hit on me at bars)... No, I didn't put a sign on my luscious huge rack that says I'll suck dick (expertly) for a marriage contract. (What, I didn't!)

I know I'm not exactly going to get into Dating University with no after-school hook-up activities listed and low SATs. But so what, like Charlemagne and I mentioned a few times last week, we are not in those boxes. I had to accept a while ago that my life was going to be OK with or without a man to pal around with permanently. And none of this is to say that I don't want to get married and fall in love. Hello, clearly I do... I love men, all kinds of men (specifically Superhero men) and I do want to find someone, but let's say I don't for a long time- I'm ok with that (thanks to Edward and Robert Pattinson). Is the reason some of you aren't ok with that because you aren't ok with your own choices, a little insecure maybe? I mean I know that when you are in love you want everyone to be in love and love love love bleep boop blop... etc, but just imagine how it sounds to us "singles" sometimes- really. We love to hear about your love life, but don't really wanna hear how we aren't trying hard enough to find love ourselves. Save the lecture for your Frosh 101 class "Love and the Internet: Making it Work." (That would be an Awesome class to take)

We are all Sexy my dear co-revs... the coupled ones, the single ones, the triple-decker ones. Confidence in whatever we are doing/living is what makes us Sexy. There is a middle ground - you know... somewhere between your coupled friend's "O did you try that hot new dating trend digging ditches for dead people... Shelia totes met her new bf doing it- she said it was so awesome" and your single friend's "And then like the guy lifted his shirt and was like rubbing his nipple on me, but not really looking me in the eye... what do you think that means?" is a lovely place called respect. Respect is Sexy. Aretha knew it, and now you all do too. Love it, Live it, Learn it and Be Sexy to each other. And you know, stop saying that I must be lonely- cause I'm not.

Answer to Question of the Day:
If I could travel back in time... I would skip out on my own existence and maybe like go to the 80s and see how Sexy being a teen in the 80s was... I mean all that "dancing" really being like a metaphor for Sex was kind of Awesome. I mean if I busted a move in social studies class back then it was practically like I was masturbating right there. I think that would be totally Sexy. Or like the Wild West cause there's something Sexy about dirty guys shooting each other in dusty surroundings... I think.

Question to Curt:
If you could be a Sexy character in an 80's teen movie, what movie and what kind of Sexy stereotype would you be??

Sexiest Person of the Week: Traci!

2008-10-03T16:16:00.015-04:00

This Week's Sexiest Person is a current citizen of Colorado, specifically the fun and hip metropolis of Denver. Traci P is a former member of the Basic Eight who left Chi-town for the altitude of Denver, and many a day passes that I wish she was still here to entertain me with her sharp tongue and her no-nonsense approach to people and to life in general. I did have the pleasure of seeing her in August upon dropping former SPotW Jackie off at her new home. I found Traci looking and feeling Sexy and in a Sexy relationship with a Sexy guy (what up Chad?!?!). The west has clearly bee treating her well.

*****

Traci and I went prospecting in the Rocky Mountains. I met her on a brisk Saturday morning in a stream where we looked for gold and discussed Sexy.

Curt: Traci, it's so beautiful up here.

Traci: I know...and there are a million places around here that are just as beautiful as this.

Curt: Millions of other places to look for gold? Maybe I should move here. I need a job. I could be a prospector.

Traci: Yeah, I think they might have found most of the gold that there is to find up here...so...that might be tough...

Curt: Damn. So, Traci, you are Sexiest Person of the Week!

Traci: Yes, that's awesome...I have a lot to say.

Curt: Good because the revolutionaries of Sexy '08 are always looking to learn about Sexy...it's a whole year of growth, you know?

Traci: So I've heard.

Curt: Ok...first question. Traci, you went from a performing neophyte to a woman who entertains the people of Denver on a biweekly basis ... how did you use your Sexy to accomplish this?

Traci: Only a select few can appreciate how terribly unSexy I was at improv when I first started out – with no prior experience at all, I might add. But I held my own during our grad show run at i.O., even though I was shaking with fear and close to passing out most nights, and after that I improved with the help of the Sexy Basic Eight! I left the Basic Eight, and Chicago, with a boost of confidence I had never known before. Becoming comfortable with myself onstage, in front of an audience, made me that more confident in real life, and once I stopped judging myself and just started having fun onstage, improvising became second nature to me. Now I get to perform every other week with a house team I love – “Magical Critters.” Denver’s Bovine Metropolis Theater is what i.O., from stories I’ve heard, was like back in the early days: young and fresh, fighting for a name in town, easy to get stage time at, etc. Love the theater, love my team, love performing, but I’ll be honest: There’s one hurdle left before I’m officially a Sexy Improviser, and that is overcoming my fear of high-school only audiences, which the Bovine gets a lot of. They say things like, “What did she just say?” and “What is he wearing?” No joke, they’re brutal. But my goal this year is to rid myself of that fear, and I’m getting a lot better at ignoring the sexy f*ck out of them.

Curt: Oh my...that is certainly a challenge...oh teens. Traci, when you moved to Denver, you were a sassy single woman ... now you are a sassy woman in a serious relationship ... what's your Sexy secret?

Traci: I’ve always said I love them Midwestern boys, and I happened to find one out here in Colorado! We met through a mutual friend, also a Midwesterner, and have been pretty much inseparable since. The secret to our Sexy success is that we balance each other out perfectly. He has inspired me to trim my Sexy figure by hiking, mountain biking and snowboarding. Yup, we’re that couple! I’ve inspired him to eat healthier (I have a lot of diet restrictions), pay more attention to politics (Go Obama!) and absolutely love football! We both love traveling and adventure, so Colorado is a great spot for us. We also love movies (we’ve begun Traci’s Film School and are watching all of the Coen Brothers’ movies in chronological order), love board games, video games, playing pool, darts and shuffleboard. He’s patient with me when I’m being difficult, and I return the favor. We accept each other’s faults (most of the time!) and work every day to make our relationship even Sexier!

Curt: Wow Traci...that sounds like quite the success story. I'm glad to hear you got him into politics because it's an election year. What is the Sexiest thing about the presidential/vice-presidential ticket of your choice?

Traci: I’m a huge Obama supporter! What’s Sexiest about Obama, to me, is his honesty and genuineness. In my opinion, we need a president that doesn’t make decisions based on who is funding their campaign or who has influence in this country. We need a president who makes decisions based on the advice of experts, based on fact, based on common sense, based on constituents’ needs, based on what’s best for our country. He may not have as much experience as McCain, but I trust him to make more responsible decisions than that old, childish, temperamental Leprechaun. And we need some responsibility in Washington ASAP, for serious. Sexy Obama for president!

Curt: Good thing you're out there in Colorado! He needs your vote there! This next question comes from former SPotW and current B8-er Amy "Maymee" Verdon. What movie hero/heroine best personifies your Sexy?

Traci: This might sound odd, but Elisabeth Shue, as in the prostitute from Leaving Las Vegas. There was a guy that lived in my building that I was friends with. He drank too much, smoked too much, probably did other things too much. But he was an awesome person, and we had a blast hanging out together. He didn’t have a car, so I took him to get surgery done when he had a nail go through his retina (seriously), and took him to get groceries and stuff when he was recovering. I didn’t think anything of it, he needed help and couldn’t do it himself. He made me watch Leaving Las Vegas, after I told him I’d never seen it, because he would always say I was his Elisabeth Shue, that everyone else had given up on him. I’ve had other people compare me to her, too. If I really care about someone, I will do everything in my power to make sure that they are happy, and Sexy!

Curt: You're right...that does sound odd...but I get it...being a great friend is one of the Sexiest things you can be! So, Traci, we all find ourselves in an unSexy rut from time to time. Think back to the last time you were in such a rut...tell us...what was the unSexy force that was keeping you there...and how did you overcome it?

Traci: I’m very good at being hard on myself and letting bad situations or unfortunate events completely affect me, to the point where I’m no longer myself, and to the point where I forget who I am and how strong I can be. I pretty much break down and give up. God, that’s really hard to admit. I’m also very good at taking out my frustrations on others who do not deserve them, which is pretty f*cking selfish. I’ve forced a few people from my life by doing that, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do or say to get them back. I now understand, fully, the common sense thoughts of: It’s OK to screw up every now and then, not everyone is going to like you, severe life situations only make you stronger. I don’t internalize as much, I don’t blame others or the world for my misfortunes, I don’t dwell on stupid sh*t anymore, and I’m much happier because of it. I’m thankful for all of the amazing friends that have stuck by me through everything, and my mom as well, and I’m also super thankful that I didn’t meet my Sexy boyfriend until taking care of all of this!

Curt: Word. We all need to make sure that our Sexy vessels are ready for the big trip before we try to make someone else ride in them with us...does that make sense?

Traci: Sure.

Answer to Nicolle's question:

If I could travel in time, I would go beck to when I was in college and have a big long talk with myself about how I was wasting my college years being unSexy. I think that's where a lot of my unSexy behavior took firm root.

Question for Nicolle:
What if you could travel in time? When would you travel to?

HAPPY SEXY BIRTHDAYS!!!

2008-10-03T10:47:00.001-04:00

We have two very special Sexy Birthdays to announce today...

First Happy Birthday to Curt's sister Hilary!!!!!

Second- Happy Birthday to former SPotW Ken!!!!!

The Day of the Trendsetters.
Sexy.

Yay Birthdays!!!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer... The Sexiest of All TV Vampire Shows!

2008-10-02T08:59:00.010-04:00

Ok, so while it's really nice that everyone on the planet is now all "vampires are awesome and totally respectable... and have you seen TrueBlood yada yada yada... and O hey, I'm totes reading Twilight too (yay!)", I have to say that once upon a time none of you cared. Once upon a time, a vampire lovin' gal like myself had to fight for the basic human rights to enjoy some vamptastic pop-culture without looking like a dork. Once upon a time, vampires were not seen as being cutting edge , Awesome, Sexy tv. Once upon a time, a small group of Sexy TV pioneers (me), knew you were all wrong and would one day see the error of your ways... Once upon a time ('97-'03) there was a Sexy, creative, funny show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it was magical and lovely and the so so Sexy. And I loved it with all my dorkified Sexy heart. (and still do)... O those Once upon a Time's...

Now some of you are totally like "Wasn't that a really bad movie starring 90210's Luke Perry??" and you'd be a little right. That wasn't the best of the best of the Buffy Universe on display and luckily Joss "I'll watch any tv show you make" Whedon got to make the show despite or in spite of the movie. And to make matters better, BTVS was only loosely based on the movie... and Awesomely based on all things totally super cool. Blond cheerleader type; perky, annoying, vapid... um burdened with the scary birth-right to be the chosen one, the one girl in whole world with the strength and skill to fight the forces of darkness. (I'm such a dork cause I'm totes loving this) And she, Buffy Summers and her band of merry Slayerettes, did fight and did shag and did cry and spoke to me on so many levels for 7 seasons... It was all about female empowerment and self-knowledge and ass-kicking and making out with David Boreanaz. BTVS's Sexy was/is unstoppable...

I will tell you this, Buffy is not just a great drama-filled tear-inducing tour-de-force... Though I love it for being that too. It is hilarious, it is self-aware and mocking... it is culturally aware (Willow and Tara, lesbian love without all the Ally McBeal pandering)... it is a musical, yea that's what I said MUSICAL! (Once More with Feeling rocks my world). Plus who doesn't love Alyson Hannigan (HIMYM) or Seth Green (um just plain Awesome) or Anthony Stewart Head (Folgers Coffee Guy)?? Are there people on the planet who do not get these actors appeal?? And did I mention David Boreanaz sometimes shirtless and making out? O I did, right. Well no need not to mention it again.

In the end, Buffy was rarely recognized by the horrible evil Emmys (at least they like Tina Fey). SMG (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy herself) was over-looked time and time again (and now we all over look her because she's in like hiding I think) for any awards. BUT it was always loved by its fans, the loyal crazy Buffy enthusiasts... And I gotta say, a show that ends with the main character (who had been driven mad by the messed up men in her life) decides that she's cookie dough and not yet moist delicious cookie her and thus not ready to be eaten by anyone yet... is fine by me (and a Sexy lesson to us all). Especially when she empowers the entire potential Slayer female population with her super-human strength and speed and healing, stating "What if you could have that power… now? In every generation one Slayer is born because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. (She points at Willow, who smiles nervously.) This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of this scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. Slayers… every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong? "

Aren't we ready to be strong and Sexy. That's all Buffy ever wanted for us... that and some hot vampire Sexy with David Boreanaz, which is also not too bad and totally magically Sexy. O Buffy... you had me at hello, you had me at hello. Rent it on DVD today... see why Sexy Vampires didn't start with TrueBlood and hard as it is for me to say this, Edward Cullen (I'm sorry baby!)

Answer to Question of the Day:
If I could teleport, God there's an open ended question. I guess if I could have teleported yesterday, I would have gone to see Robert Pattinson play some music in LA last night. And make one of Sexy 08 goals of meeting him come true. If I can only teleport from today on, I guess I might go check out Spain for a day. I think it would be Awesome and the Sexy and the hot guys... O wait, isn't this like the premise of that horrible JUMPER movie starring pre-Darth Vadar? That movie was bad, he is horrible... ugh and blah you've ruined the Sexy for me on this question. Now I can't get the horrible memory of his unfortunate acting outta my head. It's like a stain!!

Question to Curt:
If you could time-travel, what Sexy time would you go to?

More on Boxes...

2008-10-01T22:00:00.000-04:00

So inspired by Nikki Illinois's blog yesterday, I have decided to step outside of my box or rather this blog's "box" and forego this week's Five Sexiest and--

Hey, get back in your box!

Um who said that?

It's me...one of your cynical readers.

What's your name?

I'd rather not say.

Right. Well, did you read what Nicolle said yesterday?

Yeah...and I have to say I like my box and I don't like to leave it much, if at all.

You must have a pretty roomy box, then.

Not particularly. I mean boxes aren't necessarily known for their comfort, are they?

No...so why do you like your box?

I don't know...it's comfortable. I know everything that goes on in my box and know what looks good in my box and who looks good in my box.

Don't you ever wish that you could expand your box...you know, invite more people to your box, maybe thrown up a few new tapestries, buy some non-Ikea furniture?

Um, people seem to like my box...so I think I'll keep it the way it is.

So, you read this blog?

Yeah.

Enough to feel like you can interrupt me in the middle of my late-posted Wednesday blog?

Well, maybe that was a little presumptuous...I guess I don't really read it that much...I mean I like pictures and British boys.

Ah, so you have not quite embraced the Sexy '08 philosophy, have you?

How can you tell?

Well, the whole box thing.

Really?

Yeah...Sexy '08 strives to leave and stay outside the box. Sexy '08 demands that we celebrate ourselves, our confidence, our unique snowflake-ness, etc.

Hmm. What happens if I stay in the box?

Well, if you stay in the box...then your Sexy may shrivel up and die. Your Sexy needs direct sunlight...it needs to interact with people who are different from you, people who wear bright colors, people who will challenge and encourage and champion you. And very often, those awesome sounding people cannot be contained in a box...

Ok, then...I think I have a lot to think about.

Gosh all this talk of boxes makes me want to eat p*ssy.

Really?

No. Never.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
The sexiest bird is the Flamingo. It's a beautiful mover, has great balance, is a gorgeous pink color, and is very social.

Question for Nicolle:
If you could teleport, where would you take your Sexy for a day trip?

I will not stay in the box... My Sexy is too Awesome for the box! (he he I said box)

2008-09-30T08:46:00.013-04:00

If I were part of a statistical study, there are certain things about me that would fall outside the color lines/normal box, my dear Sexy readers. You know... I'm all "Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference..." What I mean to say is I don't intentionally make opposing decisions to what the rest of the planet does and/or completely ignore my "How to Be A Girl in 10,000 Easy Steps" Manual... I just am who I am... And maybe that's too much for mostly every guy I meet, but should my response to their originality malfunction be to beat myself into normalcy submission? Be less everything I am to make it easier to fit into a relationship Jello Mold? Somehow that seems counter-productive to the Sexy 08 philosophy and all that is holy in the world and yet... what if?

I've been asked before, by friends, if I thought maybe I was too (fill in the blank)... intimidating, loud, spooky, in-your-face, outgoing, purple... funny, interesting, neon, smart, luke-warm, sassy and that maybe my being too ______ scared guys off. An interesting and legit question, no doubt about that... I am very "off the wall" sometimes and totes purple and all of the above, but I mean, aren't I suppose to be looking for someone who gets me, the real me... the sometimes mean, always loyal, sexually open-minded, really fascinatingly and strangely creative, and always (well almost on time) on-time me? Right? Or am I supposed to tone it all down to a nice neutral shade of pathetic pale so that some poor guy doesn't get the crap scared outta him? I don't actually know the answer, but I can tell you right now... that second choice pisses me off a little.

I can tell you right now... I am tired of questioning my date-ability. I am tired of jokingly saying I am "undateable" or that I am "not easily matched." I have general market appeal, I am very well-liked, have been told I could get along with anyone, am really cute, can have a conversation with a lamp, etc... I find that whole idea that there is something wrong with me lame and stupid and just definitely not very Sexy 08. So what if the general male public isn't tough enough to ride this ride... I mean who wants to date someone so weak and kitteny? Not I, remember, I plan on making love to a Superhero sometime in my life.

So I think, my Sexy compatriots, I'm going to continue to march to the beat of my own bongos (my own bongos, like I'm beating my boobies... he he) and continue to be a co-revolutionary Sexy Awesomista. I mean, come on... besides, who would want to read a blog written by an Every woman instead of me (or Curt)? Not I said the Sexy chicken... So I'm saying, screw all the losers who don't get me, the blog, my dear Sexy friend Charlemagne, Vampires, my love of Robert Pattinson, you, your friends, my friends... any of it. I'd rather be technicolor me than some shadowed hallow, empty version. And if it takes a Superhero (Superman maybe) or an uber-strong Vampire (Edward Cullen) to tame this mare, then so be it. All the rest of you lame-ass jokers can enjoy the very stable, normal, monotonous ride on the merry-go-round. Yee-haw motherf*ckers... yee-haw!

Answer to Question of the Day:
The answer is 6. And there you have it. Have a Merry and Sexy Tuesday! O crap it's Twilight Tuesday on MTV. Gotta check that out!

Question to Curt:
So um, if your Sexy were a bird... what kind would it be?

Curt's internet is always punching him in the Sexy

2008-09-29T16:20:00.003-04:00

Once again Charlemagne's lack of internets is messing with his, mine and your Sexy.

Sorry folks.

He may get something up later, he may not. But be sure I will be posting a hum-dinger of a blog tomorrow... somewhere between pissed and confident and Sexy.

<3 always,
Nikki Illinois

Sexiest Person of the Week: TERRA!

2008-09-26T11:28:00.005-04:00

It's Friday- thank the fucking Lord of all that is holy. I have not slept well this entire week and a cranky Nicolle is like one of the worst Nicolle's there is- no really. In any case, as always, it is SPotW and today it is Terra-bear, my brother's (Hey Maurice) lovable and angry, baby dog. (Hey look if Curt's cat can be SPotW, then so can Terra... it's only fair). In any case, Terra is an adorable, mad little son of a pain in the asscheeks. She rules over my parents' home with an iron paw and torments everyone there. I love her because I don't live with her and I always wanna grab her and give her kisses on her head. (um I love dogs, more than babies and even more than regular people). Today she and I discussed home, the familia, and - of course- Sexy.

Terra and I used some magic powder and traveled into one of those ridunkulous movies where dogs can talk and their mouths move and they are UBER intelligente. The plot of this particular movie is that the puppies in question have to stop these nefarious terrorists from taking over the US government. There is, of course, high-tech weaponry and funny, cute moments where a dog puts her paw on a scanner and her dog dish flips over to reveal a very small, but powerful computer.... Terra and I met in the park during a scene where the doggies beat the living shit out of one of the bad guys.

ME: Why are the dogs using martial arts? I mean that German Shepherd alone could tear that man a new butt-hole... just bite him.

Terra: Little known fact, dogs are just as graceful as cats. We like the opportunity to show it off sometimes.

ME:I've seen you run right into things and fall off the couch- that's not graceful. BTW, you are SPotW or rightfully so- SAotW.

Terra: I am so pretty. Everyone says so, so I exhibit no surprise at all. I am also very smart- people clap for me all the time.

ME: O Terra-pants, I just wanna hug you! Anyway, you are a dog who loves and understands power and bullying others. What makes power so alluring and Sexy for you?

Terra: Before we get started, could you scratch my neck? (Of course) Thanks. I don’t bully people. I simply try to enforce the order that I know must exist in a well run, efficient house hold. I mean, who knows more about efficiency than a German dog….a small, angry German dog.
For instance, if I happen to poop in the house, I know that that poop must go in the loud smelly chair in the bathroom. But sometimes, people are in there…..so I HAVE to bark at the door to let them know my poop is in the hallway. That’s not bullying, that’s enforcing rules. Also, everyone must listen to Anne. Everything she says is important and must be listened to. We Germans respect a clear chain of command. I must bark at those who touch, disagree with, or even stand too close to Anne. She is the leader and belongs to me. And as such a loyal and busy enforcer of rules, I occasionally need to be scratched for forty minutes straight….and if I want the person in the reclining chair to lean back, I think I’m well within my rights to scratch at their face with my freakishly sharp dog claws until they pull the lever. So I’m not a bully…..I just follow and enforce rules. And nothing is sexier than that. Uhhh….I didn’t tell you to stop scratching me.

ME: I have to stop to write down your answers Nazi dog. Speaking of listening to Anne, if you were the alpha dog, how would you make the Langlois house-hold more Sexy?

Terra: Security is very sexy, as is suspicion. Unfortunately I am the only member of my household that understands this very important fact. For some reason, no one else is aware of the elderly couple that lives in the house right next door. Who are these people and why do they live so close to my house. Everyday, I spend hours staring at that place, growling occasionally even when there is no one outside. However, despite all of my best efforts, no one in my family is aware of the danger. If I was officially in charge, we would definitely pull a preemptive strike. I would personally shake one of my toys at them so hard and muster up my most ferocious growl, sending them into a fear based panic attack that would probably end their lives. Yeah……those people would get the toy shaking of a life time.

ME: Elderly people seem suspicious to me too. I might need to shake a toy at them myself. Ooo now that you mention toys, you love your toys more than any people in the house, which toy is the Sexiest and why?

Terra: Mini….Mini is the sexiest toy. Some people think its creepy to own a toy that looks exactly you, but those people suck. Actually, most people suck. They suck and they’re usually up to no good. Just thinking about makes me want to grab Mini and give her the shaking of a life time….but I digress. Mini also has a nice squeaker…..nothing is sexier than a toy that squeaks. I could literally sit and squeak toys for hours. Especially when other people are watching tv. Literally hours of squeaking. In all honesty, Donkey, my pro Democratic Party toy is probably better for squeaking and chasing, but I can’t pick it as sexiest toy. The Democratic Party doesn’t really push the suspicious, angry foreign policy I am behind. Besides, I think that elderly couple next door support Democrats……and you already know how I feel about them, and their suspicious ways. I mean, what are they really up to?

ME: Um really, like let's forget about those old people next door. Aren't they only there for like half the year... the warm part? You should be ok for at least 6 months now... Get over it, k? Anyway, you seem to have a very mean sense of humor. Describe an instance where you totally made some one's life a living hell, but clearly enjoyed it. How was this Sexy?

Terra: If someone is lying on the floor, I absolutely love jumping off the couch and landing square on his crotch. Yeah…..there’s nothing better than that sound a person makes when a 16 pound dog lands squarely on his crotch. I mean, I must love that sound because I do it all of the time….any chance I can get. As for why it's sexy? I don’t know. To be honest I have no idea what that word means. (turns head quickly)

ME: I am picturing you jumping off the couch into Maurice's genitals... hilarious good times. I also like it when you become insulted when someone farts near you. That's some awesome Sassy Sexy attitude you give. Especially the look of complete disgust and the walk away... really priceless. Ok, last question... Do you think being spoiled makes you more or less Sexy?

Terra: I’m not spoiled. Who told you I’m spoiled? I only jump up and down and push people with my paws when they are eating dinner. And I wait patiently to lick the inside of ice cream containers until the person eating is done….or until they put their spoon down for a second, whichever comes first. And lets face it, I only get new toys when I get new bags of food…..the really expensive special dachshund food that can only be found in the Petsmart two towns over from where we live…it’s the only one I’ll eat. Some people say I must have a weird dog eating disorder, but I say those people can kiss my ass and go to hell. Firstly because I have no idea what an eating disorder is, and secondly because I like telling people to kiss my ass….almost as much as rubbing my ass on somebody’s face as I walk up their body and turn to look out the window... Sorry, I got a little side tracked…as I was saying, I only get new toys about once a month…..except for Christmas….I expect to get a lot of toys at Christmas. If I don’t, I give people the shit stare. Just to make them feel like crap. Dogs celebrate Christmas too assholes! What was the original question? Oh, who cares…scratch my neck.

ME: Ok, but only cause I love you so much Terra-Pants. (picks her up and cuddles her)

Terra: (Making her baby growls at me)- Stop, stop loving me. Let go. If you don't stop I will go all Bruce Lee on your Ass Nicolle.

ME: I can't help it! I love to cuddle you. Now let's go find you a new toy!

Answer to Question of the Day:
If my Sexy was a soap opera character... hmmmm I would want something so ridiculous... like my evil twin sister comes back to town and she is a crazy person who locks me in a basement and pretends to be me and she ruins my life and has sex with my hot boyfriend/cop and everyone thinks I've lost my mind except the guy I've been hanging out with at the local youth center. He's the only one who can tell its not really me and he finds me. And then my evil twin gets pushed over the edge of a cliff somehow and I break up with the hot cop who did it with her and I marry the Youth Center guy... and well I mean couldn't this just go on forever- like all Soap Opera plots? So etc...

Question to Curt:
If your Sexy was a bird- which would it be?

Duh.

2008-09-25T15:31:00.005-04:00

Today's blog is not so much about Sexy. It's just my opinion...the expression of which is Sexy...so there you go...

So earlier this year I went on a bit of a rant about gay public figures who stay in the closet. The world of gay celebrity has resurfaced once again this week, as Clay Aiken, who has always looked like a lesbian, quitted the closet. Was this a surprise? Not to those of us with a pulse. What was a surprise to me is that this actually made news...which begs the question: Did Gay Clay Aiken come out of the closet in an attempt to remain culturally relevant?

I mean...who knows what Clay Aiken is up to these days, anyway? I know he's on "Broadway" but, like, so is everyone who used to be in a boy band...so that's hardly an accomplishment. Does he still make albums (using music and lyrics written entirely by other people)? Does he still "perform"? I honestly have no idea. I did hear vaguely that he had spilled his seed into a test tube and fathered a child...which...ok.

I mean are 50+ women and teenage girls still wetting themselves over La Aiken? I'd have to guess not...they've likely moved onto a number of other sexually non-threatening young men who rose to power via American Idol or Disney or Nickelodeon. So...pardon me for being cynical and less than thankful for this news.

I admire Rosie O'Donnell for having made the plight of her people such a cause-celebre, but I'd like to remind everyone that she came out after she decided to retire from her massively successful talk show. So basically, once she milked the public for all of their adoration, she said oh yeah, now that I have your money, I eat pussy. It would have been a bit more sincere if she had come out at the peak of her success as opposed to after she'd already tired of it. Again, since then she has certainly made up for it by being a huge champion for her people.

So, you can understand why I look upon the Aiken announcement without a giant Welcome banner hanging overhead. I cannot help but think that now that he is no longer culturally relevant...now that his "sex appeal" (which was ?able to start with) is no longer a commodity...that this is just not that brave...and does not deserve our applause and attention. Also, I cannot help but suspect that, despite the sentiments about wanting to raise his child with honesty, he enjoyed the idea of being thrust back into a culture which has clearly grown tired of him.

I guess I'm mean. I know that not every gay person has an easy time dealing with being gay, but according to Aiken...he's been out for four plus years and has just been hiding it from the public. Well...he thought he was hiding it, I guess.

Give me time. I will come to appreciate that yet another public figure has come out. But for now, just let me be cynical about it, ok?

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Um I'm just trying to stay positive here and your question is a total downer. Well, I think that if you were trying to defeat something like "gayness" then you've got no shot. I'm sorry, I'm just not that metaphysical or existential. Maybe yoga? I don't know.

Question for Nicolle:
If your Sexy was a Soap Opera character, what would you want her storyline to be?

Defining the Top 5 Hottest Terms at Sexy 08!

2008-09-24T14:15:00.006-04:00

I'm sure if you did like a statistical study of our blog (come on, someone might some day), you would find that there are certain phrases and words that Charlegmagne and I use all the freaking time here. We kind of wanted to create our own Trendy, Hott vernacular here at Sexy 08 so that we seem even more Awesome than average. (This also helps because I tend to use words incorrectly all the time... intensive purposes anyone?). In any case- here are the Sexy 08 Definitions in case you didn't get our memos! Or you are new to the blog.

1. Top-Tier Outfit: noun; meaning a complete collective ensemble of clothing that lifts your Sexy spirit to the highest levels possible. Introduced originally by Charlemagne.
Example:
Nikki Illinois: OMG, you look so hot in your white linen pants and coral sweater vest, Charlemagne. You are practically lighting up the universe with your Sexy.
Charlemagne: Thanks for the compliment, Nikki. I look totes hot in my Top-Tier Outfit, don't I? Now let's grab a seasonal latte at Starbucks.

2. TDWBR-OS (The Devil Wears Banana Republic- On Sale): noun; a nickname for the total ass Nikki Illinois dated and broke up with prior to starting her endeavor at Sexy 08. This break-up was a major catalyst in Nikki taking on her Sexy and making a stand to better herself so she would not end up with any more total asses in her life. So far... so good. Let's hope she prevails. Obviously, Nikki Illinois introduced this nickname originally.

3. TOTES: a shortened form of the adverb totally; meaning absolutely! A "totes" fun fact would be that Nikki Illinois did not enjoy Charlemagne's first uses of the word in convo or in the blog. She felt it was too juvenile, but thanks to her de-aging over the last year, she has fully embraced all things teenagery and is enjoying the word immensely. Other fun shortened words/phrases in Sexy 08 to check out are "co-rev" for co-revolutionary, "SPotW" Sexiest Person of the Week and "what/was-evs" for whatever (was is what in German). Totes is all Charlemagne's doing.

4. It's hard, like eggs ya'll: phrase meant to be said sarcastically when referring to anything difficult. Introduced in the blog by Nikki, though credit is due to a friend of a friend for the actual phrase. Should be used whenever one is feeling like something has got you down and you may not over come it. Used best with other fave Sexy 08 sayings...
Example:
Charlemagne: Hey Nikki! How's your job going these days?
Nikki Illinois: O Char, going to work is rough. With the economy in the down turn and everyone feeling paranoid about it... It's hard, like eggs ya'll.
Charlemagne: Why don't you get a Caramel Apple Cider then?
Nikki Illinois: WTF?
Charlemagne: I'm just trying to stay positive.

5. Bobby P: A dead-Sexy man of 22 years old from the UK. Also known as Robert Pattinson or "my bf" or Edward Cullen on the blog. Currently resides at the top of Nikki Illinois' celebrity list and is a major part of her celebrity crush triumvirate (again!) of David Boreanaz, Tom Welling, and Robert Pattinson. He will star in this Autumn's highly anticipated TWILIGHT movie (due out 11/21/08) and has starred in a few Indie films in Europa. He is totally hott, British, and hilarious, mostly just to Nikki herself. See picture below as an illustration of said "hotness."

Answer to Question of the Day:
I don't know what I am wearing yet- I mean I have an idea. Which is to say, I have a picture in my head and it consists of jeans and a cute tank top of either a green or orange color, but I do not have these items yet. I mean, I may end up in a large bonnet with a staff of some sort herding sheep around- anything is possible with 3 weeks to go!! Hooray Sexy 32nd!

Question to Curt:
When you think you have yet to defeat some major enemies of your Sexy what do you do? How do you defeat them- how do you ultimately change something so inherent in you?

Hey Autumn is Here...Yeah...I Didn't Notice Either....

2008-09-23T15:03:00.004-04:00

So every time the seasons change, I become convinced that the new season is my favorite. When the clocks change and it's suddenly dark at 5pm, I get super excited for Christmas and the winter in general; when it starts to warm up and things get green and birds chip and I start wearing short sleeves, I think Oh I just love the spring; then it's time for shorts and white pants and Saratoga and all of a sudden summer is my favorite...

So, I'm waiting for the fall now...

Any time now would be great...

The Pumpkin Spice Latte has been prominently placed in all Starbucks locations...so I know it much be time for the fall. Gwendolen, despite not having opposable thumbs, has been opening my armoire and dumping my sweaters onto the floor of my bedroom...so I know she's ready for me to deploy the sweater army. I have been burning my Macintosh candle (which I purchased on sale at the Aurora Farms Outlet in Ohio [What up Lipko!?!?]) for a few days now.

So why am I sweating in my living room right now? Maybe because I'm burning a candle when it's 80 degrees outside? Possibly. But seriously, Mama Nature, I am ready for the fall. My Sexy thrives when there is a little chill in the air and when I can layer and wear sweaters and blazers and scarves...so let's get on with it.

Maybe I'm being a little impatient...I mean it just became Autumn a couple of days ago. But I am just excited about the Sexy possibilities of the Fall. Sexy '08, you have no doubt noticed, has been excited about each change that this year has brought. So I encourage you all to get excited about upcoming climate changes and prepare yourselves by looking through your closet for a few top tier outfits.

Also, speaking about exciting changes for the fall...

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Oh dear, in Chamber Choir we did not sing a lot of sexually charged songs...or really any...at all. Our biggest hit was an Ave Maria...not the Ave Maria that Catholics sing on every occasion...but some other Ave Maria. We took it on the road, we won awards, we sang it at funerals. We wore tuxedos, right? With cumberbunds. Sexy? Not sure.

Question for Nicolle:
Do you have a top tier outfit picked out for your Sexy 32nd?

How to Make my Week Sexy... Or ~Christ, it's Monday!

2008-09-22T09:09:00.005-04:00

So- it's Monday. And boy howdy do I have a case of it... (see OfficeSpace if you do not get this reference) This morning all ready has been quite a test of whether or not I wanna be all that I can be at my current job. And I feel kinda sick and I'm exhausted (as per usual). I just wanna go home and sleep and YET... I cannot because I am part of the working world and an adult and have a responsibility to myself and my life to be here and the grass and trees and Jesus... so I need to make an effort to not only be at work and ready to go go go! But I also have a Sexy responsibility to myself and you all (yea woo freaking hoo)... so how will I save my Sexy week (Can I?)? Let's read on and see.

Well to begin with, I (you, the world at large) cannot let the misery of one aspect of your life ruin the rest of your Sexy. Seriously for reals! I mean Curt and I mention that all the time- and we really, really mean it. If you hate your job- do something about it (Like Charlemagne did)! If you can't get fired or quit or you know scream really loud in your office, suck it up and make the most of your none-work related time. Take up badminton or like shuffle-board or crochet stuff... or you know, stripping for money. That's all you can do and that's what I plan on doing this week to make sure I stay sassy and Sexy. (Not stripping for money- I think).

First up, mini-soccer practice tonight! It is so Sexy to be running about with several guys and sweating and rolling around... where was I? Also tonight is HIMYM's season premiere- and while NPH did not win the Emmy (really the Emmys SUCK BALLS)- I am so excited for more good times with this fine, fine sitcom crew. Hooray and btw NPH, I heart you a great deal (Dr Horrible Rocks my World).

Next in my Sexy week line up is a FUN FILLED WING IT WEDNESDAY night! I'm off to see the Amblers (SAMBLER AND AAAMBLER) and enjoy some good tunes (also that night BONES on TV). I'm sure it will be a delight to hang out- I always have fun staying up way too late on a Wed Nite... and being cranky and Sexy for my Thursday morning at work. It reminds me to stay young and have fun! Thursday night (SMALLVILLE) and a soccer game! Hooray again! Well we shall see if that's fun cause I caused some drama-rama with my work soccer team last week because I am an alpha and I can't just go with the flow (I don't abide not playing people when they expend the time and effort to go to these games) - gas is too expensive my friends... O and I'm totally a bitch too! So yea- maybe there will be like a huge blow out and I will be in a death-match with my Arch nemesis Soccer-Crone. OOO the Sexy of drama!

And then... Then it will be Friday. Friday, the best day of the week might be my Sexy night to chill and stay in and use Edward and just relax. My week is starting to sound really Awesome now that I've Sexy-ied it up. I'm getting all juicy and excited thinking about it! (OO not like that- I'm sorry.... tee hee no I'm not) We all really have to learn to keep our heads up and totes stay positive because eggs are hard ya'll and top tier outfits can only help bring our spirits up so much... so never let TDWBR-OS get you down- just make your week the best week ever, every week. We all deserve to feel important, busy, and obviously SEXY!! (And if we need to strip for money to get there- it's ok with me)

Answer to Question of the Day:
The Sexiest song I sang as a part of Women's Chorale? O that would totes be "My Momma Done Told Me" It was some jazz song (fruity) and we had to sing it in three part harmony and I was the super Soprano Two (now I'm like a bass) who practiced my little heart out so I would get my part right because FYI, I suck at harmony. And my sister (Hey Michelle) thought part of the song was "When I was a Kitten" which is wrong. We also had a dance we had to do with it and I started cracking up during the performance because I am prone to giggling and I still have it on video. Why would you make a group of awkward teenage girls sing stupid jazz about what her Momma done told them and then add spastic and moronic dance moves????!

Question to Curt:
What was the Sexiest song you sang in Chamber Choir back in the day?

Sexiest Person of the Week: Reba!

2008-09-19T13:32:00.003-04:00

Well...not that Reba. My dear friend Reba with whom I attended and graduated college...with whom I play monopoly and complain about mediocrity on stage and screen. My Reba, though, cannot be pictured (or even named) due to her high level of security clearance. So you'll have to trust me...this interview is not made up. My Reba is the friend of mine who understands best why I love the equine. She has shared a number of brunches with me, watching "God's'' most gorgeous creatures work out. Someday, we will spend every August morning in Saratoga Springs with a scone and a coffee, taking in the intoxicating equine atmosphere.

I am infinitely lucky that circumstances within Reba's control have moved her to Chicagoland. Now I have access to her Sexy and her straight talk (what up Dolly!) and her awesome husband (what up K-Dawg) and her spectacular daughter. Let's see what Reba has to teach us about Sexy!

Reba and I met at Saratoga Racecourse at 7am on a Wednesday morning. The sun had barely risen but the majestic horses had already begun to stretch their legs. We found a prime spot along the rail and started the Sexy chat.

Reba: I love this. I needed this.

Curt: Me too. This really recharges my Sexy.

Reba: Oh I love the dark ones.

Curt: The dark bays?

Reba: Is that what they're called?

Curt: Yes. I think they're all gorgeous.

Reba: Well, yes but the dark bays are the most beautiful.

Curt: So all horses are beautiful but the dark bays are the most beautiful?

Reba: Is that from Animal Farm?

Curt: Sorta. So! You are Sexiest Person of the Week!

Reba: Yes! Finally!

Curt: You and your husband used to work across the street from each other but now you spend the work day miles and miles apart...what was Sexy about you old situation and what is Sexy about your new one?

Reba: The old situation was very Sexy because whenever I had a Sexy urge, I was able to pop in and have a satisfyingly Sexy moment mid-work-day. Nothing so Sexy that my employment would be compromised, mind you, but a Sexy glance, a Sexy wink, or a Sexy round of sparkling conversation would put just enough Sexy in the day to put a spring in my step. As for my new working situation? Absence makes the Sexy grow fonder.

Curt: Oh I can definitely see that. I know that you feel that your job is not doing much for your Sexy...and that your Sexy might best be served in another capacity. How do you get your Sexy through the day?

Reba: Now I'm able to get my daily dose of Sexy by staying in touch with those I love via the wonders of technology. I can make a quick phone call or drop an e-mail to my close friends or family any time I need a pick-me-up. For the sake of your Sexy, it's important to have a support system.

Curt: Word. Nikki and I know all about that...don't we Nikki? Ok. Reeb...you are married...but unlike many other married/coupled people I know, you let your Sexy single friends do their own thing and never suggest that they hurry up and find "someone"? Do you have any advice for married and single people who toil in this kind of dynamic?

Reba: Someone else's love life is their own business. If you choose to share it with me, I'm interested and always willing to listen. If you choose to keep it private, I'm more than happy to gossip about who was last voted out on Project Runway instead. My advice to those who are single: Take your Sexy time and share when you're ready. And if married people are over-interested in your partnering, perhaps its because they're in their own Sexy slump. Married/Coupled People: Mind your own Sexy business.

Curt: Well said, Reba. So, you're a woman who knows her way around vocal music. Which is the Sexier extra curricular activity... A Cappella or Show Choir?

Reba: First off, nothing suspends Sexy faster than Show Choir. A Cappella, on the other hand, is hands down the Sexiest way to use your voice. Nothing gets the group mind on track like tight harmonies laid over vocal percussion. It's hot, Curt. It's hot. The only un-Sexy a cappella song I've ever heard was the theme from Legend of Zelda. Video games and vocal interpretations of their soundtracks are not Sexy.

Curt: I've see the you tube videos...and I must agree. Finally, if you had asked me when we met almost 8 years ago if I thought I'd ever see your breasts, I'd have said no. Then I watched you use the breast pump. What has being a Mother changed about your Sexy?

Reba: I definitely feel more in tune with my body. That's Sexy.

Curt: It's very Sexy, indeed, and it's certainly one of the goals of Sexy '08. Well, thanks Reba...now let's go take a tour of the backstretch.

Reba: Yes!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Um...his beautiful eyes and his DSL. Nuff said.

Question for Nicolle:
What was the Sexiest song you sang while a member of MHSN's Women's Chorale...not to be confused with the Women's Corral?

TOM WELLING: Starting His Sexy Season 08 on SMALLVILLE

2008-09-18T09:43:00.007-04:00

I talk a lot about Robert Pattinson (who is getting a lot of play from not just me these days... the paparazzi seem to have gotten the memo and I feel totes bad for my bf) and I've even given David Boreanaz (my longest running celebrity crush ever- 11 yrs and still going baby!) some much needed play and while I've mentioned Tom Welling in passing... I really have not done the 6 ft plus hottie any justice on here. So that's what today is about... Doing a really hot guy (I WISH) some Sexy 08 justice on the debut of SMALLVILLE's Sexy Season 8 premiere. Give TW and SMALLVILLE a chance... if not for the plot, for the hot Sexy guys. (or in this case really, the one guy... Tom Welling- though I do love Michael Rosenbaum too but for other, more actor like reasons, but he's leaving the show and I've digressed into a crazy diatribe about not TW stuff- ahhhh!)

So... SMALLVILLE started much in the vein of Buffy (my fave show ever!)... Angsty Highschool Superhero saves the day against evil, strange townies (are there any other kind?) and deals with unhealthy relationships that will never work! GOOD TIMES... drama with fun ass-kicking. And... AND... the single hottest man to walk the Earth. No really. Tom Welling and I have had a slow burn for quiet some time now. And up until like 2 seasons ago, I was just kind of flirting with idea of his hotness... and then I had one of those dreams about him (AWESOME) and I woke up very pleased. Like ridunkously so and I was glad that he'd made Varsity in the celebrity crush world in my head and we have been totes together since... he and me and David (and now Bobby P). Our own little Big Love, if you will without all the clothing.

SO what's so great about TOM WELLING? Well let me explain a little something that means nothing to all of you, but plenty to me (which as you know is the whole point of this blog sometimes) SO ANYWAY, I love Twilight... and Edward Cullen (and Rob)... but truthfully my first Edward, in my head, was Tom Welling. Edward is supposed to be "the most beautiful man you've ever seen." And quite quickly, as I was reading, Tom was cast in my head because he is a beautiful, huge and muscularly man. TW has blue eyes and Sexy full lips and seriously have you seen his arms...? They are tree trunks. Lovely strong Tree Trunks that I would like wrapped around me, doing naughty things... etc. Um where was I?

So yea, Tom Welling... former Model/Construction Worker (hot)/Director?/Actor/Outta Control Hottie... One of my Sexy Celebrity Triumvirate... He plays a Sexy farm boy who throws other people around and beats the crap outta bad guys. Take a chance on him... his Sexy and SMALLVILLE Season 8 (starting tonight at 8pm EST). We all need a little Super Sexy in our lives and he's the right guy for the job!!!

Answer to Question of the Day:
The Sexiest part of my workday routine?? O Christ! I guess the morning run to Starbucks with former SPotW Meghan. We go and chat and gossip and bitch all our issues out all while judging the moms with their damn strollers and 700 kids. It is also a great time to get ogled by the Staples Construction guys and be outside enjoying the fine Summer/Fall weather. So yea- very Sexy... and not at all related to work... And I look forward to it, like every day.

Question to Curt:
What do you think is UBER- Sexy about Tom Welling, cause I know you think he's totally hot!

The Five Sexiest Things About Being A Single Dad.

2008-09-17T13:34:00.002-04:00

Being a single dad is so rewarding, but did you know that it can also be very very Sexy? I've compiled a list of Sexy lessons I've learned now that I'm a single dad...I know there's not much you all can do about your current situation: maybe you're a woman or maybe you don't know the joy of having wonderful daughters like I do...maybe you're married and don't foresee being single any time soon. I do hope that you can still take something away from today's blog.

Dads with their kids make the ladies' wombs ache.
Am I right ladies? When you see a young dad hanging with his kid(s), you get that itch. I have been hit on so many times by ladies: single and married...when they see me walk my daughter Melody into her baton twirling class or when I am shopping at Whole Foods with Alexis hanging off of my chest in one of those weird harnesses. The lesson here: a man who has love in his heart for children is super Sexy and will be noticed...whether he wants to be or not.

I get a rare chance to access my feminine side.
A man who can access his feminine side...a man who can be warm and sensitive, who can enjoy an episode of Hannah Montana or who can let himself cry when watching Beauty & the Beast is someone who is ready for big Sexy adventures. It's all about vulnerability and my wonderful daughters teach me every day to be vulnerable...mostly because they are little fireballs of emotion. My little Cosette, for instance can go from Zero to Hysterical in 3 seconds flat.

It's a great workout.
My wonderful daughters are always demanding that I pick them up and carry them places. Sometimes all three will want to be picked up at once...and when you add all of that weight together...Melody, Alexis, and Cosette...it can be quite the strenuous but satisfying workout. Plus my girls have no filter so they never miss an opportunity to tell me that I need to run a few miles or say no to the french fries for a couple of weeks. Gosh...those girls, they keep me in my best Sexy shape.

My character work is really blossoming.
Papa, tell me a story; Papa, create a one act play for these two American Girl dolls; Papa, tell us where our other father is. I have my work cut out for me to keep my girls entertained and engaged. That constant creative exercise has really informed my other creative "work": my improv and my writing. I feel more confident onstage and thus more Sexy. If I can entertain my demanding triumvirate, then I can entertain anyone!

I have been exposed to so many new things.
Having broad horizons can make a man awfully Sexy, and nothing broadens one's horizons like a few wonderful children. Forget the joys that go along with changing diapers and explaining the menses. I am talking about trips to see a teenager dressed up as Elmo at a Barnes and Noble or an evening at the Icecapades watching an Asian girl pretend to be Pocahontas or learning how to quilt so that you can make each of your daughters her own unique bedspread. This is my Age of Enlightenment and I have Melody, Alexis and Cosette to thank for it!

Answer to Nicolle's Question:
OMG. I totes want Chloris Leachman to win too. Because she is super old but still Sexy! The other people are old or weird or athletes. I am not going to watch but I will be rooting for you, Leachman. She was, of course, on the Mary Tyler Moore Show which I spent my post 8th grade summer watching. (I also dated a girl that summer...eek!)

Question for Nicolle:
What the most important part of your Sexy workday routine?

There's nothing Sexy about Girl on Girl Hate!

2008-09-16T11:17:00.008-04:00

A Dramatic Reading:

JUDY: OMG, look at Sarah's outfit, that is sooo totally wrong. Stripe pants with that FAT ASS?!

ANDREA: I know. What was she thinking? O and I totally heard she did it with Blane last night. I mean... I can't believe her- what a skank!

JUDY: God, I can't believe we were ever friends with her. I am totes over her and her Ogilvie home perm.

ANDREA: O yea, def... for sure. Gag me with a Spork!

What do we learn from the above dramatic interpretation (aside from the fact that I should totes be writing dialogue for either Gossip Girl OR 9021- O no you didn't)? I'll tell you what we learn... That women can be vicious, hurtful, and down right cruel creatures to each other. I know this because I'm one of them and I have committed the most heinous of social crimes, Girl on Girl HATE (you know it's up there, at least if not the worst). This societal phenomenon happens when women run full force into one another (metaphorically speaking) and try to destroy each other. 1000's of women/girls/chicks are abused daily by their own peer group. It's a travesty, an abomination and it needs to stop. And stop pretending you aren't guilty of it. Ya'll are totes guilty... even you men. You men egg it on (and eggs are hard ya'll)... Because 8 outta 10 times, we are Women behaving badly over one of you. It's so stupid, it's almost insane. And yet...

So why? Why do we do it? I'm not quite sure. Maybe to have all the eggs in the basket? (I'm talking a lot about eggs today people)- To have all the power? To be the HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge- thanks NY from Flavor of Love)? Maybe. Is it cause we really don't like Sarah's pants and hair and think she's a skank, possibly. But it ain't terribly Sexy. It creates drama, which can be fun sure (when watching TV) but in real life crushing those under our feet, other Sisters of the Traveling Pants, isn't really getting any jobs done. It's just making you a complete C U Next Tuesday. Which if that's your goal, congrats... if it's not so much your goal- cut the crap.

Now, I have issues with Women who do not befriend other Women. That is where all this nonsense starts. "OOO I don't have a lot or any female friends, just guys." WTF? That's shady, ladies. Don't abide that kind of behavior. Seriously (or not so seriously) Reach out and touch some chicks hands, make this world a better place, if you can. I mean, I have a lot of female friends. My two bestest friends are ladies (Hey Heather and Kristin- seen below)! I'm close to my sister (Hey Michelle- # 6 still nothing to sneeze at), my mom, Sammi, etc... (If I did not mention you- it's because this list would have gone on all the live long day, but I still love you all). It's time to make a stand, in someone else's land, (well ok so Voices That Care- doesn't work as well)- Just be friends with each other My Sassy sisters... No more Hate... No more brutal daily destruction- cause remember, it ain't Sexy. And we are all about the Sexy here... in case you hadn't heard!

Answer to Question of the Day:
I'd like to start this by saying, I don't watch this show- ever. So I think the Sexiest star this season is... O I don't like any of those choices. They are ridunkulous. I guess Cloris Leachman. Cause she's been around for ever and she totally said she wanted to Fuck John Stamos at Bob Saget's roast last month and that means she's Sassy. O and she was on The Fact of Life too. So- yea Cloris Leachman gets my vote - cause I too would not kick Stamos outta my bed either. (Another person who can get in my bed whenever he wants, Robert Pattinson!)

Question to Curt:
What about you- who's the Sexiest Dancin' Spazz for you this season?

The Red Badge of Sexy...or...Who Wants to Hear Something Gross...

2008-09-15T14:06:00.003-04:00

So as per my blog last week, I am back up on the workout horse.
I have set a goal for myself to beat my last 8k time (35:40 from the Shamrock Shuffle) in this year's Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day...who's with me?!?! Anyway, I have set out a tentative schedule for myself of how much and how fast I need to run...and how often, etc. That program dictated that I jog 9 miles yesterday...so I positioned myself on a treadmill in front of the Bears/Panthers game (no joke...football is pretty easy to watch...by the way...Go Giants!!!) and started the almost 90 minute journey.

I was cruising along to the sounds of the Indigo Girls, my best friends on a really long run, and closing in on my 9th mile. Then I happened to look down and I was quite surprised to see a fairly large blood stain hovering over my left nipple region. Oops. Runners are often concerned about nipple chaffing. Long periods of irritation can draw blood, and that is indeed what happened here. Gross. So I was running along for presumably miles with this macabre looking stain growing and growing.

How many people walked by my treadmill and thought (or laughed) to themselves that horse-legged man is bleeding from the nipple? Quite a few I imagine. Oh well. We cannot be concerned with vanity when we work out. If paparazzi were to sneak into my gym and take pictures of me in a sweat and blood soaked t-shirt and then subsequently publish it in US Weekly, I would not be embarrassed. I'd think, well at least housewives and gossip hounds everywhere will know that I put in some work to stay Sexy.

I never read The Red Badge of Courage...I was supposed to, but I didn't. But I think it's about this boy in the civil war who gets shot and survives and like, that's his red badge and he gets courageous and he continues to fight. Well now I have my own Red Badge of Sexy...even though I'm totally gonna wash that stain out (if I don't thrown the shirt away, altogether)...b/c it's gross.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Oh dear, we had so many Sexy times at the BC...and all before we were truly Sexy. It think some of my favorite times were when it would be 4:30 and we would have worked the whole day side by side and we'd be like hey let's do something tonight. Little did we know that back then we were laying the ground work for a Sexy revolution.

Question for Nicolle:
I think Dancing with the Stars is ridiculous, but of this season's lineup...who is the Sexiest contestant?

Sexiest Person of the Week: URVI!!!

2008-09-12T08:39:00.010-04:00

It's Friday and time for SPotW! Today's SPotW is none other than Goddess of Sexy, Urvi Gandhi! Urvi and I have worked together at the formerly known BC for 5 years now. She and I could not be anymore different. She is a fairly calm, rational, smart, quiet, gal who misses her mother country of India. She hates donkeys and monkeys and loves herself some dark chocolate. Urvi can be hilarious whether it's saying funny words like Florida or declaring that she hates one of our co-workers. I love her and you should too. Get to know Urvi Gandhi!

Also- it is former SPotW's Bday Mr Thes!!! Happy Birthday Chef! We love you here!

Urvi and I met at Platform 9 and 3/4 in London, England. We made sure our trunks and owls were packed away and boarded the Hogwarts Express. As we found a quiet compartment, we chatted excitedly about our 7th year at Hogwarts (School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) and about Sexy!!!

ME: Wow there are a lot of first years on here. We totally need to get like a flying car. Hey there goes Harry and Ron!! (waves hi)

Urvi: (waving as well) I'm so excited for the start of year feast! I hope it's vegetarian this year. All that Treacle Tart is Gross!

ME: I'm still not sure what's in it. So you are Sexiest Person of the Week, congrats!

Urvi: Thank you. It took you long enough to pick me. Whatever Nicolle!

ME: More like, whatever... Urvi. So anyway, much like Harry's wacky tale you and your Sexy husband overcame a lot of crazy unSexy obstacles to get together. What's your favorite part of your Sexy story??

Urvi: It could be turned into a super Bollywood (Indian version of Hollywood) masala hit flick; I just don’t have a script writer yet. Seriously, the sexiest part is the end. Until the morning of the day we got engaged we weren’t sure what we were doing – eloping, getting engaged or parting our ways, but it turned out to be a good ending, marking the beginning of a new journey.

ME: Awwww. Marriage is complex. You know what else is complex your love of India... So in honor of that, what's the Sexiest thing about being in the USA... What's the Sexiest thing about India?

Urvi: McCain running for president? (I flick my wand and make the sound of crickets chirping)... SNOW (even though I don’t like the cold weather .. I enjoy light snow showers) – it feels like an angel is showering white flowers on you while you walk on the sexy thin layer of white carpet. It makes me feel happy and free. Those who don’t like to go out in snow can feel sexy by cuddling on the couch and sipping sexy warm tea by the fireplace.. As for India, Monsoons. I love the rain (not the wrath of Mother Nature but just NORMAL sexy rain). I love getting wet and dancing in the rain and the smell of the earth.. so good.. I miss dancing in the rain. It feels liberating..

ME: You like to dance in the rain? I mean I knew you liked Indian rain better, but all right. We have worked together for 5 years... What's the Sexiest office supply??

Urvi: Definitely post-its. They come in different sizes, shapes, colors and even transparent. It can be used as a sexy coffee roster or a book marker.. it can make a unsexy day sexy by helping you organize things.

ME: Personally I like Binder Clips. They are very versatile, like that time Curt and I pretended we were on a reality show and they were our mics. But I digress, now that you are a Sexy homeowner, tell me what the Sexiest thing is about owning a home.

Urvi:Hmmm signing my life over to the bank for next 30 years? No, it’s just the feeling of being at home, and getting new furniture and decorating however the hell you like it.

ME: Um, you just cursed. That's Awesome and Sexy. Ok, last question... If you were writing a Sexy story about supernatural beings... what would be the basic plot and who would be the Sexy characters?

Urvi: The basic plot would be a love story with saving the world kind of drama. The world would be a mix of mortals, fairies, witches, giants and vampires. Fairies and witches will be joining hands with giants and vampires to save mortals. This can only happen if the Sexy god fairy who is in love with the beautiful vampire sacrifices their love because – NO ONE CAN LIVE WHILE THEY ARE ONE…

ME: Damn, that's high drama-rama there Urvs. Seriously, I love how vampires are so hip now-a-days. Oooo there goes Edward Cullen down the train. We gotta get into our Griffyndor Robes and make a be line for him and Cedric Diggory (not dead).

Urvi: Nicolle, just because Robert Pattinson plays both of them in movies...

ME: Be Quiet and hand me my scarf! Robert Pattinson away!!!

Answer to Question of the Day:
Is/Can texting be Sexy. I see your points from yesterday, but I suppose I need to counter-point... just to keep the Sexy Scales from tipping. I think texting can be totes Sexy. A quick "Hi, what's up" is clearly an invite to a phone call or a lead in to- whatever you are up to, you should be up to with me- kind of moment. It is often better than talking to someone if you don't have the time to invest or you don't want to "get into it" with someone right that second. It is also great for a quick Sexy love note, like "Hey, thinking of you naked." So yea- Sexy. Anyone want a hot Sexy text?

Question to Curt:
As I was interviewing Urvi, I was reminded of the Awesome Sexy of our front-desk teamage... So in that vein, what was the Sexiest moment of working together at the formerly known BC for you?

True Blood is Truly Sexy

2008-09-11T13:09:00.004-04:00

So, Nicolle is the vampire lover in this revolution. She loves vampires; she loves their mythology; she would host a dinner party for vampires and invite vampires to play on her soccer team. She would totally give a great reference to a vampire who was looking for work (do vampires work>). I do not scoff at Nikki's interest because...hey, we're all into unusual stuff...I love and dream of horses, for instance...but I never really got the whole "vampires are Sexy" movement that my co-rev has seemingly been spearheading. Until Sunday night.

I love HBO and I am currently spending way too much money per month to enjoy the privilege of watching it. I think their original series are awesome and, frankly...on another level. So, even though I have no previous inclination to love the vampire, I decided to give their new vampire-laden series, True Blood a try.

And boy I am glad I did. True Blood is so so Sexy. Anna Paquin plays this sultry waitress at a backwoods restaurant in Lousiana who meets and becomes enamoured of a Sexy chivalrous vampire played by some smouldering British actor. In one episode, their chemistry exploded off the screen and into my living room, where I sat, trying to pick my jaw off of the floor. With any luck, these two will become a Sexy super couple...like the Sexiest super couple of all, Luke & Laura. (By the way, Laura is back on General Hospital. She is totally (at least temporarily) recovered from the madness she fell into after she murdered her stepfather and is trying to keep her daughter from falling into madness after she stabbed and killed her ex-boyfriend.)

But back to True Blood...I think we can all agree that there are some very unSexy things about the South...you know like backwards values and religious fanaticism...but the setting of this show is so steamy and sultry that you'll wish you were eating crawdads and fried green tomatoes at a restaurant in the middle of a swamp where waitresses can read your thoughts (Did I mention that Anna Paquin's waitress can hear what people are thinking? I didn't? Well, she can.) and chivalrous vampires who are old enough to remember the Civil War could drop by for a bottle of synthetic blood (you'll just have to watch.). And that, my friends is what we call a run-on sentence. Check out True Blood on HBO!

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Texting is not Sexy. It is annoying. Texting is yet another way in which people can play games with each other and can, either deliberately or accidentally, misinterpret each other. Pick up the goddamn phone and call. How ridiculous is it to flirt via text message? How is it even possible? Your line readings could be completely off base. Text for an address or to confirm the time of a meeting...or to let someone know you are on the way...it should not be a substitute for real communication.

Question for Nicolle:
What is your position on texting? Is it/can it be Sexy?

Thoughts on a Commitment to Fitness...and Staying atop your Sexy Steed.

2008-09-09T12:38:00.004-04:00

I've said in the past that I need to have something to look forward to, namely a race, if I am to continue on a hard core work out schedule. And now, as the fall arrives, I can look forward once again to taking on the 8k Turkey Trot, to be held on Thanksgiving Day. You'll recall that last year this was the first race I ran (along with former SPotW Molly Wilbanks), and this year running will commemorate over a year of commitment to fitness. Remember when I had no interest in physical activity, working out, etc? I do...vaguely.

I have to tell you, though, that this summer, I have not had more that one or two really solid weeks of workouts. It's been a busy summer but also a lazy one. I've been travelling to bachelorette parties, weddings, festivals, cross-country moves...and hosting friends and revolutionaries. But I've also had long days of unemployment during which I have sat in the chair I'm sitting in right now.

The old, unSexy Curt had a big problem maintaining fitness upon encountering a tiny bump in the road. One week off of working out would often lead to two weeks to two months to a whole year. Nikki and I have both suffered from thee Sexy slip-ups in the past. But it's been a year folks...a year since I've been working out...and let me tell you, I cannot go too long in between workouts. If I do, I feel gross.

I will not go back to the old, unSexy Curt, so that means that sometimes I'm going to have to run for a 1/2 hour in the Wasneski's basement just an hour after finishing a 2.5 day car trip; sometimes I'm going to have to keep running after I trip on an uneven sidewalk and tumble to the ground, skinning my knee; sometimes I'm going to have to wake up early on a trip and go down to the hotel workout room even though I'd rather sleep.

Many of us know how hard it is to get back on the workout horse...thing of the burning pain of that first day back in a long time...but here's a novel idea...don't ever get off the horse in the first place. If you're busy...if you're just having one of those lazy days...get onto a smaller horse or even a pony. You can't make yourself run? Then walk. By making myself workout, even minimally, at times when I've not been at home or not felt like getting out of this armchair, I have made it easier to launch back into a hard core training regime...like the one I'm about to tackle for this year's Turkey Trot.

PS...If any of my dear friends are going to be in town on Thanksgiving, you should totes run this with me. You can eat whatever you want the rest of the day and not feel guilty.

Answer to Nicolle's question:
Oh God, the Sexiest moment of the VMAs was when Rihanna, still filled with the Olympic spirit, did an awesome uneven bars routine, complete with a perfect dismount and then presented the award for best video by an artist currently not permitted in the country to Amy Winehouse for her song/video, "Fuck You, Cats Live in My Hair." The unSexiest moment what when Madonna chose to do a five minutes yoga instructional in lieu of a performance. Oh yeah, and she farted real loud. Gross.

Question for Nicolle:
Nicolle, I have recently watched True Blood on HBO. Why didn't you tell me how Sexy vampires were?

Tropical Storm Hanna Montana ruined my Sexy weekend plans!

2008-09-08T10:56:00.013-04:00

I got home on Friday afternoon to like 5 phone calls from my local Twnship telling me to "Batten down the hatches, there's a storm a comin' !!!" And I thought, oooookay- I guess this is like for reals then, huh? And I calmly texted my friends, with whom I had plans this weekend, and was like "Guess TS Hanna's got her own plans this weekend..." And they confirmed there would be no hanging out due to craptastic weather. AWESOME and Booooo.

Now, my dear Sexy friends, normally I make hot, sassy single lemonade outta moments like this... But, truth be told, I'd been making hot, sassy, single lemonade for the last three weekends and I was just about dried up for ideas. All I wanted to do was go out with my friends and party it up... but that didn't happen... so what did? A whole lotta nothing... and you know what they say about nothing... it's like the devil's play thing or some nonsense like that... (is that what they say?) and I kind of fell off the Sexy radar on Saturday. But like Hanna didn't cause it just rained and winded and weathered all over my ass... thanks TS Hanna Montana, you suck!

And well here's the problem... how many times have you sat there with nothing to do and essentially given up being part of the revolution just cause you didn't know what else to do? Raise of hands people? Wow, that many huh? Well my hand's up... I was a Cold, rainy mess this weekend... and I have to stop doing that. I have to remind myself of the responsibility I put forth for myself and this endeavor. It's not easy. When I'm alone, it's the easiest time to give up. But I can't let Tropical Storms destroy my Sexy. I can't let lame ass weekends do it either. And I definitely cannot let pizza parties and cookie trays at work ruin my Sexy. I have worked too hard to just give up now in Sept 08. I wanna be Sexy... and it's like a full time job. AND I wanna work hard for my Sexy... just can um, it not rain anymore ? Cause I really wanna see my Sexy Friends soon!

In other news... my boyfriend was on the VMA's last night (do not even ask- it was awful and that Jackass Brand cut off Robert before he got to announce my new fave band Paramore)- anyway here he is looking devastatingly Sexy with Taylor Lautner (aka Jacob Black in the Twilight Movie). Damn if he looked at me like that- I would have... idk, died... perhaps. For Reals, his Sexy is TANGIBLE!!!

Answer to Question of the Day:
New shows?? O I don't really watch new shows, unless there's someone who's acting I support. O wait, maybe Joss Whedon's "Welcome to the Dollhouse" starring Eliza Dusku... or if I had HBO, "Trueblood" cause it's about vampires. But ultimately I saw the new 90210 and it was asstastic, so new shows- not my thang. But show I cannot wait to see return?? Smallville, o Tom Welling I've missed you!!! (David you already returned so it doesn't count)

Question to Curt:
I know you didn't watch the VMA's but pretend and tell me what you thought was the Sexiest and the least Sexiest moment of the evening... Go Ahead and make it up. I'm sure that will be funnier anyway!!